After a few months...
>> Monday, 13 December 2010
Hola....
Hola....
Hello all....
Aku dah beranak...kehkehkeh. Aku dah beranak! Meh aku cerita sikit...sementara masih fresh ni kan. Aynur Khalesya bt Ahmad Khairudin lahir pada hari Selasa, 17/8/2010 pukul 6.20 petang. Bersamaan 8 Ramadhan.....errrr....bape hijrah ntah. Ampeh aku tatau....huhuuh. Dia lahir di-induced, kuar secara normal dengan berat 3.15kg. Anyway hari tu ialah sehari sebelum due date. Aku boleh kata la, lahirnya Aynur ni....macam accidentally induced....hehe.
Aku masa tu dah restless. 40 weeks takda sign apa-apa lagi. Aku nak baby keluar awal. Tapi nampaknya badan aku sama blur dengan tuan dia gak...no sign of labour. Badan aku cam tak ready je. Aku punya la berjalan, buat kerja rumah semua. Jalan-jalan kat shopping complex. Mana ada aku rehat-rehat. Nak kasi dilate cervix ni. Semayang terawikh tak main ler duduk-duduk. Aku semayang cam biasa ok. Berat yang amat. Nak tertanggal lutut aku nih. Nak kasi up chance for dilation punya pasal. Pastu doktor kata have sex, it can help dilate....ha, jalan! Tapi huh, takde derrr dia nak dilate. Takda contraction pun, no show at all. Doktor plak sejak 3 minggu lepas tu manjang je nak induce aku...aku pun tak paham. Dia kata baby punya size dah cantik...dia takut besar sangat. Mungkin dia tengok hips aku kecik kot. Dia kata nanti kepala baby keras susah nak kuar. Tapi dia kata its up to me, wanna wait or induce. Aku kalau boleh nak tunggu normal betul-betul. Tuh la usaha keras tu. Takot induce kalu, tak bukak jalan, memang kena belah la kan...akak nak elakkan benda tu dek non!
That day suppose to be another usual checkup for me. Doktor mula-mula seluk, check dilation. Dia geleng-geleng....takda progress yang banyak, dia kata. Pastu dia gi mana tah, aku nampak dia cakap-cakap dengan nurse dia....pastu dia datang seluk lagi second time. Then dia kata "Dah!". Aku tanye apa yang dah? Doktor cakap dah induce. Astaga...doktor telah menyumbatkan ubat contraction ke dalam ituuu secara diskrit sekali. Ish...aku saman jugak doktor ni kang. Nasib baik doktor ni best and aku kira bagus gak la....and nasib baik all went well. Kira cita-cita dia nak induce aku tercapai la gak...haha.
Well, that was at around 10.20 am. Doktor suruh dok dendiam selama sejam. So aku pun dok ler....baring atas katil sambil cuak va-jj aku taknak bukak kang. 20 minit pastu, aku dah rasa contraction....tapi tak sakit. Aku bleh tahan je. Oleh sebab doktor cakap dok diam selama sejam, lepas je sejam aku selamba tukar kain batik dan lompat turun katil. Bergerak semasa contraction (swinging your hips) adalah sangat membantu meringankan kesakitan dan menolong dilation. So aku jalan-jalan dalam bilik labour tu, amik gambar, then kuar ke bilik menunggu jumpa mak and adik aku yang tengah tunggu aku. Then tunggu Din gi belikan GCB McD kat aku....GCB was my lunch that day...hehe. I was surpsisingly calm (but nervous). Maybe i was calm because i feel its inevitable...aku tak boleh lari lagi dah. Its happening by hook or by crook.
By 2 pm, doktor masuk balik, check dilation. Ada progress...lega. Doktor pun pecahkan amniotic sac atau dalam bahasa Melayunya sarung ketuban...hehe. Rasa panas je air tu kuar. Habis basah atas katil. Darn...cam terkencing atas katil plak rasa. Pastu dia tuka pelapik atas katil tuh. Lepas pecah tu, contraction pick up dengan hebat dan aku mula rasa sakit....tapi tahan. Sikit je. Masa tu memang dah atas katil la. Tak leh turun dah....takkan nak kasi air ketuban meleleh menceceh-ceceh atas lantai kan. Dalam setengah jam...ok, perut semakin lenguh....semakin memulas. Boleh tahan lagi dalam 5 cm bukak tu. Din tanye, nak epidural ke. Aku kata tak payah (lagi) (tak payah lagi). Mana tau bleh tahan kan...hehe. Masa tu aku belasah gas mamai tu. Its called etonox. Some gas, mixed with oxygen. Ada class siot gas tu. Gas tu gunanya untuk relaxkan kita. Tapi memang ada kelas. Mula-mula tak rasa apa-apa. Lama-lama kepala aku jadi ringan gila. Mata aku tak boleh fokus apa-apa pun. Dalam erti kata lain, aku high. Semua benda aku nampak ada 2, 3. Jam kat diding tu cam menari beramai-ramai. Mana nak cari gas tu. Aku nak carik aa satu tong. Bawak balik. Boleh high kat umah.
Mula-mula gas tu mmg menolong aku relax. Addicted sial. Aku nak cari setong nih. Anyway, gas tu menolong masa mula-mula la kan. Pastu aku rasa badan aku panas berbahang. Macam aircond rosak je kan. Aku dah rasa berpeluh. Ok, contraction start picking up. Makin kerap dan makin sakit. Etonox mula menjadi useless sedikit demi sedikit. Etonox, you failed me! But still aku nak cari setong, atau dua tong. Aku dah genggam handle katil kiri kanan. Doctor masuk lagi, check dilation cervix. Dah terbukak lagi. Masa tu semue benda tak kena dah...aku dah campak mask etonox tu, dengan aircondnya tak berfungsi, kejap aku pegang Din, kejap aku marah tolak dia ape sume...tp dia tetap di sisi aku. Tak pernah tinggal....hehe.
Masa tu aku kata nak epidural. Nurse tu masuk kata tak payah la. Dah lewat nak epidural. Sayang je cucuk skang. Patut cucuk awal-awal lagi. Pastu contraction datang lagi. Woh, gila! Aku cakap aku nak epidural. Nurse tu pujuk lagi....kata tak payah. Wakluu la nurse...aku sakit nih (kata dalam hati). Contaction datang lagi dan lagi. Terus la aku meraung-raung nak epidural. Aku jadi sedih and frust plak kenapa diorang tanak kasi aku epidural. Apa salah aku!
'Nak epidural....kenapa dioarg tanak kasi epidural. Panggil doktor cepat....nak epidural!', gitu la aku dok meraung.
I think that was around 5pm lebih kot. Masa tu aku tak kira apa dah. Aku jerit je. Sakit gaban. Rasa seperti period pain kali sejuta. Ok, sejuta mungkin terlalu banyak. Seperti period pain kali lima ratus ribu. Sape yang tatau rasa sakit dia, you're in no position to judge me screaming....haha. Rupenya doctor anaesthetic dalam operation room. Patut la lambat. Pastu tengok dia terkocoh-kocoh masuk. Sekonyong-konyong, nampak doktor india tu seperti seorang yang paling hebat dalam bilik tu. Kitorang sume tunggu sampai the current contraction berlalu, pastu dia cepat-cepat cucuk tulang belakang aku at the 4th lumbar. Cant cucuk epidural masa contraction and surprisingly tak rasa apa...contraction lagi sakit. Dia cucuk tu rasa sekelumit je. Immeidately my pain was cut off 40%. Amazing. Thank god for epidural. Then gradually lessen and lessen til i cant feel the pain. Then pastu, tunggu dilation bukak sikit lagi....
Orang kata, pakai epidural susah pulak sebab tak rasa contraction and tak boleh rasa nak teran. Kena forsep la, vaccuum la, atau last-last kena belah gak. Tapi aku rasa tak la sampai camtu. Cos you can actually feel the contraction. Cuma tak sakit. And doktor pun boleh rasa/nampak contraction coming. So now that i have my epidural, im more relax. Doktor pun dengan tenangnye cakap, 'farin, contraction coming. Take a deep breath, push until 10". So aku pun teran la sampai 10 saat. The thing is, memang tak rasa ko teran tu. Part tu la orang kata susah tu kot. Aku buat je motion teran tu kuat-kuat. Bayangkan ko sembelit and nak push poop ko yang besar batu (atau bayangkan nak push baby pun boleh...huhuuh). Nasib baik energy aku banyak lagi time tu. Dah makan GCB dengan air milo kan sebelum tu....haha. Strategi sebenarnye tu. Strategy for energy.
Bila dah keluar kepala baby tu, doktor kilas bahu baby, terus tarik the whole badan baby. Then....bam! doctor letak baby atas badan aku. Aku boleh nampak baby yg masih biru, berlendir-lendir lagi atas perut aku. Depan mata aku diorg sumbat tube dalam hidung baby untuk buat suction clearkan lendir dalam paru-paru baby. Tercekik-cekik Aynur aku tengok....hehe. Haha....i just delivered my baby. Im so cool! (perasaan pada diri sendiri....padahal sume pempuan pun beranak kot). That was at 6.20 pm. I cant really tell the chronology with exact time in between before the birth. Aku tengah risau dan sakit. Aku tak sure plak bila aku start meneran ke ape. Tapi yang aku tau, tak lama.
Parents aku first datang melawat. Diorg masuk dalam labour room terus. Then aku pun masuk ward. Aku rasa gila panas. Padahal suhu dalam bilik tu aku turunkan sampai 10 celcius ok! Aku tetap rasa panas berbahang-bahang. Din dengan nurse dah terketar-ketar sejuk. Ntah, peluh and bahang tu cam kuat gile, lambat plak tu hilang. Sampai ke malam tu aku kepanasan. Padahal aircond jalan je. Then people start coming in...tgk Aynur. Esok petang tu, sudah balik rumah. Aku punya stitches sikit je. Doktor kata 1.5 cm je koyak. Cepat jer aku sembuh.
I consider myself having an easy delievery, syukur pada Tuhan. Aku sakit lebih kurang selama 2 jam gitu je. 3 jam la paling lama, sebelum dapat epidural tu. Pastu the labour process pun sekejap. Berkat doa parents aku yang semayang hajat selalu untuk aku. Berkat doa adik beradik. Berkat semayang hajat dan doa auntie dan uncle aku...berkat doa suami aku. Doa aku sendiri di bulan Ramadhan. Next pregnancy and delivery.....siapa yang tahu....huhuuh.
Skang Aynur dah sebulan 6 hari. Berat dia dah naik 1.5 kg in 1 month. Gilos...aku tak larat nak angkat...help! She's enjoying life already!...hehe (berserta colic, menangis malam-malam, kembung perut, muntah-muntah dan berbau hamis akibat muntah...the usual stuff =D). Aku punya weight dah turun asal. Breastfeeding and penat menjaga Aynur punya pasal (goodbye long sleep at night). Tapi muscle mass still low. That means berat aku skang still bukan berat asal aku, walaupun dah turun asal....haha...paham tak? Understand the konsep of weight and muscle mass and you know what i mean. Have to rebuild my muscle...
(No....Ramadhani is never is my baby name list)
Til next time....
Ramadhan yang best sudah datang. Nothing beats eating good food together after a long day of empty stomach. Not forgetting sembahyang terawikh yang sebenarnye amat baik untuk menolong perut mencerna makanan.
Tapi aku tahun ni tak kuat la. Ingatkan tahun ni first time puasa dengan suami kan. Boleh masak kat dia, buka puasa sama-sama. Atau gi cari tempat best nak berbuka. Lepas tu pergi sembahyang terawikh sama-sama. Tapi tak dapek la. Skang sempat la lagi nak puasa. Tapi kalau aku puasa, mula la aku terfikir....baby cukup air ke ni. Tiba-tiba pulak dia sedu kan. Selalu baby hiccup kalau aku tak cukup air. Aih....sedikit susah hati la kan. Tapi aku puasa jugak. Bila aku rasa cam takut tak cukup air, kang heartbeat dia naik lagi....aku berbuka la (oh hari tu heartbeat dia naik...doc suspect heartbeat dia tinggi tu sebab temperature aku naik sikit, 37.4 je pun). Nak sembahyang terawikh pun aku mungkin tak cukup kuat. Tapi memang aku paksakan jugak la...takde la aku nak manjakan diri sangat. Pastu nanti nak beranak....memang sepanjang Ramadhan la kan aku berpantang.
C'mon Farin....c'mon! Redah je...! Cabaran sungguh. Bayangkan banyak mana aku kena ganti ni. Nak ganti 8 hari dalam setahun pun kemain payah. Ni nak ganti sampai sebulan.
I'm actually restless. Not good Farin....not good. Anxious. In agony. Aku nak masuk labour! But labour will not start on a stressed out body. Not good for me, not good for baby. Baby will come out unhappy if im too stressed and to forcefull... I'm in the 39th week today. Why i'm stressed? I want baby to get out now....hahaha. I have dilation, but i dont feel any contraction. No painful contraction. Everytime perut mengeras, im hoping it would progress to be painful. But no....not painful. Means no labour....yet.
Why i need baby to come out now?.....well....i dont have a good reason actually. Selain sebab tidak sabar, dan sedikit penat. Badan aku sakit-sakit. Lutut, tapak kaki, peha, crotch....arghh. Selfish reason maybe? Maybe so....haha. Aku ada terfikir nak induce....tapi mak aku cakap tak payah. Due pun belum kenapa nak kecoh, dia kata. Nak bwat ape kan, dia kata. My condition is fine. Blood pressure aku ok, gula dalam darah ok, heartrate baby ok, movement baby ok...contraction je kureng. Kena tunggu sikit lagi. It will happen eventually.....they say. Because baby will come out when she's ready...and also when my body's ready.
People say first time pregnancy tend to be late babies. But there are some people who naturally go to labour early for first babies. Ahh....untung mereka. Orang kata baby lambat ni baby laki, because guys are naturally pemalas sikit kan. Ada orang kata, baby lambat ni girl....tau la, girls kan ada je bendenye yg buat lambat. Heheheh...sampai skang aku memang tak tahu gender sebenar dia la. I never think about the gender since im 7 months pregnant.
This makes me a bit grumpy too. Orang pregnant kadang-kadang memang senang marah kan. Aku tidak la camtu, tapi kalau orang tu memang sengaja lagi bwat aku marah, dia memang kena sound la kan.
Hari tu aku kat Giant, alone. Din belum balik keje lagi masa tu. Aku beli groceries sikit. Boleh la exercise sket kan....jalan-jalan. Keluar je dari Giant, aku carry la semua plastic bag tu. Malas pulak nak heret trolley ke kereta kan. Plastik tu pulak boleh tahan la berat. Aku pun jalan la nak kuar. Tiba-tiba ada orang insurance stop aku, suruh beli insurans untuk baby. Aku kata takpe, taknak....aku cakap elok-elok. Pastu dia ikut aku, dia kata "tunggu dulu kak, kak kena dengar ni dulu". Aku kata "takpe mekasih, saya tak mahu". Pastu believe it or not....dia tak putus asa okaaayyy, still trying to stop me. Pastu memang aku stop la kan. Aku tengok muka dia siap dengan berkerut-kerut muka aku, seraya aku berkata, "eh, saya penat ni tau tak".
'ok kak, sori kak,' dia kata sambil angkat tangan kat aku.
Tu aku rasa memang carik pasal namanya. Aku dah cakap elok-elok awal-awal....siap dengan senyuman manis lagi. Nak main-main pulak ehh dengan aku....hahaha. Grumpy ke tidak?
Hahaha....i hope my next post will be different. I hope my next post will be very different.
The other day. Baby gave me a scare.
Baby didnt move. Baby is usually very active in the morning. Full of energy. Baby will wake up really early, pastu dia buat kalut ribut dalam perut aku...hahaha. Aku pun akan terbangun and layan dia kejap. Pergi breakfast, then dia golek-golek, push-push lagik, then dia akan rilek (tido la kot) kejap. Lunch time dia bgn, demanding for food....tadak food, dia buat kalut lagi....hehe.
Hari tu, aku bangun as usual....but its weird, because baby tak gerak. Hhmm....ok, takpe. Aku pun makan pagi, expecting baby to move after food come down. Hhhmmmm.....tak gerak. Aku sedikit panik. Aku pun ketuk-ketuk sket perut....hhhhmmmmmm.....tak gerak gak. Aku tunggu jap sebelum panik tahap gaban menjelma. Tunggu dalam 45 minit. Then aku ketuk and goyang-goyang perut dengan lebih ganas....hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm.....tak gerak juga yer. Alarm is already ringing in my head. Immediately aku kejut din, gi buat CTG (cardiotocograph - check heart beat baby and my contraction) kat spital. Thank the holly Allah, heartbeat still as strong as ever. Later after almost at lunch, baru dia active. Thank god thank god thank god.....
Its a horrible moment for me that time. Nangis? Toksah cakap la....tapi aku tak nangis depan Din. Aku tanak dia pun panik. Sementara aku tunggu Din mandi tu, memang aku doa and nangis tak sudah la. Din kuar je cepat-cepat aku lap air mata and we go straight away to DEMC. Baby bwat camni kat aku 2 kali sepanjang pregnancy ni. Dulu sekali masa 6 bulan...dia bertapa tak gerak. Aku panik gile babun....pastu time-time panik tu aku pi bedal banyak gile ceklet....pastu dan-dan dia gerak. Ha, kamu suke ceklet yer baby? The second time is few days ago ni la....horrible moment. I was begging God and baby not to do this to me....it feels almost like being dump (aku dengan Din dulu pernah ada problem kejap where i was dumped....uh'huh, by him. the feelings is almost the same, just this is more horrible.)
I ask baby, why he do like that. Why did he (or she) scare the life out of me...
"Kenapa mama? Mama jangan la takot. I'm stwong, you see. Baby kan selalu push mama kuat-kuat. Im a stwong baby!"
"habis tu kenapa tak gerak-gerak mama goyang?"
"i was busy counting my fingers ma. abah kan selalu ajar baby kire."
Aihh....budak ni. Hehehhe.....anyway, i always have conversation like this with baby....ekekkee. I predicted that i will give birth by this week. Kalau semua ready, InsyaAllah. I already have dilation. We'll see....
I am counting weeks....still.
I am now in my 36th week. Khamis ni aku dah 37 week. After 37th week, baby is considered full term. Baby yang lahir selepas 37 minggu adalah dikira normal dan full term.
So after this i might be counting days, y'know...
Jumaat ni aku punya routine weekly checkup. I love my checkups. I know Din also loves it. Satu sebab, of course sebab aku boleh tengok baby. Thats the best part kan....hehe. Din juga never fail to go to any of our checkup. Dia punya insurance cover checkup. So aku kadang-kadang suka-suka nak 3D scan. Hamik ko...RM300+ sekali checkup 3D. Kalau scan biasa dalam seratus lebih je. Doctor aku plak cool. Suka aku. Aku rasa doctor ni cool gila when she bluntly said to me and Din...."have some sex. it will help a little". Gladly doc!
Aku sebenarnya cuak. Cuak nak beranak. Aku tengah cuba bersedia mentally and physically. Tapi aku tatau nak bersedia macam mana dah. Cuak tetap ada, because you dont know what will happen. You can expect it....tapi you will never know what's gonna happen until you're there, at that moment. Tapi bila fikir balik, kawan-kawan keliling aku pun beranak...ok je. Hidup je kan. Millions of women around the world beranak every day. So its the most natural thing to happen to a woman. It maybe hard....but its doable....boleh dilakukan. Jadi aku pun interview la ramai kawan-kawan aku pasal beranak ni.
Ila - aku excited la makin dekat nak beranak tu. ntah kenapa aku tak rasa takot pun nak beranak. Aku pakai epidural, sbb aku induce. Sakit sgt.
Rusma - takde ape la wey. aku beranak normal, takde epidural. mmg sakit la. tapi once ko tgk baby, hilang sume. kejap je. Tapi lepas tu mmg sakit la masa nak sembuh tu....hahaha. (laughing included) wey, baik ko jangan saiko2 camni wey. Tunggu je time tu. Sume bende2 ni natural la... Manchett - Alah, nanti ko dah 8, 9 bulan, ko malas nak takot dah. Ko nak baby kuar je sebab dah tak larat sangat. Eh, ko nak beli set bersalin amway tropical herbs? kalau nak cakap la tau...aku pakai gak mendalah ni dulu. Bagus gak.
Kawan opis - Ala, bersalin mesti la sakit. Baca la doa2 sket. baca doa nabi yunus dalam perut ikan tu utk senangkan bersalin.
Kata-kata ini agak melegakan...somehow. Tapi aku still cuak. Macam aku cakap tadi, i dont know whats gonna happen. Because one thing that i know about myself, i have a low tolerance for pain. Nak cucuk ubat tetanus masa 5 bulan pregnant dulu pon aku berpeluh cam ape dah. Im trying to get my mental and physical ready, but i think i freak myself more. So cemana agaknye aku nak get ready mental dan fizikal ni. Aku ada gak cakap-cakap dengan baby.
"Baby, your head stay down dan muka pandang belakang ok. Thats the best position for both of us. Bila sampai time, mama will push you and you push urself out too ok. You help mama, then semua cepat. Baby boleh jumpe mama and abah cepat-cepat....i know you're a good baby."
Then semalam aku ada cakap dengan baby....
"Baby, do u wanna come out early? Pastu boleh jumpe mama dengan abah cepat2. Bleh jumpe atuk, tokma, tok dengan tokwan cepat. Semua orang tak sabr nak jumpe baby ni. Kalau baby dah ready, baby kasi je signal ok. we will get you out"
Lepas tu malam tu jugak dan-dan aku rasa sakit kat pelvic. Sakit kat pangkal paha dan lower back jugak. Ada rasa pressure and ngilu sket. Risau kejap. Baby is still moving, no problem with baby. I think baby is engaged. Hence the weird unusual pain. We'll figure this out this Friday. Excited kamu ni baby.....
Hehe.....till next time folks.
I have a problem.
Din pasang perangkap lipas kat dapur rumah. Alaa....yang Ridsect tu. So sekarang dlm perangkap tu lekat la 2 ekor. Din kata tinggal dulu perangkap tu, nanti kot ada a few lagi nak lekat masuk. So kitorang pun tinggalkan la perangkap tu.
Jadi bila aku masuk dapur nak masak, aku dapat la tengok perangkap tu dgn dua ekor lipas kat tepi tu. Masalahnye ialah, aku jadi belas kasihan pulak kat lipas tu. Aku memang takut lipas. Aku geli, aku takut. Aku pernah kata kat Din, aku rela jumpe hantu dari jumpa lipas, di mana itu mungkin satu statement yang agak extreme dan ditokok-tambah. Kalau lipas tu mati terus, takpa. Ni tak mati, dia terlekat kat perangkap tu. Do you know a cockroach can live up to 2 weeks without the head? So u can imagine, lipas tu memang tak mati la terlekat dalam perangkap tu a few days. Oleh sebab aku sangat belas kasihan kat lipas tu, aku pun pi letak koko krunch sikit dlm perangkap tu. Then i feel stupid. Ah, takkan aku nak bela lipas sebagai binatang kesayangan plak kan. At last aku amik spray lipas, spray dalam perangkap tu dan buang semuanya. There, you are out of your misery, cockroaches. I have to kill you. Rest in peace.
Orang kata, jangan suka-suka bunuh binatang masa pregnant. Itu aku ok, because i do have some respect towards animals. I love animals. Aku tak kisah tu, sebab aku mmg tak bunuh binatang sesuka hati (kecuali kalau semut tu lawan tokey kan. Depan mata aku nak makan dia bleh nak join sekali. mmg aku kenyet la ko semut). Tapi aku anggap lipas ni sebagai threat. Sebagai threat terhadap keselamatan aku even. Sebab aku mmg akan menjerit dan lari kelam kabut bila nampak lipas. Aku memang dah tak ingat perut aku besar cam rumah ni, memang aku akan berlari macam Hussein Bolt (go figure). Jantung aku plak akan berdegup sangat laju. So i think its dangerous for me. Kalau aku lari pastu terjatuh ke? Atau aku lari pastu terus nak terberanak ke? Bahaya la aku rasa. Jadi, perang terhadap lipas akan terus berlarutan. I consider it a threat to me. Mereka mesti pupus dari rumah aku.
Tapi aku memang senang kesian la skang. Leceh btol. Semalam aku gi makan. Pastu tak jauh dari tempat makan aku, aku nampak ada seekor kucing yang kurus. Aku fikir, kenapa la takda orang nak kasi dia makan ni. Padahal tak jauh sangat dari restoran makan tu. Kurus je dia, baring sorang-sorang nak tido, takut-takut je dia tengok orang. I have an immediate feeling to go buy some cat food kat 7-11 tu and give the cat. Tapi masa tu aku dengan Din. Kang dia kata bini dia ni awal sangat belum beranak dah meroyan ni....susah plak. Lagipun masa tu nak melawat kawan dia sakit. Jadi nak cepat. Aku ni jenis tak hirau orang. Kalau aku sorang memang aku dah bagi dia makan. So aku pendamkan je. Jalan lepas je dari kucing tu, aku terteleng-teleng tengok dia terbaring. So now, aku teringat-ingat kat kucing kurus tu. Godamit!...arghhh! I hope he's given some chance to live happily.
Tu masalah aku skang. Aku senang kesian. Pastu aku akan teringat2. Leceh ko tau! Leceh!
Anyway....
Last nite peanut has a series of hiccup. Aku tengah tgk tv. Pastu aku pegang perut. Then i feel there's a light 'henjut' kat perut aku. Very light. Continous. Rhythmic. Din pun ada rasa. Hehehe...peanut tengah hiccup la tu. Dulu tak boleh rasa. Sekarang dah besar gini, memang boleh rasa la kan. Mesti dia tension hiccup-hiccup ni. Anak sedara aku umur 7 bulan, si Haykal tu, kalau hiccup moody habis.
Oh, tomorrow we have a date to see peanut. Our weekly checkup. Till next time.
Hyenas....
World Cup dah nak habis. I've enjoyed the times. I've enjoyed the times when we fell asleep on the couch and let the tv watch us sleeping. Tapi kebanyakan masa aku akan dihalau masuk tidur lebih awal. Bapak baby marah aku tido lambat. He said i need rest and baby need to sleep. Tanak bising-bising. Oh well...
As predicted, the only teams left are the giants. Some giants left early, surprisingly. My team, Portugal lost quite early too. My team lost to Din's team, Espana. Ampeh, kalah dengan team laki aku plak tu....hahah. And now im keeping an open mind. Although i kind'a support Espana now, i think Germany is really strong. They have strong defence and attack. Netherlands, they say has the chance to hold the cup for 4 years now. They were quite strong last 2 years in Euro Cup. They might have the chance actually. But i dont support them.
But there are talks about this years game. They say that some game are 'bought'. I thought thats impossible. I mean this is World Cup we talking about. Those things cant happen. You cant buy game in WC. This is not Liga Perdana! But its kind'a weird how the Argentines can lost 0-4 to the Germans. Its too much. I mean its already the semis ok. Only the best teams left. They cant lost that much. And Messi looks dumb suddenly...and there's also rumors that The Maradona actually owe's the government 159 million in taxes. He needs money. So it is a funky rumor...you know.
Anyway....
Aku dah 33 minggu dan 6 hari skang, pregnancy aku. Ah, kire 34 minggu la kan. Jadi secara teorinya, aku ada 6 minggu lagi. 6 minggu dan 1 hari. Berat dah ni. Aku nak berjalan pun dah payah. Dulu aku selalu kata, kenapa orang pregnant jalan macam tu. Cam penguin gitu kan....was just wondering that time. But now hamik ko, aku pun berjalan camtu...hahhaha. Aku dah naik dalam 11kg skang. Dari 51kg, kepada 62kg lebih skang. You cant help it. Dulu masa 6 bulan, 7 bulan aku jalan ok lagik. Laju jek aku jalan. Dah la perut aku memang memboyot ke depan. Jauh ke depan ok perut aku....haha. Skang ni memang tak leh laju-laju. Aku nak masuk 8 bulan dah, berat. Kalau aku cam laju sket, dia rasa sengal kat bawah tu. Setiap kali kaki melangkah, ko kena shift weight ko ke kaki itu. So nampak la macam ko memang menekan kaki tu ke lantai cos you're shifting the weight to that leg. So nampak la cam penguin. You look like a walking bell....kiri-kanan-kiri-kanan....hahaha.
Orang kata kalau nak senang bersalin normal, rajin-rajin la berjalan. Berjalan yer? Bunyik cam senang kan? Ko ingat senang nak berjalan bile dah berat cam gajah ni? Tunggu la kot time baby dah engage kat pelvic bone aku kan. Memang kalah la penguin. Penguin tengok pun tabik tuan la.
Well now i feel like i've fallen in love with life all over again. Dulu cam ko ada routine kehidupan kan. Pergi kerja, balik kerja, makan, tido, berak. Now aku still jugak la bwat benda-benda tu lagi kan....cuma with a different feeling. Bila aku nampak matahari bersinar cantik....aku cam seronok. Like aku tak sabar nak baby kuar and let him feel and see the sun. Bila ada awan cantik biru, i wanna show baby how big and blue the sky is. Bila ada rainbow, aku rasa aku nak tunjuk kat dia. Bila ada bunyi burung yang hinggap kat beranda rumah aku, aku jadi excited...and i say "Baby, you hear that. Tu la bunyi burung". Bila aku tengok ada padang besar, aku nak kasi budak ni lari laju2 kat padang tu nanti....
You know....stuff like that. So many things to show and teach a little kid. I'll never look at simple things in life....the same way again. And no, i dont want to think about the sleepless nights and tiring days yet...nope.
Till next time folks...
Hyenas....
Hyenas.
Im in my 28th week. That would be in the 6 months. 3rd trimester. The last trimester. Cepat betul. Cepat cepat pun, memang 9 bulan la kan. Kau jadi gajah la kalau nak pregnant lama-lama. Setahun lebih tau gajah pregnant....dekat 2 tahun aku rasa. Aku tak tipu neh! And be rest assured, 85% of my post will be related to pregnancy and babies now....hehe.
Truthfully im never a fan of kids and babies, before. I dont hate them, dont get me wrong. Its just that, i dont coo around them, i dont melt around them, i dont become all excited and jumpy around them, and i dont have the feeling that i have to connect to them. Kalau budak-budak buat hal, i'll be calling their moms rather than memujuk. They have their own moms for god sake....isnt it? But now, i see babies and i feel a flutter in my stomach. And i love to see them smile and laugh. Give kids chocolates and see they smile ear to ear. Nampak gigi kecik-kecik putih tu, atau nampak gusi yang merah-merah....cam anak sedara aku yang 6 bulan tu. Humang haihh....comelnye. Kulit lembut gila, yang kita jangan mimpi la nak dapat. Kau pakai losyen yang dibuat daripada tahi platipus yang berharga ribu-ribuan sebotol pun tak dapat dah kulit camtu. (platipus is endangered species. some of platipuses family have already extinct)
My god, what the heck is that?...haha. I never had that feeling before. Is that what they call maternal instinct? Its the hormones! It makes me feel all sappy and soft too. Hati jadi lembut macam biskot meri yang kau cicah dalam Melo, pastu kau ralit tengok tv...pastu dia jadi lembek....hahaha. Bagus betul perumpamaan aku. Cikgu Bahasa Melayu pun tak terfikir camni tau! Usually im not sappy la. But nowadays i feel so sappy....its suffocating.
Sappy how? Like hati jadi cam lembut gitu. Dulu kalau kena marah, aku mungkin akan menjawab gak sedikit sebanyak. Tapi sekarang, kena marah je aku rasa sedih. Sampai nak nangis. Asyik nak merajuk je, i feel its ridiculous. Penat la akak camni. Tu kadang-kadang bila merajuk aku dok diam je layan perasaan sendiri...takot laki aku pun penat kang nak memujuk. Dia pun ada hal lain gak kan. Its a good thing that i realize ini semua perubahan disebabkan hormon dan pembawakan budak. Aku tak mahu terlalu mengikut perasaan.
Pastu kalau ada berita-berita buang baby dalam paper, hati aku down je. My heart really goes to the little helpless baby yang tidak diberi peluang langsung. Dia pergi buang darah daging dia sendiri! Padahal dulu aku tak la rasa cam sekarang. Dulu kalau ada berita baby kena buang, aku maki mak bapak budak tu....then i let it go. But now, this kind of news stays in my head for some time. Aku sangat simpati, kesian sangat dekat baby tu, sometimes to the point of teary eyes...dia kena tahan gigitan semut semua. Aku teringat kat anak aku...betapa bertuahnya kamu peanut. Lahir kamu dinanti-nanti. Mak bapak tak sabar nak curahkan kasih sayang dan berikan didikan sempurna. Belum lahir lagi, mak bapak dia dah rancang yang terbaik untuk dia. Tapi baby yang kena buang tu....... =(
Pastu kalau tengok movie-movie sedih, haihh...jangan cakap la kan. Memang diam-diam dan panic, mengelap air mata secara discreet. Cemana boleh nangis ni....bukan sedih sangat pun.
And also, its weird...now that im in third trimester, i feel sad that im gonna give birth soon. Normalkah? I feel sad that baby is leaving my body. I will miss his little kicks and flutter. I will miss this little human being inside me. Tapi mak aku kata....tunggu la 8 bulan nanti. Masa tu dah berat macam ape, you will wish nothing more than baby to leave your body. Hahaha.... yer la tu kan. But for this time being, i have some sadness that baby is leaving my body. Whenever i feel baby's movement, i smile and its very comforting. Lebih-lebih lagi dia tak pernah susahkan aku dgn aktiviti dia. Dia akan bermain bola sepak pada masa-masa tertentu sahaja. Dia takkan kacau time aku tido.....sebab dia pun sama tido malam. I hope peanut will continue this great timetable.
Sappy-sappy pun, World Cup sudah mahu mareyy....hahha. Aku cam biasa....sokong Portugal. Second team aku ialah Espana...hehe. Orang kata, apehal kau sampai ada dua team. Oh biasa....aku mmg selalu sokong dua team. Untuk mengurangkan kekecewaan. Satu team kalah, ada lagi satu kan....hahaha. Anyway, walaupun Portugal skang agak suam-suam kuku berbanding masa ada Figo dulu, baju merah-hijau tu jugak akan aku pakai nanti. Eh, jap.....dem, baju tu dah tak padan!
Pregnancy is a weird duration in a woman's life. Really. So many changes. Suddenly your hair grows slower (or faster), your tummy got bigger, you feel hungry always, you gain weight, you have little human living in you, the little human kicks and make your body vibrate, certain part of your body swell, then you feel pain in some parts of your body...isnt it weird? Well, bende-benda tu biasa kan? Simptom-simptom perempuan mengandung. Ala, bengkak-bengkak semua, weight gain, sakit pinggang. But i bet some of you didnt know about other weird changes that happen. There are many other weird changes and one of it, is dreams.
During my pregnancy period, i have funky dreams. Tapi sblm pregnant pun aku selalu mimpi merapu meraban. Aku pernah mimpi jumpa kumpulan Westlife la (no, i'm never a fan of westlife) and the guys fall in love with me, i dreamt i chase an aeroplane, aku mimpi jumpe Kardashian sisters (in my dream, they are witches), aku mimpi kena kejar zombie dalam shopping mall....semua merapu kan.
Time pregnant ni, aku masih mimpi bende pelik-pelik, tapi sangatlah real ok. Vivid, lively, very detail dreams. Mimpi yang sangat detail, i can remember the colours, the scenes. Memang aku ada certain issues yang ada aku fikir sepanjang pregnancy ni, tapi takde la sampai aku depress ke, sampai terbawak dalam mimpi. Tapi bila aku fikir balik, mimpi-mimpi ni cam ada kaitan dengan issue-issue yang aku fikir.
Aku pernah a few times mimpi pasal perempuan lain. Aku mimpi Hubby aku kenalkan aku dengan sorang perempuan lain. Dalam mimpi tu aku emo gila. Tak lama pastu, aku mimpi perempuan lain lagi. Tapi kali ni aku mimpi aku belasah perempuan tu sampai puas hati. Well....hehehe, time aku pregnant, aku ada rasa tak cantik. Aku pernah risau figure aku lari, aku jadi gemuk. Aku takot aku pakai baju pun nampak cam pakai khemah atau payung terjun. Tapi sekarang aku tak rasa camtu dah. Banyak lagi benda lain aku kena fikir. And we have a wonderful relationship, me and Din. So aku rasa mimpi tu cam subconcious mind aku, risaukan Din cari perempuan lain.....tsk, i know, silly. But even if he does, i will do exactly like what i dreamt of =)
Aku pernah mimpi, jahitan appendix aku pecah sebab perut aku besar. In reality, aku punya appendix kena kerat masa aku umur 6 tahun. Dalam mimpi tu aku selamba pegang perut aku, darah membuak-buak. Isi perut aku nak terkeluar dah....hahhaa. Tapi aku kata kat semua org, siap aku angkat tangan kat atas, aku kata, "jangan risau, nak gi jahit dah ni". Aku pun gi hospital, nak jahit balik. This one, aku rasa berakar umbi dari ketakutan aku terhadap pregnancy ni. Aku takot aku ada complications yang membahayakan diri dan anak aku.
Ha, ada lagi satu mimpi yang hampir sama dengan yang ni. Dalam mimpi ni aku nangis gaban. Aku rasa aku nangis real gak time tu, sebab bantal aku cam basah. Aku mimpi, aku gi jumpe doktor. Scan baby semua. I still remember i can see the baby in the monitor. Pastu doktor tu geleng-geleng kepala. Aku dah risau gila. Doktor tu kata baby takda harapan. Aku nangis gila tergolek-golek dalam hospital tu. Takleh terima kenyataan langsung. Aku tanya doktor kenapa takda harapan? Doktor tu jawab, baby ni ada kurap. Ada kurap atas kepala dia. Pastu lagi la aku nangis menonggeng. Bila aku bangun, aku jadi gelak tergolek-golek plak. Bodoh doktor dalam mimpi aku ni. Sekolah tepi longkang gamaknye. Boleh plak baby ada kurap dalam perut, pastu takde harapan plak tu. Tapi bila aku bukak mata je, lega yang amat cos its just a dream. It was so very real sampai aku syukur gila itu hanya mimpi. My baby is safe, healthy and fine inside me. It stems from my worries about the health of my baby. Am i eating enough? Is he getting enough nutrient? Normal ke dia? Sihat ke dia? I wish i can know now...
I also dream that i gave birth to quadruplet. Gila ko, kembar 4. Tiga laki, satu pempuan. Aku ingat lagi, baby-baby tu sume kecik-kecik je. Besar kucing gitu kot. Pastu bleh plak aku mimpi sampai budak-budak tu dah besar. Gila fast forward. Yang anak lelaki nakal, selalu buli yang perempuan. Din plak selalu pujuk and dukung yang pempuan tu sebab dia selalu kena buli. I think this one stems from my worries about taking care of our kids. Can we do it? Are we able to take care of our kids? Will they be a good child dan berguna pada bangsa, ingat pada agama? Argh...besar tanggungjawab tu. Tapi aku tengok semua orang pun ada anak, semua orang pun didik anak. We will mold our kids like we want, i'll make sure of that.
Then aku pernah mimpi aku menyiasat kehilangan batu permata kat satu hotel 6 star. It was so real. Cari-cari...pelik tu, aku siap boleh tanya orang hotel pasal pakej perkahwinan plak dah. Pastu last-last aku jumpa baru permata tu tersembunyi kat dia punya patung hiasan kat lobi. Then aku bawak batu permata tu gi bus stop, nak belek kat situ. This one, is just a confusion in me. Ni masa early pregnancy dulu. Masa ni aku punya fikiran dan emosi tidak stabil langsung.....hahaha.
I did some research that say quite a number of pregnant woman have vivid and real dreams. Its because of the extreme changes on their body, the hormones, the strong emotions. Oh well....things are getting better now. We'll see what more dreams i will have. Its like my sleep entertainment. I have entertainment while i sleep....cool or what? ;)
Till next time.
Hyneas...
Some of my married friends have busy husbands. Like, many of 'em. Cam aku gak. Cam laki aku. Its frustrating sometimes. And it has a pattern y'know. The busy guys are usually in the networking fields and programming side.
My husband is a busy guy. He is in the networking field. As you all know (or if u dont know), networking is a critical aspect in todays business. Plak tu network ni, tak pasal-pasal suke je down. Cam ada mood plak network nih. And then if there is no network, no communications, no transaction....all goes down. Kaput. So wey, korang imagine la kalo tiba2 network down, betapa busynye laki aku....waarrgghhhh!! Kalo tiba-tiba takde hujan takde ribut Katrina, 30 node down....involves network Malaysia ni tau, bukan network account-account tu je. Telefon tu kalo tak bunyi maksudnye dah kong la. Selagi hidup, selagi tu la berbunyi. Pastu dia balik kol 7 pagi keesokannya! Apa kau nak kata?
Nak marah ke ape? Aku kan....nak marah, ringan la mulut nak marah. Tapi bile aku tengok muka dia penat....(aku at least bleh tido, dia tu berjaga sepanjang malam), aku jadi cam tak sampai hati wohh. Instead, i tell my baby in my tummy...."Abah keje kuat. Semalam dia tak balik sebab keje. Untuk kite jugak tau."
I hope the baby understand...and pray for his abah. Then peanut gave me one soft push in the stomach. Baby is listening.... =)
Din is a manager. Manager ni ada sorang je tau untuk satu team. Anak-anak buah ada la ramai. So aku nak kata ape, kalau dia kata manager team kena ada kat site. Siapa lagi kalau bukan dia. Dah atas dahi dia ada cop manager. Responsibility ni kadang kala sucks juga. Kalo ada tak kena....ko kena ler menjawab.
Tapi, aku sure.....husbands yang busy ni, they want nothing more than to stay at home with their wife and kids....atau bermain golf (roll eyes). Think about it, its better than anything, im sure. But, somehow...they are stuck there for many reason. Variety of reasons. Daripada work delegation yg lemah, kepada kurang tenaga mahir, kepada kelemahan sususan organisasi....atau juga memang ada problem yang tak boleh nak elak. Like, memang dah nak jadi problem gitu. We can just hope they will overcome the problem la....kire tak berterusan. In the meantime, our husbands have to work and pay for it all.
And im sure, husbands do try their best to juggle work and home.....oh, and maybe golf (roll eyes). Sometimes you can see their effort....like dodging calls =D (alahai, kantoi tak?). Tapi sampai bile kan? We can just hope things change. Or maybe they will do something about it....before we, go burn their offices down =D.
As for my husband, i have patience still. I know he's trying his best to juggle time. And as bengang as i am, i appreciate him too. Lets be patience....and hope for the best. Till next time folks...x0x0
Hyenas....
Gloomy day today. Hari ini adalah hari emo tanpa sebab. Hari ni gloomy dari pagi hingga ke petang. Ada hujan-hujan. Not a pretty and happy day. This is like Ireland. Yes, that place is like this....gloomy all the time. Hard to see a ray of sunshine.
Im fighting boredom...and im not sure who's winning.
Aku sebenarnye takde idea nak tulis ape la sekarang ni....haha. Adik aku ada cakap, kalau tatau nak kata ape, dok diam. Eh, kecoh betul kan.
Well, i dont mean to talk about pregnancy all the time. But as an expecting mother, you cant help it. Especially when the little jumping peanut is dancing in your stomach, right now!....hahah. I think baby peanut just did a round-house kick inside here. Kuat tuh. Terkejut aku. Bergegar la perut kan. Whats a round-house kick? Search la senang....susah aku nak cakap. Orang yg berkecimpung dalam kickboxing je yg tau (eleh, kickboxing setakat sebulan lebih je dah kecoh kan).
Its weird when i always tell my baby...."c'mon peanut, give momma one strong kick. the strongest you can do...."
Because when this little peanut is already outside and growing....and then he kicks you one day, lain jadinya. Takpe la...masa dalam perut ni la aku nak dia kick. Bila dah kuar, dia kick aku lagi....memang berbirat la peha dia.
So how does it feels when a baby moves? Ada orang kata rase geli-geli. Mana ada la wey! Geli cemana ntah....geli cam org geletek tapak kaki kau ke? Ahhahaha...aku rasa nak kentut ada aaa. Tapi tak kentut. Cos its not gas at all. Baby punya keje derrr. Its feels almost like bowel movement. Thats the soft moves. Maybe he's like stretching gitu....or dia pusing guling2 ke. There is also the tapping moves. Its like he taps your stomach, and u can feel the soft taps. Maybe he punch softly or....i dunno. Then there is THE kick!...haha. This one is exciting. There was one time, aku tengah nak bayar syampu aku kat Guardian. Baby is happy i guess. So dia gerak-gerak....guling-guling (the bowel movement feeling). Then suddenly he gave a one round-house kick which im not ready of, which then makes my body jerk forward. Cashier tu pun terkejut and pandang aku pelik. Tapi oleh sebab aku jenis selambayaya, aku pun pandang dia balik dgn muka 1 sen yg sudah tak valid lagi tu....hahaha.
I really wish Din can feel his movements too.... =)
Pregnant woman can look frumpy easily. They can look selekeh so easily. Cos usually we prefer comfortable clothes. And comfortable clothes usually means t-shirt and sweat pants. If only we can go out just in that get-ups. Tapi itu dah selekah tahap ko tayah kuar rumah la senang. Pulak tu badan plak cam berbahang. Kena cari kain yang nipis dan selesa.
Aku punya seluar sume sudah tak padan. Aku memerlukan seluar maternity. Kebanyakan seluar maternity pula adalah sangat ugly. Nak yang cantik, memang mahal. Pakaian ruji aku plak ialah seluar jeans and t-shirt. Tu belum masuk bra yang dah tak padan. Kena beli baru gak. Beli yang murah dan tak elok, sakit pulak kang. Jadi, aku pun bwat la muka sedih dan manja-manja kat Din, mintak seluar maternity dan bra baru. Lalu terus dapat seluar jeans Topshop and bra La Senza....hahhaa.
Terima kasih la kat suami saya yg supportive itu.
Aku bukan nak bergaya ape. Aku bukan bergaya mana pun. Gaya aku selalu ala-ala selekeh tapi smart. Aku tak pernah dressy-dressy sakan, glitter-glitter gitu. Aku cuma nak nampak elok mata memandang, cos like i say pregnant woman can look frumpy easily. So I bought dalam 2, 3 helai seluar maternity elok, di mana aku akan melunyaikan mereka selama baki 4 bulan ini. Takde la nanti anak aku tengok gamba aku pregnant, the he said, "mama, u look like gramma."
Oh peanut...u broke my heart....hahaha.
Well, till next time folks. By then i hope i have a good material to publish...hehe. x0x0
Hello hye-nas......lama kan aku tak post pape?
Im at office. New office. No more EDS (refuse to call HP, eventho EDS is under HP now). I miss EDS......*sigh. What i miss abt EDS? The people and the environment. Oh, the abundant friends i have! Bila petang je, ada je la orang ajak gi minum kan. The team has a very good relationship.....we actually develop friendship =), not only being colleagues. And we say hai and greet each other. And we dont dissappear in our cubicle and work to oblivion. We laugh and we talk about every other things in this world. We listen to music and humming slowly to the music. It has a light and cool environment. Oh, and the traffic. Traffic jam is minimal in Cyberjaya. It is shift job...i have my night shift....but.....i dunno. I have a lot to smile about my old place.
This new place, ACS Damansara Tropicana - in terms of work, its ok. Its not very hard, but im learning new things (tho it deviates from computer security - my previous job). It seems like the work is properly documented and systematic. I have my own brand new laptop (which sometimes i forgot to bring to work...which is so silly of me....which means i have to go back home to get it, which then makes me fuming). Its nearer to home, which means less toll and less fuel (but traffic jam la....gotta find certain times when there are less cars on the road). Its normal hours (no shift), which means i can be home and cook for my hubby and sleep on my bed instead of on my desk. Its flexible. And oh, i can work from home! There will be 2, or 3 days where i can work from home and jaga rumah. Which means more expenses saved and more time to kemas rumah. And this place has contractual bonus....not including performance bonus. Lepas la jugak insurance kereta aku kan....and did i tell u the parking is huge and here have a lot of place to eat, just around 5-7 minutes drive.
BUT.....the place....haihhh. The people dissapear once they sit on their chair. I've been here for more than 2 weeks already, and i didnt recognize anybody....not even the one who work 2 desk away from me. Cos they dont talk, they dont really smile, they dont walk around and say hi, they stare at their screen and their only screen. Sometimes i think the only laughing voice here is mine, and my friend Su. But all is not bad....i have severel friends already with me. I have my buddy from old office EDS, Su, who is also new, same team also. So, not too bad. Have some old friends at other department, Ila, Bort. But still, environment is different.
I cant work to oblivion. Im not that kind of person. If i happen to be that way....i will end up being angry and moody and i will eat my laptop. But Farin, dont be childish! This is work. And work only! I still have friends elsewhere.
This is strictly my work-life only.
Thank god i still have a few group of friends whom i love to keep and hate to lose =)
Other than that, nothing new from me. Pregnancy is at 4 and a half month. Baby is moving. Not kicking yet tho, atau aku yg belum boleh rasa, tatau la. Dia cuma golek-golek, berenang-renang ke tepian, stretching-stretching. But its tiring. Baby moving makes me tired. Tapi takpe. Bile baby bergerak, aku rasa lega. Bile tak bergerak, aku kacau dia....tepuk-tepuk, golek-golek perut sampai dia bangun....hahaha. Mesti dia tension. Perut is obvious now. Tapi org cakap tak besar mana. Ila cakap maybe sebab aku tinggi. So baby ada banyak ruang. So perut tak besar. Tatau la tu kan, tapi makes sense tak? Kan? Pastu urat-urat aku rasa bersimpul-simpul ok. Belakang dah lenguh, punggung lenguh, and peha aku rasa nak terkehel je. Urat peha kadang-kadang rasa sengal lain macam. Tapi tu semua bende kecik je =). And i love my alone time with my baby peanut. I sing to peanut, i selawat, i pray and talk. Tapi paling lama pun dalam 30 minit je la. Its hard ok!...when you are only talking to yourself (eventho you intend to talk to the baby). I have started exercising. I do brisk walking and we'll see if i can continue swimming. And baby-daddy, Din also join me. All is ok....dan aku sangat bersyukur aku takde masalah masa mengandung ni.
Till next time.....x0x0.
Hyenas.....
Was tagged by manchett. So aku pun dah lama tak tulis satu habuk pun kat sini. so ape la kirenye aku manjawab soalan-soalan inesen di bawah....
1)Adakah anda rasa anda hot?
Hot ape ehh? Panas ke? Tak, skang tak panas. Sebab ada aircond. Hot as in hot babe? Aku tak rasa la kot. Tapi aku juga tak rasa aku ugly....hahaha. I just feel fine. Hot tempered?.....yg ini ya. Have always tried to stay out of trouble and issues with people all my life...cos if i'm in one, temper unleashed....susah. And as many people should know, do not make a pregnant woman angry =D....(sengih sket).
2)Upload gambar kegemaran anda.
banyak aa yg aku suke....takde satu bende pun kat dunia ni yang bleh masuk sebagai satu-satunya bende yang aku suke....
3) Bila kali terakhir anda makan pizza?
hmmm....kadang-kadang makan gak. lebih-lebih lagi dengan tabasco tu kan. dalam sebulan lebih gitu kot. sejak-sejak ada budak dalam perut ni, aku sangat-sangat mengurangkan fast food. bukan mengurangkan. mmg tak makan la selama 4 bulan ni. I choose my food...................dem, now i want pizza.
4) Lagu terakhir anda dengar?
Placebo - Bright lights. Dah la diorg nak datang nanti ni. So aku nak dengar kasi lebam.....sampai aku dah jadi tak heran dengan Placebo.....haha.
5) Ape anda buat selain menyelesaikan tag ini
Korek Hidung
6) Selain nama sendiri anda dipanggil nama ape?
family aku panggil ain, kawan-kawan panggil farin, parin.....laki aku panggil aku macam-macam nama......anak nanti panggil aku mama.....hehehe.
7) Tag lagi 8 orang
well.....sebab aku nak menjawab soalan ni punya pasal kan....so aku tag nama di bawah. kebanyakan nama-nama yang dah lama tak membelog....berminggu-minggu dan berbulan-bulan juga. kamon pepel....!
1-atul
2-roin
3-marini
4-farrah ahmad
5-farah ahmad
6-gina banana
7-.............
8-................ok, apparently aku tak cukup nama yg menarik untuk di letak di sini.....huhuuh. manchett, ila, korang nak bwat balik tak?....aahahha.
8) Siapakah orang no 1 kepada anda?
hhhhmmm.....i have many important people in my life. i cant choose one. if i have to choose, i choose myself......hahahah. Gile vain. But really, i cant choose....susah. laki aku bleh jadi, mak bapak aku leh jadi....so, susah la kan.
9) Kata sesuatu kepada orang no 5
hi farah....jumpe di opis nanti....hahaha.
10) No. 3 ada hubungan dengan siapa?
si marini tu dah kawin dah....dia berhubungan dgn laki dia la tu....hahaha.
11) Bagaimana pula dengan no 4?
farrah? berhubungan dengan siapa? she's now single mingle and having fun....and busy too.
12) Pesanan kepada org no 6?
lina.....she's got it all covered. tayah pesan-pesan.....heehe. baru lepak dgn dia baru ni....
13) Kata-kata cinta untuk no 2?
roin? kata-kata cinta?.....belajar rajin-rajin?
14) Adakah no 7 & 8 punye persamaan?
a'ah....dua-dua list kosong....hahaha
15) Berikan 5 yang anda tahu tentang orang yg men`tag anda?
ok, ok....senang nih.....
1.nama dia marlina manja....*percaya tak?....ekekekek. orang panggil dia mancet. aku suke je eja jadi manchett.
2.lakinye nama khair....kaher, kaher orang panggil dia.
3.anak dia nama aidan basil....bulan depan anak dia nak setahun dah
4.dulu sebilik dgn aku kat MMU.
5.pernah gaduh dengan dia....hahhahah....tapi sebab kami manusia cool, lepak semula.
6.dia ada rumah baru....tapi aku tak gi lagi umah dia....
eh, dah 6 pulak.........
16) persamaan antara kambing dan lembu?
tahinye busuk.....
17) Adakah anda tahu si Razman itu sengal?
razman mana ni wey? majistret? lawyer?...........
18) Gay or less?
aku gay....im always gay. you're not gay? too bad....
Kepada minah yang tag saya ni, ntah bile tah nak jumpe kan. Cakap je banyak...hahahhaha. Jom jom.....kite pi makan-makan. Esplanade bes ke? Ada byk tempat makan best ni....kite je tak explore.
Helo... =)
After some time, you will want to talk about your pregnancy. Lagipun kawan-kawan pun banyak tanye. How do i feel? Ada ngidam? Cemana bleh pregnant?....hahahha. For the question cemana bleh pregnant tu....god help you la. Budak umur 9 tahun pun tau kot....hahaha. Tapi pape pun, ianya dengan izin Allah swt.
Pregnancy is 9 months roughly and its divided into trimesters. 1st trimester, 2nd and 3rd.
Masa my first 3 months (1st timester), it was very tiring. Energy seems drained, eventhough you dont do anything much. It seems more obvious when i was walking around in shopping complex. Usually, i can go around the mall, looking for stuff....for hours and hours. But during the first trimester, i cant do that. No energy. And im hungry every two hours. And the hunger is intense. U gotta eat, or you'll puke (sbb masuk angin). But eventho i eat like every two hours, my weight do not add up too much. I guess my metabolism is still playing its part. And also my emotion a bit off during fist trimester. Emosi sedikit tidak stabil. Sometimes i acted up....buruk btol. But it was fine...no morning sicknes, no puking. Things were fine.
That was first timester. Now, i am 15 weeks pregnant, second trimester has just started. Second trimester biasanya semakin baik, biasanya la. Tengok orang. Aku pun tatau macam mana aku ni. I feel fine now. Tiada alah still(yet...huhuuh). Energy is back (but not as strong as before of course), emotions all cool. Appetite is good. I feel healthy. Nothing to complain now (yet...huhuuh).
Oh, mengidam! I dont really ngidam. Cuma teringin kot....haha, ke sama? Tapi kan, skang aku tak sampai hati nak cakap aku teringin nak makan pape. Sebab bila aku cakap, nanti bapak aku, suami aku, semua pergi cari. Cam hari tu, aku cakap kat Din, aku nak makan daging. I want western style red meat steak, or beef ribs. Masa tu kitorang baru je balik ke KL dari Kelantan yang memakan masa selama 10 jam (normal la tu....sbb Din ni newbie balik kelantan...hehe). Straight after that, we went out to eat at Chilli's. I feel guilty cos i know he was tired. Then the other day, i said i would like to eat pengat pisang. Aku nak makan yang mak aku buat. Pengat mak aku gak complete sedapnya, manis lemak, wangi dia. Pastu bapak aku pergi la mencari pisang merata-rata. Masa tu CNY, orang belum berjual. Sekali lagi rasa guilty. Aku rasa aku malas la nak melayan 'teringin' aku ni. Kesian plak kat bapak aku, kat Din.
Kesian kat aku? Ah, aku nyer teringin ni tak payah kesian kot. Aku kenyang je....cume mengada-ngada nak makan tu sume. Cuma tengok la....kalau aku betul-betul nak makan pape, kena la carik kot....eheh.
My stomach is obviously growing. But not too obvious. Obvious to me tho. My waistline is expanding.....hehe. Yesterday i went for a checkup and a sonogram. I can see Peanut! He is a few inches long. Peanut has heartbeat (very tiny heart!), head, hands and legs. Peanut even has tiny spine that is not yet long to cover until the butt. The spine is still halfway down the back. Suddenly i gasp while on the ultrasound, cos he moves! I can see he was like nodding and moving his hands and legs. Berjoget yer dia....hahha. That was a nice sight. I cant take it out of my mind and it makes me smile everytime i remember him dancing in me.
And we dont know Peanut's gender yet...
And once you see the baby, you will want to see him everyday. You will miss the baby. You wanna do ultrasound every single day. You see adorable baby clothes, you will melt all over the floor. You have 'sucker' (senang cair) written on your forehead. Sucker for baby clothes, sucker for toys, sucker for cute blankets, sucker for baby's toilettries. But i dont buy yet, i refrain myself. Its not very good, i heard. The baby has a long way to go. We'll buy later.
Self control is important to me. I do not want to be controlled by hormones or unstable emotions. I want to control myself with my head and make my time an enjoyable one. So far, Alhamdulillah, all is cool and dandy.
Till next time......
Hyenas....Read below statement....
Whatever u give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will give u a baby. Give her a house, she will give u a home. Give her groceries, she will give u a meal. Give her a smile n she will give u her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if u give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit... Post it on your wall if u agree~ And I agree! :D
This statement has been going around in facebook. I didnt post it on my wall, cos i dont agree. I think this is a very one-sided statement...maybe lame too. Like the girl is so desperate to prove she's so strong. And the point is? But this is very one sided...cos it somehow shows that this world is all about women. Too vain....i am vain, but this statement is too vain. Women and man need each other.
I dont know, im a woman, a pregnant woman...my body is hosting another human being. But still i dont agree with this. I dont think im superior at all. My man provides so much things that we build together and call it as home. We provide each other. So i dont like this kind of statement. This statement comes from someone who doesnt know what is a relationship between man and women.
*Chuckle* This is lame. Anyway....moving on....
Do you think guys should take care of their skin? I think they should. So the other day Din bought his skincare. Aku plak yang excited. Skincare is seasonal for him. When he think his skin is a bit off, then he buy. If it finishes, then he forgets all about it. You see, he's out in the sun a lot (golf!), so his skin needs tender-loving-care. I've made it compulsory for him to wear sunscreen.....cos skin cancer is not fun.
So went with him to choose his facial wash and moisturizer. Cos he has no clue what to get. Well me, i know whats in those things and what we need. What is salicylic acid, whats benzoyl peroxide, whats which hazel, whats tea tree, whats SPF, whats titanium dioxide, what is kaolin, whats sodium laureth sulfate, whats glycerine.......and also, where are the stated ingredients in the list of ingredients. Is it listed as the first ingredient, second, middle, or last in the list?
So i choose for him and he started using it. Then suddenly he came out of the bathroom smelling awesome and then i saw something...
"whats that on you face?"
"ni moisturiser la," dia jawab dengan penuh confident. "eh, pakai moisturiser cam ni kan?"
Then i burst out laughing. Yes, i laugh at my husband, in his face. Because dia telah melumurkan moisturiser di mukanya, cam facial wash. Dengan muka basah-basah tu, dia pi lumur habis kat muka dia....hence, what i saw - bende putih-putih kat muka dia, which is the moisturizer. Thats like...i dunno...innocent gile! I'm gonna make sure he takes care of his skin now...because i care. Sorry i tell this story, ye sayang. But i think its funny. You're still the man!...hehehh.
Anyway, a little about me....my pregnancy is fine, i think. Cos im feeling fine (gagging still there, tiredness is subsiding a bit, weight is up a bit, cant get into my tight jeans anymore....etc...normal stuff, hah). Esok pergi routine checkup and im gonna meet the "little peanut". Im dreaming of seeing his tiny hands and feet and weird big head...hehe. Peanut is still growing rapidly and i have a little baby bump now....hahaha. Have to go shopping for new clothes... =D
Till next time....x0x0
Hyenas.....
Makin lama, makin jarang saya tulis kat sini. Ntah....macam penat pun ada. There is always something to do. Always some errands to run. Like today, i have a hell lot of things to do. But....errrmm....malas...hahahha. Laki aku balik sure aku kena marah. Takpe, lepas je tulis ni, terus la aku gerak.
So many things to do. When you got married, you will undestand what tired really means. If before, you will feel tired because of your work. After you got married, mmg bertambah la kan. Kain baju nak basuh. Nak kena sidai. Kena lipat. Pastu nak masak. Beli barang nak masak. Nak basuh periuk belanga, gelas pinggan sume. Kemas katil. Sapu lantai dengan rambut gugur2 tu. Sekali sekala basuh toilet. Penat wey, aku tak tipu. Sekali sekala memang aku mengelat....haha. So, one thing you can do is, talk to your husband to help around the house a little. Better still, do the chores with your husband together.
Nowadays, lagi la aku penat. Ditakdirkan tuhan, aku dikuniakan rezeki anak almost immediately. Awal sungguh dia melekat. Actually sejak dari awal lagi aku punya instinct kata aku dah conceive (even before it is confimed). Maybe cos its happening in my body and im always very conscious of what happening with my body. And maybe because its a mother's instinct =). Aku masa tu baru nak kira period aku (aku tak pernah kira cycle aku), tengok-tengok, lekat dah. Alhamdulillah. Dua-dua orang happy. Tadi Din biasa la...dia tunjuk macho dia. Aku la melebih-lebih pasal baby ni....hahaha. Eleh, macho kunun. Kalo kitorang gaduh sket, dia gi mengadu kat baby. Macam la aku taleh dengar dia ngadu kat baby. Adorable actually....hehe.
I dont have much problem. I mean, bwat masa ni, my pregnancy is breezy dandy. Cuma sekali sekala datang kepenatan yang maha hebat. Having an awesome husband is really rewarding this time. If im tired, he would get busy in the kitchen, and in a while he would be caling me, "dinner is ready". Sayang sungguh kat dia masa tu (dan setiap masal juga). Sekali sekala jugak aku agak rasa mual. Tapi tak pernah muntah. Mual tu sebab takde makanan dalam perut. So i always have to eat someting in small quantity. Kalo tak, memang mual. Tapi aku rasa syukur gak sebab aku rasa buat masa ni, pregnancy aku agak senang. Sesetengah orang, muntah sampai kelepek takleh buat ape. Bau tu takleh, bau ni takle, pakai lipstick pun taleh. Aku dengan pregnant ni pun kecoh nak pakai mascara la, blusher la...hahaha.
Tapi aku kadang-kadang rasa perangai aku jadi pelik. Maybe eccentric also at times. Expecially bile aku penat. Jadi meragam. Sampai Din threaten nak carik videocam, nak merakam perangai aku and show the baby when he grows up....ahahaha. Threaten me eyy.
Hari tu first time pergi scan baby. Doctor predicted its 10 weeks. The fetus is 2.5cm....thats an inch long. But the doctor think its longer cos the fetus looks like...like its bending. Nevemind. Its growing rapidly in me. It has heart beat already. But not strong of course. Most of the time during the scanning, we were giggling and Din has this big smile on his face that he cant seem to wipe off.....hahahaha. Macho la kan...tersengih-sengih. The doctor ask if we want a picture of the baby.....and i said no, its ok. Later-later la.....
Dapat baby terus ni bagus gak. Sebab Din dah 30. Aku pun dah 27. Kitorang pun dah couple 7, 8 tahun koottt. We have thought about the future and we think that we dowant to grow old with litle kids. I mean, kitotang tak mahu bile dah nak pencen, anak still umur 15 ke. Pastu bile dah pencen kerje, anak pulak baru nak masuk Uni. Penat tak? Kau nak cekau duit mana kan bile dah pencen. Mungkin ada la jalannya tu. Tapi nampak macam susah sket la kot. And when we have grey hairs, we wanna relax. Bukan bekejar jaga anak, risaukan anak muda tak balik malam. We just wanna chill.
And having close friends with kids help a lot, macam Manchett, Ila. Aku banyak bertanye kat Manchett pasal pregnant ni. And she did give a lot of info. Sampai hospital pun dia kasi. Sekarang ni, diorg la yang akan jadi sifu aku...hahaha.
Anyway, jarang gak kan aku bercerita pasal aku. Sekali sekala koott....hehehe. Next post - somthing else.
Till next time
Hyenas...
Have you ever go to those eatery, where the person who prepares the food wear those plastic glove? Example, those places like sushi king, subway sandwich, crispy poppiah. Aku memang dah lama tak puas hati dengan perkara ni. Perkara di mana orang yang menyediakan makanan pakai sarung tangan plastik tu. Apa tujuan dia pakai glove tu sebenarnye?
Untuk menyediakan makanan yang bersih ke......ke untuk memastikan tangan dia yang tak kotor?
Just watch those people prepare the food. Pada mata kasar, you might think it looks hygenic, it looks proper. But if you're observant enough, you will see that they will touch every single thing with that plastic glove on. I mean, what the heck? That totally defeats the purpose....which is to be clean isnt it? They touch that tray with the plastic glove on (that tray was on top of a dirty table), they open the drawer, they pick up stuff from the floor, they open that cupboard, they turn on the sink, they touch everything with that plastic glove on. Its more like, they dont want to get their hands dirty....and its not for preparing clean food.
Just now i went to Subway Sandwich. As usual i ordered the ridiculously over-priced sandwich (what to do, mahal pun mahal la. dah suka kan...). In front of my eyes, the person who prepare the food open the oven, open that drawer, take that tray, open this, close that.....all with the same plastic glove on which she will also use to prepare my sandwich. Aku cuba memujuk hati, maybe all the handles and drawers in Subway sandwich is sanitized. But alas, she did this little scratch on her head with curly hair with the same glove on. Ok thats it.....thats it.
"Wait, can you maybe change your glove first. Thank you!"
She looked shocked...and then smile. And change her glove. I gave a smile of appreciation (she's nice actually)....and eat my sandwich thinking, these people whould really think over about their plastic glove policy. I used to work in a bakery. I used the plastic glove to prepare food too. I use it peoperly and not go touch everything with it on. Maybe some place takes cleanliness as their main concern, but there are places which is a bit.....cuai kot. Plastic glove does not mean hygenic.
Anyway......
Oh well, till next time....eheh...XoXo
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