Politik skeett...

Salam....

Nak pilihanraya ni, ramai sembang politik kot kan. Paling banyak dalam facebook aa aku tengok....hahah....aku mana la pegi kedai kopi skodeng org sembang kan.

Aku banyak observe je politik ni. Aku bukan tak amik tau langsung. Aku amik tau. Aku baca. Kekadang harakah pun aku belek kat kedai. Utusan, berita harian sume aku belek. Org cerita aku dengar. Tapi tuh la....susah untuk kite percaya semua cerita. Kawan tu kata anak menteri ni dapat tender ni la, kawan nu kata menteri ni dapat komisyen sbb beli kuda belang la...macam-macam kan. Berita tu kata camni, berita tu kata camtu. Aku ni, sebagai seorang yg sentiasa skeptikal dan berfikiran kritis, selalu tertanya-tanya.....MACAM MANA MEREKA TAHU SEMUA NI?

Adakah ini dari mulut ke mulut yang berpunca dari kedai kopi, yang tuan empunya mulut yang asal mmg sengaja mengada-adakan cerita? Atau adakah ianya dari org yang betul2 bekerja di bawah meteri itu? Ahh...politic is too dirty. Penuh dengan tipu. Media pun memang teruk. Apa yang penting, paper diorg jual. Berita mengata, dusta, fitnah sume print kasi kita baca.

Tapi kadang2 aku rasa cerita2 tu ada kebenarannya. Bukan semata-mata fitnah. Cume mungkin bukan semua. Menteri2 yang kite harapkan mmg byk corrupt. Pembangkang pun ada yang tak bleh pakai. Tapi tak semua teruk.

Aku ada baca satu blog tu, dia kata penting untuk kite bersangka baik. Jangan terus mengutuk, mengata. Aku setuju la dengan artikel tu kan. Aku pun kadang-kadang selalu mencari 'side' yang baik dalam satu2 berita tu. Jangan membezakan manusia dengan parti politik. Jangan busuk hati dengan org dari parti lain. Janganlah fanatik. Dr tulisan aku ni, aku rasa org bleh agak aku mmg atas pagar. Aku sgt skeptikal dengan semua belah. Dan aku pasan, ramai yang fanatik. Kalo korang pasan dalam facebook ada jer yang fanatik. Pantang ada topik sape-sape bangkitkan yang boleh dikaitkan politik ni, mula la emo. Pastu carut-carut and calling names. Aku rasa dia pun tak tahu dia cakap ape. Org begini senang percaya. Sbb dalam kepala otak dia dah sokong/benci satu2 parti tu...dia jadi senang percaya cerita-cerita. Pastu they keep grinding the story. benda baik satu2 parti tu bwat tak nampak dah. kutuk sesaje. niat baik satu2 parti tu terus hilang.

I always wonder, bapak aku sokong parti apa.....hahaha. He always keeps his opinion in politics guarded. satu sebab mak and bapak aku, rasanya menyokong parti berbeza.....ekeke.

Mengundi? Oh aku dah daftar. Dalam Islam pun mengundi di dituntut. Aku tak pasti hukum sebenar....wajib ke ape. Tapi dituntut gak la kan. Sbb mengundi ni tanggungjawab kan.

Aku rasa aku undi kucing aku, Ella....ok tak? Parti Kucing Sejagat.

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problemo....

its almost 1.30 am.

my baby-girl just slept. she cant sleep properly and early these few weeks because she's not getting enough milk from me. usually she'll get a full dose of milk before she sleeps, and then she'll sleep fine. malam ni dia tertido only selepas aku dok garu-garu bontot dia. kesian dia. i feel so damn guilty.

that's what being pregnant do to your breastmilk. the supply and demand concept suddenly doesnt work anymore. i nurse her just like before when my production was working fine.....but it simply dosnt work like that anymore. it dries up and re-production become so slow. it becomes full only once a day.

at times i feel so guilty. sad. angry. i even cry (yes im an emotional person). this girl is having a hard time accepting formula milk. aku takot sgt dia tak cukup khasiat. she'll only drink dutch lady kid 1-6 in the little boxes. her doc said that's fine if thats the only milk she drinks. but she's still having a hard time accepting that I'M the one who's giving her the milk. she drinks it in the nursery tho, but not with me.

If i give the milk to her, she'll look at me like im crazy....like she cant believe it....(haha).

im sorry baby girl. aahhh....how do you tell a wonderful little child that you're sorry and its beyond your control and nothing is her fault and she's the most awesome little girl and she's gotta drink formula milk else mama gonna be sad and might cry every night....?

oh well, that's what we women do. we cry. doesnt mean we're weak. but thats how we find strength. we cry before we get our strength. well at least for me. i did cry because i feel like i cant provide for her.

aku kena cari jalan. kena cari susu lain lagi nih.....

and to baby adik....you just chill inside my tummy yer. mama will take care of you, nothing to worry. ya Allah....tolong la budak kecik ni...

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Surprisseee! Surprise indeed...

Salam...

Sometimes god gives us 'anugerah' and at the same time, it comes with an 'ujian'. It comes together. In the same colourful packet.

Aku tak heboh sangat pasal berita ni kat facebook ke ape. Cume beberapa kerat kawan jer tau.
I am about 7 weeks pregnant. This is actually unplanned. Plannya nak breastfeed aynur for 2 whole years. Now she's only 15 months. I plan to start planning for a new baby when aynur is setahun 8 bulan ke atas.

Period aku lambat. Aku bwat derk. Ingat maybe sebab dia irregular sbb aku still breastfeeding. Pastu jadi lambat benar plak. 2 minggu. Jadi aku pk....oh well, maybe i miss my period this month. Tapi hati tetap rasa lain macam actually. Badan aku kan....aku tau aa. Ada perubahan sikit. Perubahannya ialah....aku cepat letih. Bwat derk lagi. Then one day...terasa nak check. Amik ko....sampai 6 minggu dah pregnnacy aku. Folic acid tak makan sume. Nasib aku makan multivitamin gak. Susu pun minum-minum gak.

Mula-mula aku dapat tahu, aku down. Maklumlah kite kononnya dah plan cantek punya. Tengok2 jadi cam lain kan. Aku sayang adik aynur, tapi adik datang terlalu cepat sayang. Aku risau aku tak dpt breastfeeding aynur. Pregnancy hormone suppress breastmilk production. Kalo anak aku dah kurang minum ok la. Ni dia still rancak minum. Aku risau aku tak larat nak kejar aynur yg baru bleh berjalan ni. Aku risau aku tak boleh nak jalankan tanggungjawab. Tapi aku pk balik....ramai gile kot orang beranak awal. Lagi awal pun ada. Lepak je. Diorg bleh bwat....apsal aku taleh kan. Lagipun aynur is 15 months, not very cepat kot kan.

Jadi aku telah mengambil sedikit masa....duduk sorang2 sambil bermuhasabah.

Tuhan lebih mengetahui. Allah has planned a better path. Apalah kite, manusia yang jahil ni tahu? Kite tak tahu apa-apa. Kite cuma tahu plan perkara yang KITA INGAT adalah terbaik..sedangkan Allah tau apa yang lebih baik untuk kite.

Aku telah muhasabah...

Allah takkan menganiaya hambanya. Allah cuma menguji. Anugerah juga adalah ujian. Manusia tidak lekang dengan ujian.

Cume aku mintak pada Allah, tolonglah Aynur with her transition to formula milk. Aku akan still cuba bg breastmilk selagi termampu. Frankly speaking, im not ready to stop breastfeeding. I love it. I love seeing her beautiful innocent eyes looking up at my face. Like she need me...like im everything to her. But my breastmilk is drying up.

Im sorry gegirl...we'll go through this together. Mama will always be with you, breastfeeding or not.

The fun part is, she is showing something new. She's attracted to babies. She see babies, mula la senyum simpul, excited. Pastu sibuk panggil "baby, baby, baby..."

Tengok baby seronok, tengok gamba baby mana-mana seronok. Menjerit2 panggil baby...haha. And to adik, mama will take care of you, dont worry. You must be one surprising whimsical baby too. Mama love you as much....

Oh ya...kawan2, bagaimanakah anda transition anak ke formula milk?

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A bit about my father.

Our parents have their own way, kan? We respect our parents, and the way they do things.

I mean old parents....our parents. They have their own way of doing things. Unlike us, modern couples. I salute my parents...not only becase they are my parents, but because they show us some things that are so good, we cant even follow.

My mother always tell me, dulu dia keje. Everyday, with little salary. But everyday also she manage to cook and do the house. She manage to send money to my grandma, and taking care of her still-studying brothers.

She said most of the time, she would be tired. But she say, one person who always push (in good ways, of course) and help her is my father. My father would peel bawang for my mother to ease and make things easy and fast for her. My father would bathe us adik beradik while my mom is cooking. Aku selalu ingat dulu, abah aku selalu sikat rambut aku lepas mandi kecik2 dulu. Dia akan belah tepi rambut aku, cam budak nerd (now anak aku plak kena camtu. lepas aynur mandi, dia akan sikat rambut aynur ke tepi. macam nerd....kekek). Pastu dia tuka pampers ke ape. Sementara mak aku masak, dia akan layan kitorang gaduh sesama sendiri ke ape ke. He sometimes would help to lipat kain. He would help to dodoi us. He would cuci toilet, tlg kemas rumah sume. Yang best tu semuanya tanpa disuruh. Bukan cam suruh budak2 simpan mainan gitu.

When he cares about something, he would really care about it. Dia sayang bebenor dgn aynur. kalau la aku bising sikit sambil aynur tido, mmg la dia sound aku. Kalau anak aku kena gigit nyamuk, lagi la kena. Pernah anak aku jatuh teruk....dia nangis. And he doesnt mind taking his own drink in the kitchen.

Skang bapak aku dah pencen, mama aku keje lagi. Lagi la byk bende dia bwat. Dia lipat kain, dia mop lantai, dia kekadang pi rendam baju2 yg perlu direndam. Skang kitorang dah besar, dengan dia-dia masuk dapur tolong mama aku masak. Even atok aku dulu pun selalu tolong nenek aku. Abah aku selalu cerita, "ayoh" (atok aku la) aku selalu duduk celapak depan pintu rumah sambil lipat kain. Dah pupus la aku rasa lelaki camtu. Tapi dalam masa tolong menolong tu, diorg tetap bertekak. Mak dengan bapak aku adalah couple yang hampir tidak pernah sebulu dalam satu2 hal. Sambil2 masak tu bleh dengar diorg bertekak. But they always agree to disagree. Betapa banyak diorg tak sebulu pun, no hal la! Walaupun gitu, there is something that make them stick together. Sometimes i wonder....

Sometimes aku rasa ada bende yang diorg tahu, tapi kite tak tahu. Tak cukup ilmu. They know something that we dont know. Tapi its general aku rasa. Its understanding, bertimbang rasa, respect, helping each other and showing that you care. And what i think is cool - its like....diorg sama-sama tampal mana-mana lubang dalam relationship. cover mana-mana yang tak kena. Its a two way relationship in every aspect.

And aku kekadang memang rasa, susahnye nak cari org cam bapak aku dah. Tapi tak ke kite selalu rasa camtu? Rasa cam bapak kite best?..... =) Rasa cam mak kite untung? Tapi parents kite memang tak perfect. Yang kite rasa kurang kena, letak belakang. They are human too kan.

Tapi lelaki skang banyak manja-manja. Tak gitu? =). Aku tengok zaman skang, yang pempuan saja kena kuat dan gagah. Yang lelaki tak berapa lasak dah. Kalau dengar atau baca cerita2 org pempuan ni, cam kesian. Eh, lelaki gagah juga...tapi diorg gagah fizikal je kot? Setakat gagah fizikal, aku pun bleh mengangkat bende berat selagi ada kudrat. Aku tak bercakap pasal lasak fizikal. Penting untuk kuat mental dan ada emotional inteligent yang tinggi. (Emotional Intelligence, or EI, describes an ability or capacity to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, and of others). Penting ada EQ yang tinggi. EQ adalah ability utk asses emotion org lain. Bukan IQ je tinggi, tak berguna. Pemandu teksi pun bleh ada IQ tinggi. Tapi dia bawak teksi je gak (bukan mengutuk pemandu teksi, sumpah). Kirenye EQ is important in life. Important to go forward and succeed (in relationship ke, ape ke). Pendek kata, kire cam considerate la.

Tapi cam aku kata, dah pupus la aku rasa lelaki camtu. Mungkin ada, dan sape yang ada laki camtu, memang diorg golongan nak pupus dah. Unless korang ajarkan anak korang, supaya jadi cam bapaknye. Gentleman gitu. Jangan bagi golongan begini pupus. They are like siberian tigers. Sayang....









Im writing this generally and carefully through experience and observation around me. From stories of mouth too mouth. From what i read. From my own observation. I dunno....wallahualam. Just my 2 cents.

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Nunor at almost 15 months...

Salam all....

My baby is 14 months. Well this 17 November she'll be 15 months. Time flies like a concorde. Too fast it worries me sometimes. Not really worry, but it got me thinking about many things. About money, about the suitable time to have more kids, about my lost times, about relationship with people, about career. Many things...

I kept thinking about it from time to time. But im not like all stressed out. I was just thinking about all that. You can't run away from all that.

Anyway, now that Nunor is almost 15 months, she has passed a lot of milestone. One that she is going through right now, is talking. Bila orang bersembang, i always observe her. She would listen and look at the talking person. She would look at their mouth (this doesn't always happen. sometimes she'd rather play). When i talk to her, she would listen, and respond in her language, like she understand. And we would have a whole conversation, like chicken talking to a duck.

Figuring out what she's saying is fun. Like few weeks ago, she was repeating a word. Aku mmg tak paham perkataan ape. It sounds like "cica" (pronounce it like in BM). So dia dok repeat cica cica cica cica. So aku dok fikir laa....amende la cica nih. "Tido" ke. Macam tak. Eh, tak paham la aku.

One day aku sembang dengan PakDin. Aku ade sebut perkataan "teacher" and suddenly dia sebut 'cica!". Then i realize....the word is "teacher". Teacher, because babysitter kat nursery dia sume bebudak tu dok panggil teacher. Hahahaha....i laugh out loud. Now about a month after that, it sounds more and more like "teacher". Like ctecher....hahah....gitu2 la.

Like recently, she's trying to immitate the word "jom". She cant say the letter "j" yet. So she cant really pronounce "jom". But she try. You gotta love that. She try to say the word. Maybe because it icks her that she cannot say it, when everyone is saying it. Tak boleh jadi kan! So you know how she pronounce it?

She says "pom".......hahahahah....now I'M laughing.

Whenever we wanna get moving and i say "jom, jom"...dia pun sibuk kata "pom, pom". Lepas tu dia ketawa malu-malu...cos she knows its not how you say it. Hahahah...nunor, nunor.

And she's also more adventurous. She has a box of toys, but that doesnt interest her anymore. Dia suka punggah laci, punggah kotak, punggah vcd-vcd abah dia, punggah beg nursery dia, beg aku, wallet kitorang, kasi pecah table lamp kaca aku. Arrggghhh...hahaha. Sabar jer la kan. And she starts to walk more. At 14 months, her longest step is 9. 9 step. Ok la tu....lambat sket. We know eventually she'll walk. Only the matter of time. But she's a pro at crawling tho....haha.

She likes to berlakon nangis, then when people layan dia, dia sengih. She likes to do things herself. Pegang gelas sendiri. Suap makanan sendiri. Tp masalahnye dia tak reti kan. Dan aku plak takde masa nak mengelap meja dan lantai yang berlemuih. So experiment dia limited sket. Ahh...aku yang tak puas hati. Tapi kalau biar, memang tak terlap la akuuuu.

Anyway..... =) aynur at 15 months....

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Nak eksiden....

Salam....

Korang bawak kete cemana? Aku bawak kete hati-hati la gak. Takde kelam kabut, menyusahkan orang. Especially ada anak dlm kete ni. Korang pun kena hati-hati tau!

Baru ni aku bawak kereta. Nunor ada dalam kereta, dalam carseat. Carseat tu kat seat depan, rear-facing. Aku nak strap dia atas carseat tak nak. Dia nak diri atas lutut dia, sambil tgk depan dalam seat dia. Aku nak strap dia kemain struggle. Konon habis kuat aa. Aku plak ada byk barang nak pegang sume. Aku pun letak dia dulu dalam carseat tu. Cadangnya nanti red-light kat mana-mana traffic light, aku ikat aa dia kan....

So aku pun bawak la kete. Bawak-bawak-bawak tu....aku nampak nun di depan....traffic light tengah kelip-kelip hijau....nak jadi kuning. Jalan tu agak busy. Mengingatkan traffic light ini adalah traffic light yang paling membuang masa dalam hidup aku, aku pun speed up sket. Aku tau memang sempat. Kalau tak sempat takde aku speed up. Sikit lagi nak lepas traffic light....tiba2 ada kete belah kiri aku nak pusing, nak pergi ke belah kanan. Mana boleh! Ko nak gi kanan ko kena dok lane kanan aa. Atau at least lane tengah. Jalan tu busy 3 lane kot...gile hape dari hujung kiri nak gi hujung kanan! Aku dah pucat, ngucap panjang. Aku dah la tengah speeding ni. Sempat tak break. Anak aku dah la tak strapped-on. Aku pun break la mencicit gaban. Aku tarik seluar anak aku, so that dia tak terus ke depan langgar cermin kete. Skang dua-dua kete dah berenti. Kete dia, kete aku...kete belakang byk lagi tunggu.

Memang anak haram jadah punya driver. Yang bawak kete tu pempuan. Kesabaran nak sampai had dah aku rasa. Kalau aku ada darah tinggi, mau aku kena serang strok dah. Sebab darah cam boiling sial. Aku rasa cam nak tenyeh muka dia atas tar. Itu aku punya initial feeling. Boiling gile ada beberapa sebab significant....

(1) Sebab aku bawak anak. Kalau sorang-sorang, marah-marah pun aku let go la. Ni kalau bawak anak, aku jadi cam mak kucing. Ko pernah berani nak gi kacau anak kucing baru lahir? kau nak kena gigit dengan mak kucing? Ha....macam tu la. Bile ada sesuatu yang macam jadi threat utk anak, aku mula la darah jadi boiling. Alah bukan mak kucing je....mak-mak lain pun sama. Sebab natural instinct dia nak protect anak dia dari harmful threats.

(2) Apa yang pempuan gile tu bwat is sooooo not necessary. I mean its a stupid thing. Selfish betul. Kalau kebodohan dia tu jadi kemalangan utk org lain cemana? kalau dah salah lane di atas jalan yang busy, you better find another way. Bukan bwat bende bodoh camtu.

(3) I didnt honk her. I should have. It should be a blast honking. But i didnt. Im not a honking-person.

Kadang-kadang, kita mungkin bawak kete berhati-hati. Tapi kite tatau org lain cemana. Bile dah kena, nak kire sapa betul sape salah pun tak guna dah. Kite kena jadi extra careful dengan diri kite....dan alert dengan pembawa-pembawa kereta seperti ini.

Semoga kitre dielakkan daripada bende-bende macam ni.

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The cat story

Aku bukak page ni awal-awal tadi. Tatau nak tulis ape.

I was thinking, did i really lost it? I mean lost my mojo, lost my ideas, lost my fun-ness? Well, i admit, some of my life is really occupied. Yer la, as life move on, you have responsibilities kan. Your life become occupied. Ada komitmen.

But whatever it is, you should fullfilled you life with meaningfull things. You should make yourself meaningful to others. You should fill your soul with real things. You should have lots of fun. This thinking brings me to an incident that happen some years ago. Some years ago yang selalu aku ingat.

I was around 23 years old. Or was it 24? Around that. That was my final semester in MMU. That semester I only took 1 subject, or was it 2. I have a lot of time. So I worked at a bakery shop near my house. On one of my working days....one time i went out to get drinks. On the way to buy my drinks, i saw a cat. A black cat. The cat looks healthy, strong. I think he's around 1 1/2 yrs old. You know what the cat was doing? He was chasing butterfly. Ah, that scene is so fresh in my mind. The cat was having so much fun. Chasing and jumping. The scene was very interesting, I stopped to look at him play. I called out to him. He stopped, looked at me....and continue play. Im a cat person. I appreciate animals. So when i see him play like that, it brings joy to me. After looking at him for a while, i remember i was suppose to get some drinks. So i went into 7-eleven.

After around 5 minutes in 7-eleven, i went out and automatically remembers the cat. I search for him. Takde. He was not there, where he played just now. Mana dia. Aku pusing kiri-kanan. takde. Ahh...mana dia. I dunno why, aku rasa tak sedap hati. Aku cari-cari....and suddenly i saw him. Hancut lulur hati aku. Sedih. Aku nangis terus kat situ. Depan kucing yang dah mati tu, depan org kat kaki lima kedai. Kucing tu kena langgar. Ahhh....cemana bleh kena langgar. he was so happy playing just now. This cant be!....

But he was so happy playing just now! Aku taleh terima hakikat time tu. I know its just a cat. well, maybe sebab, (1)-aku suke kucing (2)-he was so much alive before that (3)-he made my day, and suddenly he died?!

Oh well, life's like that. You dont know when is your due to go. From that moment on, i learn something. Live yourself to the fullest. Fullest doesnt mean go waste yourself, but do something meaningful to you and others. Go have fun. Do what you like. Be important to other people other than yourself. Leave marks on people. Like the cat. He left a permanent mark in my heart.

I hope there's cat heaven. I hope he go to cat heaven.

xoxo.

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What being a mother has taught me...

I've been a mother for a year. Aynur Khalesya is 1 year and few weeks old. She's my biggest achievement. Maklumlah, aku ni manalah belajar tinggi-tinggi. Orang lain ada masters, gaji riban-riban. Aku ada degree je. But this girl, she's grown up to be a beautiful, funny, whimsical toddler. What a sunshine. Sume orang rasa anak dia best. Tak salah. Sume org rasa camtu....aku paham sungguh.

Lepas setahun menjadi mak, aku sedar...how having a baby change your life. What having a baby has taught you. I repeat, the baby will CHANGE your life. You realize you can change into a different person. You realize all this while you worry about the most un-important thing. That zit on your chin?...nehhh! You realize there's more important thing than what you thought is the most important thing before.

Few things that being a mother and wife has taught me?

- Patience- Number 1 thing you should have. If i want to talk about this, its gonna be endless. From my baby is 1 day old....to 1 year old, bkn senang nak besarkan anak. Still remember how my baby doesnt sleep and cry a lot masa pantang. Thats colic. I thought i can never go through it. But i did....dgn jayanya. Hoyeahhh!!

-Strength - Physical and mental. You do need physical strength. Baby will gain weight so fast and you will need to carry her around. Stroller? Well sometimes you gotta carry her manually, plus her stuff. Now my baby is almost 9 kg, 75cm. Tell me if you dont need physical strength? You will need stronger arms and torso.

Mentally is more important. We control things with our mind. Thats why mental strength is important. I, myself have built this 'WALL' inside me. This wall is made of love, courage, patience and so many other wonderful things. So many things and people actually contribute to my wall. My baby, my husband, my mom, dad, siblings, friends, cats, flower, bradley cooper....haha. Whenever i feel like im falling, i will hang on to this wall. (please be informed, its not facebook wall)

-Health - Exercise, eat well. Dont do crazy dieting. Or over-eat. Or eat crap. If you are sick, tempang lah family. Jadi jagalah kesihatan....demi siri sendiri, demi keluarga.

-Time management - Manage time and establish routines. Then you might have more time which you can establish below;

-Me time - Important for you to rest, read a book, do things for yourself. Me time can be harvested when you manage your time. You have vacuum the floor, mop the floor, lipat baju, basuh baju, plan things ready to cook...then maybe you can curi few hours for your face mask and reflexology. Cukur ape patut, mencantikkan diri sket....haha. Its not everyday you can have me time. Be patient! This needs cooperation from your other half. Dapat once a week pun dah cukup bagus.

-Good food - Good food makes people happy and healthy.

-Understanding and helping each other - this doesnt need much explanation.

From my experience, all that above is important. If i explain detail all point one by one, i will only finish writing by tonight...kan. Other than being a mother, you still have your life, your house, your husband. You are still the chef, the cleaner, the wife. You still have double, triple job that seems endless. Kalau dibayar gaji, haha....mmg kaya. Aku ni plak jenis tak mintak tolong org. Im like that. Sejak kecik aku camtu. Mungkin sebab aku tak ramai adik beradik dan org laki dlm family. Aku ada sorang abg yang beza umur 7 tahun. Dia kawin umur 26 kot. Dah ada family sendiri. Pastu tinggal aku, adik pempuan, mak and bapak. Takkan aku nak nyusahkan abg aku yg ada family sendiri. Takkan nak nyusahkan parents aku je kan. Sekali-sekala ada la mintak tlg adik and parents. So aku mmg terlatih utk buat bende sendiri. Kalau org lain tolong, pastu tak bwat stail aku, aku jadi kureng suke plak dah. Nanti aku akan bwat balik sume.

Satu lagi aku selalu terfikir, ialah pasal parents aku. Aku terfikir, betapa kite sayang kat anak kite kan. Mesti mak-bapak aku pun sayang aku cam aku sayang kat anak aku. Kalau teringat sume tu....rasa macam...ahh, bersalah. What a lousy daughter i am. At 29 years old, im still learning and realizing things that i never see before. Kekadang insaf jugak....baru la rasa appreciate parents dgn lebih banyak. Pulak tu, parents aku sume bwat sendiri. Masa pantang parents aku jaga aku sendiri. Mak aku mandikan sendiri, sume sendiri. Aku pulak baby colic gak. Budak berangin. Nangis manjang. Masa tu nenek aku dok jauh kat kelantan. Ada tanaman nak kena jaga sume. Taleh jauh lama-lama sangat. Masa tu plak cuti bersalin 40 hari je. Ah...cam robot mama aku. Tabik spring la Ma!

Anyway, semua mak dan isteri ada macam-macam cerita. This all build us to become strong. Aku rasa puas dan lega. Buat lah dengan ikhlas. Buatlah kerana nak keluarga berfungsi dgn baik.....kerana Allah. Pahala orang pempuan ni, mmg byk datangnya dari menjadi seorang emak, seorang isteri, dan seorang anak.

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A little update....

Salam....'ola...

Oh, last post aku Februari dowww......skang dah bulan 8. Dah setengah tahun. Apekah!....orang berblog, dia nak berblog gak. Pastu takleh maintain.....salah siapa? Ape laa...!

Disebabkan aku lama tak post, aku update la pasal diriku ini yer. Nanti next next post aku bebel pasal lain plak. Bulan August kalu, kira aku dah berumur....jap...aku nak kira. Aku tak sure lak aku ni umur 28 ke, 29 thn ni.

2011

-1982

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29

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Oh, 23 August ni aku dah umur 29 thn la kira....hahaha....what a number. Anywayyy....

Oh, there's another special birthday this month! A special birthday, with a special number! Its Aynur Khalesya 1st birthday. Ini lagi satu....hahaha.....budak ni dah setahun. Aynur, or fondly called Nunor by family is 1 year old this 17/8. Masih fresh di ingatan...puasa tahun lepas cemana aku struggle jaga dia. She's a colicky baby. Kata orang, breastfed baby ni kurang colic. Mane ade derr....nangih sakan every night sampai pagi. Nasib baik masa pantang je gitu.

Nak bwat party kat dia pun kurang sesuai plak bulan-bulan puasa ni. Next year pun sama kot. Takpe, nanti 3 tahun mama bwat birthday bash gitu....hehehe. This funny, whimsical, baby. Let me tell you a bit about her.

-Her face has changed. Dulu 90% ikot bapak dia. Skang dah mix...becomes sweeter...hehe.

-Dia dah setahun, tapi gigi baru ada 4 batang. Tu pun half tumbuh baru. Her tooth only came out by 10+ month. Almost 11 month.

- She havent walk yet. But she can stand and meniti berjalan slow-slow sambil pegang kabinet. Problem is dia suka menjinjit....she's practising to walk in high heels, i'm telling you.

-She's long.....or tall i should say.

-Best thing is, she's already talking. Abah Nunor selalu cakap dulu, kalau boleh dia nak Aynur cepat bercakap. Doa parents ni memang makbul ko! Dia tak la boleh bercakap - 'mama, aynur sungguh lapar. bolehkah kirenye mama suapkan aynur makan?' - dia boleh cakap simple words. She can pronounce mama and abah by 8 months. She can pronounce tokma (sounds more like omma) by 9+ month. She can say simple2 word like nak, air, bird, cat, Ella (my cat), fish (but sounds more like sshh), and some others. She can mock people, ngajuk ape dia sempat tangkap. She can say her name. She can follow your words. Sometimes if i count with her, she will follow....if she wants and she's in the mood. Babies are like that....you cant force. They want to do, they will do. They dont want....ko bwat la cemana, terbalikkan dunia pun dia takkan bwat.

-She starts 'muaahh' by 10 months. Dia akan muah with some souvenir on your cheek (air liur dia). Tapi air liur baby smells sweet. Lemme tell you, bau mulut baby fresh. Especially kalau dia breastfeed. Actually baby susu formula pun bau sedap. Sedang diorang dalam period hisap susu tu, memang bau mulut dia fresh. Dah start solid 100% aku tak rasa bau mulut wangi sangat la kot....hehe.

-Dia suke kutip benda masuk mulut. Ada baby yang tak macam tu. Anak aku ni kronik sket aku rasa....haha. Aku rasa salah satu deria utama dia ialah lidah. Dia kena rasa texture sesuatu bende tu dengan lidah dia. Baru puas hati. Anak sedara aku tak suka pun masuk benda dalam mulut. Cousin aku yang kecik tu pun tak camtu. Baru ni dia jumpa biji kurma atas lantai. Dia masuk mulut. Bapak aku nampak dia cam kulum sesuatu. Tengok-tengok biji kurma....terus la aku kena marah. Marabahaya ko....kot tercekik kang. Nasib baik tak jadi pape.

-She just started brushing her teeth. Aku la yg brushkan....bukan dia berus sendiri. Aku rasa dia senang hati bagi aku brush sebab dia suke letak bende dalam mulut dia....so dia suka aa bende dalam mulut dia tu kan. Lidah dia sama sibuk. Sampai dgn lidah-lidah dia aku genyeh.

-Dia tak suka pakai baju. Dia even tak suka pakai pampers. Tapi aku rasa bende ni lebih kepada dia suka nyakat orang. Bertuah punya. Lepas mandi, lepas lap badan dia, aku pakaikan pampers. Lepas tu aku cari seluar dia jap....pusing balik kat dia, tengok-tengok pampers sudah terburai...dia dah dok lari merangkak terkekek-kekek. Kena pulak kejar dia....pakaikan balik pampers. Pastu aku sarung seluar ke kaki dia....belum sempat habis pakai seluar, dia dah bukak pampers balik. Woooohhhh.....boleh naik angin aku weeyyy. Aku dah la patient sangat rendah. Aku pernah slap peha dia sekali...pastu muka dia terkejut. Aduu...kesian. But she knows i love her and would go to the end of the world for her. Anyway, kekadang untuk mengelakkan diri aku dari naik darah dok ulang pakaikan pampers dia, aku pakai je diaper pants. Senang....hahahha....taleh bukak dah.

Ramadhan ni, first time la aku tak terawikh. Kalau idak dulu memang selalu gi. Dah nak jaga anak kan. Aku tanak la bawak anak gi surau. Dulu masa aku single mingle, aku selalu bengang dengan orang bawak budak kecik gi surau. Budak kecik tu nangis la, merangkak depan org semayang la, bising-bising la.....bih takkan aku nak bwat bende sama kan. Kekadang aku semayang depan Aynur je. Tapi bile dia dah 'kerabat' kaki aku....susah aa kan. Pernah aku berdiri 5 minit tunggu dia lari dari kerabat kaki aku. Ha....tak dapat la kan. Stop semayang kot....(stop semayang sesuka hati adalah tidak boleh).

Gi pasar Ramadhan pun jarang sangat dah. Dah dulu selalu sangat gi. Dia jadi tak heran kot...haha. Kalau teringain pape baru cari. This year is simpler than years before....although more tiring.

Kepada Ila, selamat berpantang. Dia baru lepas dapat hero few days ago....

Semoga puasa kite diberkati dan tidak hanya mendapat lapar dan dahaga....amiin

=)

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Kim Clijsters

Hello....
Howow u? =D....teehee...

The other day, I watched Australian Open. Aku tengok sikit je. Dulu sume Grand Slam aku tengok. Roland Garros, Wimbledon, Australian Open, US open....semua aku tengok. Tapi sekarang aku tengok sipi-sipi je. Tapi aku tau la peberet aku main. Aku suka Kim Clijsters. Lama dah aku minat dia. Since dia muda single trangtangtang lagi. Aku suka sebab dia punya main smooth je. Swing dia smooth and clean gitu. Badan dia pulak cam sangat ringan masa main (dulu la...skang masa main dia tak nampak ringan cam dulu dah). And she play things cool. Takde marah-marah, takde bunyi-bunyian yang annoying. Takda swing yang gaban laju ke ape. Semue relax and placing cantik.

Dia menang Australian Open pempuan. Aku gembira la kan. And amused too. She is married. Has a family. Has a baby (dah toddler kot anak dia). She's 27. She sharpen things up to get back in the scene, get back in the game. Awesome. Its hard work. Dia tinggalkan tennis bertahun-tahun, and now she won a Grand 'effing' Slam. It makes me more amused and being more of her fan. Dia boleh get back in shape, get back her stamina and strength.

She inspires me.

No this is not about losing weight, silly....haha. This is about chasing your dream. This is about doing what you want and being satisfied in life. And then succeed...over and over...like Kim. (Ceh panggey Kim, bajet kawan baik aa tuh...haha)

People might think that having a family, a cheeky little baby girl, a paycheck that makes things affordable (bkn kaya raya...affordable sahaja ye...hehe), a house, another house, a car and another car is great. What more could you want....right? Syukur.

Wrong. At least me (syukur tetap syukur). I feel like i still need to achieve certain other thing. 1 thing only. Satu bende je wey! Just one thing only. Aku dapat achieve tu, aku tak bising banyak dah. But the thing is, susah. Nanti ada la kata-kata cliche...fikir positive la, hendak seribu daya tak hendak seribu dalih la, di mana ada jalan di situ ada highway la....heh...susah. Cakap boleh la kan...

Bak kata aku...talk is cheap. Because everybody can talk, but not doing and feeling anything. Tapi takpe....we'll see if i can turn it around and become like Kim Clijsters.

Its gonna be a long and great weekend. 4 hari cuti...tak great ape tu. Happy Holidays. And Happy Rabbit Chinese New Year to my chinese friends.

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Getting active...

Ok, i update my blog now as frequent as me sprawling on the sofa with a book while drinking hot cocoa on a rainy day.

1 reason is, aku tak berapa nak ada masa. Another thing is, aku tatau nak tulis ape. Dua-dua alasan tu berkait rapat. Bila takda masa, ko mana la nak terfikir topic nak canang kat sini kan.

Anak aku dah 5 bulan....hahaha. Aku jadi cam dalam twilight dowh kalau pk pasal ni. Pasal anak aku dah 5 bulan ni la. Cam cepatnye la. Cam tak caya pun ada sikit-sikit. Tapi memang percaya la kan, lebih-lebih lagi bila atas bahu aku ada bau masam dia muntah tadi....hehe. Aku still breastfeeding, Alhamdulillah. Rezeki kecit tu.

Bila breastfeeding ni, badan tak naik. Kalori yang kau makan dah burn jadi susu kan. Dia lambat la kalau nak naik pun. Kalori eaten with a purpose. Aku tak exercise langsung. Tapi kan, one fine day, aku terfikir...apa jadi kalau aku stop breastfeeding. Damn! Dengan stamina aku out sume...apa la nak jadi ni. Mesti aku jadi belon la kan. Hot air balloon....ha amik ko, besar gaban.

Eh tak bleh jadi!.....

Jadi aku pun decide, i have to do something before things gets out of hand. I have to exercise. I have to play sports. Aku dah nak setahun kot tak berlari. Yer la....dari perut boyot, sampai anak aku dah 5 bulan ni kan. Cam pengkau je dah kaki.

But first thing, first....i have to get a sports bra. Will get it this weekend. Dulu aku tak exercise kalau tak pakai sports bra. So uncomfortable. Sekarang juga sama, aku takkan exercise kalau takde sports bra. Lebih-lebih lagi sekarang la. Sejak aku ada extra sket kat situ, kena beli baru la. Kena support lebih sket. Sekarang memang aku takkan tak pakai sports bra.

For starters, i'll do brisk walking and slow jogg. Then maybe next weekend, or another next weekend, i'll be playing badminton or tennis. And how can i forget swimming! Kena beli suit baru. Laki aku soh beli suit tutup aurat plak tuh...huhuuh. Aku bukan ape, tapi aku rasa suit swimming muslimah tu.....cam lawak badut freak show sket la (sorry mereka yang memakai). Aku sangat-sangat-sangat-sangat-sangat-sangat-sangat keberatan nak pakai. Sumpah aku sangat keberatan. Ada alternatif tak orang yang bertudung nak swim? Orang yang memang swim tau suit muslimah tu tak sesuai untuk swimming. How can you swim when the baju is flapping all around you? (baju dia besar ok). Tapi tatau la, maybe sebab aku tak pernah pakai lagi, aku dah judge sesuka hati. Tengok la cemana...oh well. Aku nak cari alternatif. Tanak aku pakai suit tu...walau laki aku kata elok setara mana pun.

Here's to a better health and good strong body!

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