Lambat benau nih!

Ramadhan yang best sudah datang. Nothing beats eating good food together after a long day of empty stomach. Not forgetting sembahyang terawikh yang sebenarnye amat baik untuk menolong perut mencerna makanan.

Tapi aku tahun ni tak kuat la. Ingatkan tahun ni first time puasa dengan suami kan. Boleh masak kat dia, buka puasa sama-sama. Atau gi cari tempat best nak berbuka. Lepas tu pergi sembahyang terawikh sama-sama. Tapi tak dapek la. Skang sempat la lagi nak puasa. Tapi kalau aku puasa, mula la aku terfikir....baby cukup air ke ni. Tiba-tiba pulak dia sedu kan. Selalu baby hiccup kalau aku tak cukup air. Aih....sedikit susah hati la kan. Tapi aku puasa jugak. Bila aku rasa cam takut tak cukup air, kang heartbeat dia naik lagi....aku berbuka la (oh hari tu heartbeat dia naik...doc suspect heartbeat dia tinggi tu sebab temperature aku naik sikit, 37.4 je pun). Nak sembahyang terawikh pun aku mungkin tak cukup kuat. Tapi memang aku paksakan jugak la...takde la aku nak manjakan diri sangat. Pastu nanti nak beranak....memang sepanjang Ramadhan la kan aku berpantang.

C'mon Farin....c'mon! Redah je...! Cabaran sungguh. Bayangkan banyak mana aku kena ganti ni. Nak ganti 8 hari dalam setahun pun kemain payah. Ni nak ganti sampai sebulan.

I'm actually restless. Not good Farin....not good. Anxious. In agony. Aku nak masuk labour! But labour will not start on a stressed out body. Not good for me, not good for baby. Baby will come out unhappy if im too stressed and to forcefull... I'm in the 39th week today. Why i'm stressed? I want baby to get out now....hahaha. I have dilation, but i dont feel any contraction. No painful contraction. Everytime perut mengeras, im hoping it would progress to be painful. But no....not painful. Means no labour....yet.

Why i need baby to come out now?.....well....i dont have a good reason actually. Selain sebab tidak sabar, dan sedikit penat. Badan aku sakit-sakit. Lutut, tapak kaki, peha, crotch....arghh. Selfish reason maybe? Maybe so....haha. Aku ada terfikir nak induce....tapi mak aku cakap tak payah. Due pun belum kenapa nak kecoh, dia kata. Nak bwat ape kan, dia kata. My condition is fine. Blood pressure aku ok, gula dalam darah ok, heartrate baby ok, movement baby ok...contraction je kureng. Kena tunggu sikit lagi. It will happen eventually.....they say. Because baby will come out when she's ready...and also when my body's ready.

People say first time pregnancy tend to be late babies. But there are some people who naturally go to labour early for first babies. Ahh....untung mereka. Orang kata baby lambat ni baby laki, because guys are naturally pemalas sikit kan. Ada orang kata, baby lambat ni girl....tau la, girls kan ada je bendenye yg buat lambat. Heheheh...sampai skang aku memang tak tahu gender sebenar dia la. I never think about the gender since im 7 months pregnant.

This makes me a bit grumpy too. Orang pregnant kadang-kadang memang senang marah kan. Aku tidak la camtu, tapi kalau orang tu memang sengaja lagi bwat aku marah, dia memang kena sound la kan.

Hari tu aku kat Giant, alone. Din belum balik keje lagi masa tu. Aku beli groceries sikit. Boleh la exercise sket kan....jalan-jalan. Keluar je dari Giant, aku carry la semua plastic bag tu. Malas pulak nak heret trolley ke kereta kan. Plastik tu pulak boleh tahan la berat. Aku pun jalan la nak kuar. Tiba-tiba ada orang insurance stop aku, suruh beli insurans untuk baby. Aku kata takpe, taknak....aku cakap elok-elok. Pastu dia ikut aku, dia kata "tunggu dulu kak, kak kena dengar ni dulu". Aku kata "takpe mekasih, saya tak mahu". Pastu believe it or not....dia tak putus asa okaaayyy, still trying to stop me. Pastu memang aku stop la kan. Aku tengok muka dia siap dengan berkerut-kerut muka aku, seraya aku berkata, "eh, saya penat ni tau tak".

'ok kak, sori kak,' dia kata sambil angkat tangan kat aku.

Tu aku rasa memang carik pasal namanya. Aku dah cakap elok-elok awal-awal....siap dengan senyuman manis lagi. Nak main-main pulak ehh dengan aku....hahaha. Grumpy ke tidak?

Hahaha....i hope my next post will be different. I hope my next post will be very different.

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Baby scare me.

The other day. Baby gave me a scare.

Baby didnt move. Baby is usually very active in the morning. Full of energy. Baby will wake up really early, pastu dia buat kalut ribut dalam perut aku...hahaha. Aku pun akan terbangun and layan dia kejap. Pergi breakfast, then dia golek-golek, push-push lagik, then dia akan rilek (tido la kot) kejap. Lunch time dia bgn, demanding for food....tadak food, dia buat kalut lagi....hehe.

Hari tu, aku bangun as usual....but its weird, because baby tak gerak. Hhmm....ok, takpe. Aku pun makan pagi, expecting baby to move after food come down. Hhhmmmm.....tak gerak. Aku sedikit panik. Aku pun ketuk-ketuk sket perut....hhhhmmmmmm.....tak gerak gak. Aku tunggu jap sebelum panik tahap gaban menjelma. Tunggu dalam 45 minit. Then aku ketuk and goyang-goyang perut dengan lebih ganas....hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm.....tak gerak juga yer. Alarm is already ringing in my head. Immediately aku kejut din, gi buat CTG (cardiotocograph - check heart beat baby and my contraction) kat spital. Thank the holly Allah, heartbeat still as strong as ever. Later after almost at lunch, baru dia active. Thank god thank god thank god.....

Its a horrible moment for me that time. Nangis? Toksah cakap la....tapi aku tak nangis depan Din. Aku tanak dia pun panik. Sementara aku tunggu Din mandi tu, memang aku doa and nangis tak sudah la. Din kuar je cepat-cepat aku lap air mata and we go straight away to DEMC. Baby bwat camni kat aku 2 kali sepanjang pregnancy ni. Dulu sekali masa 6 bulan...dia bertapa tak gerak. Aku panik gile babun....pastu time-time panik tu aku pi bedal banyak gile ceklet....pastu dan-dan dia gerak. Ha, kamu suke ceklet yer baby? The second time is few days ago ni la....horrible moment. I was begging God and baby not to do this to me....it feels almost like being dump (aku dengan Din dulu pernah ada problem kejap where i was dumped....uh'huh, by him. the feelings is almost the same, just this is more horrible.)

I ask baby, why he do like that. Why did he (or she) scare the life out of me...

"Kenapa mama? Mama jangan la takot. I'm stwong, you see. Baby kan selalu push mama kuat-kuat. Im a stwong baby!"

"habis tu kenapa tak gerak-gerak mama goyang?"

"i was busy counting my fingers ma. abah kan selalu ajar baby kire."

Aihh....budak ni. Hehehhe.....anyway, i always have conversation like this with baby....ekekkee. I predicted that i will give birth by this week. Kalau semua ready, InsyaAllah. I already have dilation. We'll see....

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