My Equilibrium

Hyena all!

Its really sunny today. Too sunny actually, it burns. And there's no rain. Usually it will rain around 3pm+ everyday. But its already 4.30 and no rain. I guess no more rain season. Or the Sun just had a good time...cos another Sun in another solar system just asked her out last nite....and decide to shine her best today.

Im too abstract....am I? I know....oh well....anyway...

Have u ever like.....decide on something....and then u really really think you would stick by your decision....only to be doing total opposite of your decision? You understand me? Try reading the previous sentence again. You would understand I think. Of course you understand. I think, in a way you would/have experienced it.

I have experienced that. The whole situation (deciding and change it all over again). It shows that we are not in control of the future. It is so unpredictable. It is so evident how we dont have control over things and how God can change your heart and have total control over everything.

Not very long time ago (but not so recent also) I have prayed to God to show the best choice for me.....a.s.a.p. Cos making big decision is not easy as it also involves the future. And we dont know how the future is. And so I prayed to God...with a small heart. And not very long after that, amazingly my heart open up towards something/someone that i have been pushing away all this while. Total opposite! And amazingly i become so calm and at the same time excited and happy towards that something/someone. Amazing how God can open up your heart and give you the best choice...when u think you're alert and know everything that u want...when in fact, you were so blinded.

We have no total control....we just have faith and hope and we gotta work for the best.

I sometimes made wrong decision too. My history of wrong decisionsss were dated back when i was younger.....haha. But wrong decision and choices never makes me afraid or serik. I move on fast. But this decision that i just made feels so right, that i feel like....its better then right =p. It makes me feel so calm, happy, excited and it feels like theres nothing more to worry about. I found my equilibrium.

But...as i said, i dont know what the future holds for me.....for us. If by any chance, it doesnt work well, i will accept it like any other wrong decision that i make. I just have hope, faith and work towards it.

Im basking in this. Its my equilibrium =)

Till next time.....xoxo