Luna Writes

Pregnancy

2012-02-02T15:55:00.000+08:00

Second trimester is in ya'll!! My pregnancy, that is. Energy level is up. Spirit is high. Patience is controlled. Emosi yang masa first trimester a bit turbulent is now more controlled. Things are getting into place. And i just washed the toilet. Toilet bowl, floor, sink all sparkling white. Im on fire baby!

Kali ni pregnant, memang lain dari dulu. Dulu aku sorang. Aku tayah jaga sesape. Skang aku ada anak kecik, demanding attention. Penat dia lain macam. Patience is like on thin ice. Kadang aynur soh dukung tanak kasi letak. Arghhh...sabar farin. You are stronger than this. Aku selalu pujuk camtu bile aku rasa anger is sparking. Bile dah penat, makan pun jadi kelam kabut. Padahal dulu masa pregnant kat aynur aku cukup jaga makan aku. Aku pilih makanan yg elok. Aku banyak makan ikan...ikan yang mahal berlemak lak tu, telur pun yg mahal ada omega, sayur kalo aku tgk tak elok, aku amik je yg organik, aku makan yoghurt, aku makan kismis and kekacang, aku byk amik buah, sayur, minum air cukup. Air pun aku memilih. Air ada pewarna aku kurang amik...air gas kurang sgt, fast food sgt la kurang, caffein pun kurang. Jeruk-meruk is out of the list. Aku memang tak ikot hati. Aku ikot nutrition. Sebab dlm hati dan otak, aku nak anak yg "elok" and it starts from the womb. Then aku amik masa untuk exercise sekali sekala. Nak kasi kuat pelvic and muscle, supaya senang push. Pastu aku selalu ckp dgn aynur dan pegang perut...pesan dia supaya jd budak baik. Doa dia jadi budak sihat dan cerdik. Bagi dia dengar lagu Muse....ngehehe. Sgt la menjaganya aku masa aynur dulu. Tapi aku tatau la....dgn izin tuhan....aku puas hati dgn aynur. Buat masa ni, bagi aku dia membesar dgn elok. (aku jarang cerita pasal aynur kan. takpe, nanti bile2 aku ceite pasal dia)

Pregnant kali ni...aku rasa guilty. Makan agak kelam kabut...apa lagi nak pilih makanan yg elok-elok. Tapi ni second trimester sudah datang, aku sambut dgn tangan terbuka. Tenaga ada lebih, semangat ada lebih. Aku harap Allah kurniakan aku tenaga, kesabaran, kekuatan dan kesenangan. Aku berazam skang, nak jaga pregnancy ni sebaik mungkin. Little baby, get ready for second phase! Aynur selalu cium perut aku. Siap sembur angin macam aku selalu bwat kat perut dia. Pastu dia gelak-gelak. Nakal betul. Dia tengok baby, cukup seronok. Tu yang membuatkan aku senang hati. Maybe she will embrace this baby with an open heart too.

Pregnant kali ni jugak takde sickness. Sama masa Aynur. Aahh....im blessed. Org kata ntah-ntah girl lagi. Ntoh ler dek non....maybe la kot girl lagi. Aku pun tatau lagi boy ke girl. Tapi mengikut experience and mengikut pemerhatian aku, sign-sign ni taleh pakai. Mak aku dulu pregnant boy ke girl, sume takde morning sickness. Tatau la. Sbb aku ni pun tak sempat plan. Kan sperm laki ni ada dua jenis. Ada yg slow ada yg laju, where we can manipulate each kind of sperm to get desired gender. Pastu org kata ada makanan tertentu la ape sume. Ada la caranya nak kasi lekat untuk boy atau girl kan. Ni nak plan kebende....dia terus lekat unexpected derr. So kalau girl lagi, aku tak kisah la. Then adik and kakak can share many things and can be good friends.

Mengidam...takde. Cuma cam pregnancu dulu aku nak makan makanan pedas sahaja. Skang pun sama. Cuma skang ada tambahan sket...aku suka makanan masam. Makanan steam2 ni (melainkan steam itu adalah pedas)....sup-sup yg boring, goreng-goreng ni...last dalam list makanan aku. Maybe not even in the list. Thats a problem because its a big clash with aynur's food. Aku ada introduce dia dgn makanan pedas sket...tp dia tak tahan. Masuk je makanan pedas sket, sekonyong-konyong terus atas hidung dia berpeluh terus muka merah, terus luah makanan terus jerit nak air. And laki aku pun sama tak makan pedas. Jadi apalah nasib ku....huhuuh. Aku suke gile makan ayam penyet sbb sambal dia pedas. And biasanya aku makan sorang jer la. Dah sume tak makan pedas. Takde geng. Dulu aku makan ayam penyet mesti pedas berhingus. Sekarang selamba gaban aku makan. Air siap order last2 lagi.

Anyway, basically gejala pregnancy aku sangat mild. Gejala tu lebih kepada dalaman...emosi, kesabaran gitu. Memang aku kena overcome itu dan taleh ikot sgt. Tapi syukurnya aku...walaupun aku penat, walaupun aynur is demanding attention, aku consider ini semua tidaklah menyusahkan. Walaupun adik Aynur datang unexpectedly, there must be something good behind this. TuHan sahaja yang tahu....ini rancangan Dia.

x0x0.

Australian Open.

2012-01-30T13:16:00.000+08:00

woot-woot.....

same old face, this blog. nanti2 la aku tuka.

anyway, Australian Open Grand Slam just finished last nite. finished with an over 5 hours match between Rafael Nadal and Novac Djikovic. Between a Spaniard and Serb. tennis is a one man show. and to think they run around the court for 5 hours....phew....it takes the stamina of a horse tu do that. aku tgk dedua ekor kuda tu cam nak pengsan dah masa nak amik trophy.

Women's final doesnt interest me that much. never a fan of sharapova. and she plays azarenka...bagus juga azarenka sebelum ni. tp bukan final yang menarik.

Tennis has always been the family sport in my family. every Grand Slam kitroang akan tgk and discuss. i can safely say, everyone in the family plays tennis. sampai uncles aku pun...semua main. even my mom. tp dia hanya akan amik bola yg dia boleh amik. takder der main lari2....kau gile. tp dia dalam 4 , 5 thn ni tak main dah....dia sakit lutut. Bapak aku sakit lutut gak....tp org laki ni kan....boys will always be boys....they want to play their game. masa main tak sakit. lepas main kena merangkak nak naik tangga.

federer is not number1 anymore for these recent years. djoko is the first. tp aku tak suke dia. aku tatau...mungkin ada sentimen agama dan perkauman. dia serbia dowwhhh! and kim clijsters, my fave woman's player....only got to quarter final. ahh....only 1 more step to final and she was out. thats already cool...when i think she's the only woman with a family playing tennis in the grand slam. yg lain sume muda remaja.

Anyway, until the next grand slam.

Kena tukau dah niii....

2012-01-25T13:53:00.001+08:00

As-Salam...

My blog has the same face for few years dah kan. Its getting boring and outdated.

Laki aku dah komplen, gamba takde tudung kat blog tu tukar lerrr.....katenye...hehe.

Kita nak tuka blog kena la ada bahan dan material yang best. Aku nak cak cari dulu gamba yang cantik dan relevan sket utk letak tepi2 tu. Cari header cantik sket. Cari taglina cool sket. Pasti letak theme ke....hahaha. Beriye kan...ekeke. Eh musti....kita kan manusia suke melihat yang cantik2. Nak berupe cantik mmg kena beriye sket.

Aku takde per nak tulis pun...takde material nak tulis. Nanti2 la aku update leklok...

Ciao...

Sembang-sembang pempuan...

2012-01-09T10:27:00.000+08:00

Salam All...

Aku rasa aku dah dalam 11, 12 minggu pregnant ni. Tapi tak sempat jumpe doctor. Ada hari tu jumpe first time masa around 6 weeks......terus scan. Terus can see something blipping....thats the heart, already functioning.

Bende yang aku paling concern dgn pregnant and brestfeeding (aynur dan combine dengan formula milk dah) at the same time is diet and nutrition. Aku cukup risau ketiga-tiga orang yang aku kena jaga ni tak cukup khasiat. Khasiat-khasiat yang awal ni sangat la penting untuk tentukan kecerdikan mereka kelak. Ketiga-tiga orang yg aku maksudkan is Aku, Aynur and Baby. Aku takpe la....aku dah tua bangka. Tapi budak 2 orang ni la. Aynur for me is growing beautifully. Aku kena jaga pemakanan and stimulation dia baik-baik. Yang adik ni la....aku risau tak cukup. Aku kena research banyak-banyak lagi la.

Aynur plak...syukur dia minum susu formula dah. Tp secretly it breaks my heart to see her drink formula. Tak best dowh. Tapi apa aku bleh bwat. There's no other choice. Its better than no milk at all. Just few days ago, she wont drink formula milk at home. Dia hanya minum di nursery sahaja bile dia tau aku takde dan she has no access to boobs...(haha). Tapi beberapa hari kebelakanan ni.....dia minum botol bile aku suap! Allah, cam nak sujud syukur dah aku. Tapi tak sujud sbb aku dok pegang botol susu dia.. (pas dia abis minum, aku lupe dah....hehe). Tapi aku lega. Berkat doa...doa mak ni kan selalu makbul terutama jika ia demi kebaikan anak.

Dan aku jugak berjaya bersabar dan mengurangkan kemarahan. Ko tau la kan...pregnant ni penat. Bila ada anak kecil beronar....pergh....rasa hangin gile. Baru ni anak aku tanak pakai baju. Dia lari-lari sambil gelak-gelak tengok aku ikot dia soh pakai baju. Aku hangin terus marah dia. Pastu aku sedih gile. She obviously want to play with me je. Takkan nak main dengan mama dia pun taleh kan. Pastu aku berazam utk kontrol marah aku dlm segala hal. Pastu aku start doa....supaya aku diberikan kekuatan. Kekuatan fizikal, mental, kesabaran. Skang aku lebih tenang dan relax. Bile relax gini, aku rasa macam things are getting into place. Walaupun penat, aku telan. Aku rehat sikit, then aku telan semua. Layankan penat ni tak ke mana. Kerja rumah ada yang tetap kena buat. Bih sapa nak bwat kan? Takkan laki aku nak bwat sume. Anak aku beronar, aku cuba layan sebaik mungkin. Tak larat kalu, kalau abah dia ada aku terus pas kat abah dia. Kalau abah dia takde, aku cam marah dia sket pastu cuba alih perhatian dia plak.

Tell me....is that not hard work. Aku ada banyak kawan-kawan yang ada sorang anak kecik, with a new baby. And I like to ask them, how they handle it. Not easy. It takes hard work, and requires a good team work. A family is a team. It makes me respect all young working mothers nowadays.

We rule the world! =)

Tahun Baru.

2012-01-01T15:12:00.001+08:00

Salam...bertemu lagi kite dalam post terbaru saya. huh....cam pengacara nona tak...hehe

Dah new year 2012. 2011 is one hell of a year! I mean year 2011 is one year that keeps me running. A very demanding year, physically, mentally...and a year that demands a lot of attention, time and patience.

Kalau masuk new year, orang selalu buat azam baru kan. Ada orang kata, apsal nak kena tahun baru barulah kite nak berazam? Sebenarnye tak semestinya tahun baru pun kan. Kau tengah melepas dalam jamban pun boleh buat azam. Dah tahun baru, kite mungkin fikir nak start on a clean slate, omputih kata. Aku pun sama lah kan....

Antara bende yang aku nak usahakan ialah...

- aku nak beribadat lebih.
- aku nak tunjuk contoh yg baik kat anak
- aku nak sedekah lebih
- aku nak lebih bersabar dan kontrol marah.
- aku nak cari jalan untuk mengembangkan diri.
- lebih organize untuk ada lebih masa untuk diri sendiri (sambung hobi-hobi aku yg lama sangat tergendala)
- nak lebih-lebih berbakti lagi kat parents.
- nak lebih masa dengan hasben i...

Itu antara benda yang aku terfikir. Dah lama fikir. Tp aku tidak di jumpstart kan lagi. Konon new year ni nak jumpstart la kan. Ada orang takot nak share resolution ni. Takot orang nampak yg kite tak ikot. Alaa...kalo aku tak ikot pun....lepak aaa...hehe.

Untuk orang cina, tahun baru ni tahun naga. Manyak ongg wooo. Kawan cina aku cakap, cina sume berpusu-pusu untuk beranak tahun baru ni. Tak kisah la tu. Another year gone by. New one is up. Its up to us to bring the best in every year.

InsyaAllah la....ni semua plan sahaja kan. Kite cuba...

Politik skeett...

2011-12-21T15:00:00.004+08:00

Salam....

Nak pilihanraya ni, ramai sembang politik kot kan. Paling banyak dalam facebook aa aku tengok....hahah....aku mana la pegi kedai kopi skodeng org sembang kan.

Aku banyak observe je politik ni. Aku bukan tak amik tau langsung. Aku amik tau. Aku baca. Kekadang harakah pun aku belek kat kedai. Utusan, berita harian sume aku belek. Org cerita aku dengar. Tapi tuh la....susah untuk kite percaya semua cerita. Kawan tu kata anak menteri ni dapat tender ni la, kawan nu kata menteri ni dapat komisyen sbb beli kuda belang la...macam-macam kan. Berita tu kata camni, berita tu kata camtu. Aku ni, sebagai seorang yg sentiasa skeptikal dan berfikiran kritis, selalu tertanya-tanya.....MACAM MANA MEREKA TAHU SEMUA NI?

Adakah ini dari mulut ke mulut yang berpunca dari kedai kopi, yang tuan empunya mulut yang asal mmg sengaja mengada-adakan cerita? Atau adakah ianya dari org yang betul2 bekerja di bawah meteri itu? Ahh...politic is too dirty. Penuh dengan tipu. Media pun memang teruk. Apa yang penting, paper diorg jual. Berita mengata, dusta, fitnah sume print kasi kita baca.

Tapi kadang2 aku rasa cerita2 tu ada kebenarannya. Bukan semata-mata fitnah. Cume mungkin bukan semua. Menteri2 yang kite harapkan mmg byk corrupt. Pembangkang pun ada yang tak bleh pakai. Tapi tak semua teruk.

Aku ada baca satu blog tu, dia kata penting untuk kite bersangka baik. Jangan terus mengutuk, mengata. Aku setuju la dengan artikel tu kan. Aku pun kadang-kadang selalu mencari 'side' yang baik dalam satu2 berita tu. Jangan membezakan manusia dengan parti politik. Jangan busuk hati dengan org dari parti lain. Janganlah fanatik. Dr tulisan aku ni, aku rasa org bleh agak aku mmg atas pagar. Aku sgt skeptikal dengan semua belah. Dan aku pasan, ramai yang fanatik. Kalo korang pasan dalam facebook ada jer yang fanatik. Pantang ada topik sape-sape bangkitkan yang boleh dikaitkan politik ni, mula la emo. Pastu carut-carut and calling names. Aku rasa dia pun tak tahu dia cakap ape. Org begini senang percaya. Sbb dalam kepala otak dia dah sokong/benci satu2 parti tu...dia jadi senang percaya cerita-cerita. Pastu they keep grinding the story. benda baik satu2 parti tu bwat tak nampak dah. kutuk sesaje. niat baik satu2 parti tu terus hilang.

I always wonder, bapak aku sokong parti apa.....hahaha. He always keeps his opinion in politics guarded. satu sebab mak and bapak aku, rasanya menyokong parti berbeza.....ekeke.

Mengundi? Oh aku dah daftar. Dalam Islam pun mengundi di dituntut. Aku tak pasti hukum sebenar....wajib ke ape. Tapi dituntut gak la kan. Sbb mengundi ni tanggungjawab kan.

Aku rasa aku undi kucing aku, Ella....ok tak? Parti Kucing Sejagat.

problemo....

2011-12-19T01:24:00.004+08:00

its almost 1.30 am.

my baby-girl just slept. she cant sleep properly and early these few weeks because she's not getting enough milk from me. usually she'll get a full dose of milk before she sleeps, and then she'll sleep fine. malam ni dia tertido only selepas aku dok garu-garu bontot dia. kesian dia. i feel so damn guilty.

that's what being pregnant do to your breastmilk. the supply and demand concept suddenly doesnt work anymore. i nurse her just like before when my production was working fine.....but it simply dosnt work like that anymore. it dries up and re-production become so slow. it becomes full only once a day.

at times i feel so guilty. sad. angry. i even cry (yes im an emotional person). this girl is having a hard time accepting formula milk. aku takot sgt dia tak cukup khasiat. she'll only drink dutch lady kid 1-6 in the little boxes. her doc said that's fine if thats the only milk she drinks. but she's still having a hard time accepting that I'M the one who's giving her the milk. she drinks it in the nursery tho, but not with me.

If i give the milk to her, she'll look at me like im crazy....like she cant believe it....(haha).

im sorry baby girl. aahhh....how do you tell a wonderful little child that you're sorry and its beyond your control and nothing is her fault and she's the most awesome little girl and she's gotta drink formula milk else mama gonna be sad and might cry every night....?

oh well, that's what we women do. we cry. doesnt mean we're weak. but thats how we find strength. we cry before we get our strength. well at least for me. i did cry because i feel like i cant provide for her.

aku kena cari jalan. kena cari susu lain lagi nih.....

and to baby adik....you just chill inside my tummy yer. mama will take care of you, nothing to worry. ya Allah....tolong la budak kecik ni...

Surprisseee! Surprise indeed...

2011-12-13T10:49:00.006+08:00

Salam...

Sometimes god gives us 'anugerah' and at the same time, it comes with an 'ujian'. It comes together. In the same colourful packet.

Aku tak heboh sangat pasal berita ni kat facebook ke ape. Cume beberapa kerat kawan jer tau.
I am about 7 weeks pregnant. This is actually unplanned. Plannya nak breastfeed aynur for 2 whole years. Now she's only 15 months. I plan to start planning for a new baby when aynur is setahun 8 bulan ke atas.

Period aku lambat. Aku bwat derk. Ingat maybe sebab dia irregular sbb aku still breastfeeding. Pastu jadi lambat benar plak. 2 minggu. Jadi aku pk....oh well, maybe i miss my period this month. Tapi hati tetap rasa lain macam actually. Badan aku kan....aku tau aa. Ada perubahan sikit. Perubahannya ialah....aku cepat letih. Bwat derk lagi. Then one day...terasa nak check. Amik ko....sampai 6 minggu dah pregnnacy aku. Folic acid tak makan sume. Nasib aku makan multivitamin gak. Susu pun minum-minum gak.

Mula-mula aku dapat tahu, aku down. Maklumlah kite kononnya dah plan cantek punya. Tengok2 jadi cam lain kan. Aku sayang adik aynur, tapi adik datang terlalu cepat sayang. Aku risau aku tak dpt breastfeeding aynur. Pregnancy hormone suppress breastmilk production. Kalo anak aku dah kurang minum ok la. Ni dia still rancak minum. Aku risau aku tak larat nak kejar aynur yg baru bleh berjalan ni. Aku risau aku tak boleh nak jalankan tanggungjawab. Tapi aku pk balik....ramai gile kot orang beranak awal. Lagi awal pun ada. Lepak je. Diorg bleh bwat....apsal aku taleh kan. Lagipun aynur is 15 months, not very cepat kot kan.

Jadi aku telah mengambil sedikit masa....duduk sorang2 sambil bermuhasabah.

Tuhan lebih mengetahui. Allah has planned a better path. Apalah kite, manusia yang jahil ni tahu? Kite tak tahu apa-apa. Kite cuma tahu plan perkara yang KITA INGAT adalah terbaik..sedangkan Allah tau apa yang lebih baik untuk kite.

Aku telah muhasabah...

Allah takkan menganiaya hambanya. Allah cuma menguji. Anugerah juga adalah ujian. Manusia tidak lekang dengan ujian.

Cume aku mintak pada Allah, tolonglah Aynur with her transition to formula milk. Aku akan still cuba bg breastmilk selagi termampu. Frankly speaking, im not ready to stop breastfeeding. I love it. I love seeing her beautiful innocent eyes looking up at my face. Like she need me...like im everything to her. But my breastmilk is drying up.

Im sorry gegirl...we'll go through this together. Mama will always be with you, breastfeeding or not.

The fun part is, she is showing something new. She's attracted to babies. She see babies, mula la senyum simpul, excited. Pastu sibuk panggil "baby, baby, baby..."

Tengok baby seronok, tengok gamba baby mana-mana seronok. Menjerit2 panggil baby...haha. And to adik, mama will take care of you, dont worry. You must be one surprising whimsical baby too. Mama love you as much....

Oh ya...kawan2, bagaimanakah anda transition anak ke formula milk?

A bit about my father.

2011-11-30T13:38:00.006+08:00

Our parents have their own way, kan? We respect our parents, and the way they do things.

I mean old parents....our parents. They have their own way of doing things. Unlike us, modern couples. I salute my parents...not only becase they are my parents, but because they show us some things that are so good, we cant even follow.

My mother always tell me, dulu dia keje. Everyday, with little salary. But everyday also she manage to cook and do the house. She manage to send money to my grandma, and taking care of her still-studying brothers.

She said most of the time, she would be tired. But she say, one person who always push (in good ways, of course) and help her is my father. My father would peel bawang for my mother to ease and make things easy and fast for her. My father would bathe us adik beradik while my mom is cooking. Aku selalu ingat dulu, abah aku selalu sikat rambut aku lepas mandi kecik2 dulu. Dia akan belah tepi rambut aku, cam budak nerd (now anak aku plak kena camtu. lepas aynur mandi, dia akan sikat rambut aynur ke tepi. macam nerd....kekek). Pastu dia tuka pampers ke ape. Sementara mak aku masak, dia akan layan kitorang gaduh sesama sendiri ke ape ke. He sometimes would help to lipat kain. He would help to dodoi us. He would cuci toilet, tlg kemas rumah sume. Yang best tu semuanya tanpa disuruh. Bukan cam suruh budak2 simpan mainan gitu.

When he cares about something, he would really care about it. Dia sayang bebenor dgn aynur. kalau la aku bising sikit sambil aynur tido, mmg la dia sound aku. Kalau anak aku kena gigit nyamuk, lagi la kena. Pernah anak aku jatuh teruk....dia nangis. And he doesnt mind taking his own drink in the kitchen.

Skang bapak aku dah pencen, mama aku keje lagi. Lagi la byk bende dia bwat. Dia lipat kain, dia mop lantai, dia kekadang pi rendam baju2 yg perlu direndam. Skang kitorang dah besar, dengan dia-dia masuk dapur tolong mama aku masak. Even atok aku dulu pun selalu tolong nenek aku. Abah aku selalu cerita, "ayoh" (atok aku la) aku selalu duduk celapak depan pintu rumah sambil lipat kain. Dah pupus la aku rasa lelaki camtu. Tapi dalam masa tolong menolong tu, diorg tetap bertekak. Mak dengan bapak aku adalah couple yang hampir tidak pernah sebulu dalam satu2 hal. Sambil2 masak tu bleh dengar diorg bertekak. But they always agree to disagree. Betapa banyak diorg tak sebulu pun, no hal la! Walaupun gitu, there is something that make them stick together. Sometimes i wonder....

Sometimes aku rasa ada bende yang diorg tahu, tapi kite tak tahu. Tak cukup ilmu. They know something that we dont know. Tapi its general aku rasa. Its understanding, bertimbang rasa, respect, helping each other and showing that you care. And what i think is cool - its like....diorg sama-sama tampal mana-mana lubang dalam relationship. cover mana-mana yang tak kena. Its a two way relationship in every aspect.

And aku kekadang memang rasa, susahnye nak cari org cam bapak aku dah. Tapi tak ke kite selalu rasa camtu? Rasa cam bapak kite best?..... =) Rasa cam mak kite untung? Tapi parents kite memang tak perfect. Yang kite rasa kurang kena, letak belakang. They are human too kan.

Tapi lelaki skang banyak manja-manja. Tak gitu? =). Aku tengok zaman skang, yang pempuan saja kena kuat dan gagah. Yang lelaki tak berapa lasak dah. Kalau dengar atau baca cerita2 org pempuan ni, cam kesian. Eh, lelaki gagah juga...tapi diorg gagah fizikal je kot? Setakat gagah fizikal, aku pun bleh mengangkat bende berat selagi ada kudrat. Aku tak bercakap pasal lasak fizikal. Penting untuk kuat mental dan ada emotional inteligent yang tinggi. (Emotional Intelligence, or EI, describes an ability or capacity to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, and of others). Penting ada EQ yang tinggi. EQ adalah ability utk asses emotion org lain. Bukan IQ je tinggi, tak berguna. Pemandu teksi pun bleh ada IQ tinggi. Tapi dia bawak teksi je gak (bukan mengutuk pemandu teksi, sumpah). Kirenye EQ is important in life. Important to go forward and succeed (in relationship ke, ape ke). Pendek kata, kire cam considerate la.

Tapi cam aku kata, dah pupus la aku rasa lelaki camtu. Mungkin ada, dan sape yang ada laki camtu, memang diorg golongan nak pupus dah. Unless korang ajarkan anak korang, supaya jadi cam bapaknye. Gentleman gitu. Jangan bagi golongan begini pupus. They are like siberian tigers. Sayang....

Im writing this generally and carefully through experience and observation around me. From stories of mouth too mouth. From what i read. From my own observation. I dunno....wallahualam. Just my 2 cents.

Nunor at almost 15 months...

2011-11-09T14:48:00.003+08:00

Salam all....

My baby is 14 months. Well this 17 November she'll be 15 months. Time flies like a concorde. Too fast it worries me sometimes. Not really worry, but it got me thinking about many things. About money, about the suitable time to have more kids, about my lost times, about relationship with people, about career. Many things...

I kept thinking about it from time to time. But im not like all stressed out. I was just thinking about all that. You can't run away from all that.

Anyway, now that Nunor is almost 15 months, she has passed a lot of milestone. One that she is going through right now, is talking. Bila orang bersembang, i always observe her. She would listen and look at the talking person. She would look at their mouth (this doesn't always happen. sometimes she'd rather play). When i talk to her, she would listen, and respond in her language, like she understand. And we would have a whole conversation, like chicken talking to a duck.

Figuring out what she's saying is fun. Like few weeks ago, she was repeating a word. Aku mmg tak paham perkataan ape. It sounds like "cica" (pronounce it like in BM). So dia dok repeat cica cica cica cica. So aku dok fikir laa....amende la cica nih. "Tido" ke. Macam tak. Eh, tak paham la aku.

One day aku sembang dengan PakDin. Aku ade sebut perkataan "teacher" and suddenly dia sebut 'cica!". Then i realize....the word is "teacher". Teacher, because babysitter kat nursery dia sume bebudak tu dok panggil teacher. Hahahaha....i laugh out loud. Now about a month after that, it sounds more and more like "teacher". Like ctecher....hahah....gitu2 la.

Like recently, she's trying to immitate the word "jom". She cant say the letter "j" yet. So she cant really pronounce "jom". But she try. You gotta love that. She try to say the word. Maybe because it icks her that she cannot say it, when everyone is saying it. Tak boleh jadi kan! So you know how she pronounce it?

She says "pom".......hahahahah....now I'M laughing.

Whenever we wanna get moving and i say "jom, jom"...dia pun sibuk kata "pom, pom". Lepas tu dia ketawa malu-malu...cos she knows its not how you say it. Hahahah...nunor, nunor.

And she's also more adventurous. She has a box of toys, but that doesnt interest her anymore. Dia suka punggah laci, punggah kotak, punggah vcd-vcd abah dia, punggah beg nursery dia, beg aku, wallet kitorang, kasi pecah table lamp kaca aku. Arrggghhh...hahaha. Sabar jer la kan. And she starts to walk more. At 14 months, her longest step is 9. 9 step. Ok la tu....lambat sket. We know eventually she'll walk. Only the matter of time. But she's a pro at crawling tho....haha.

She likes to berlakon nangis, then when people layan dia, dia sengih. She likes to do things herself. Pegang gelas sendiri. Suap makanan sendiri. Tp masalahnye dia tak reti kan. Dan aku plak takde masa nak mengelap meja dan lantai yang berlemuih. So experiment dia limited sket. Ahh...aku yang tak puas hati. Tapi kalau biar, memang tak terlap la akuuuu.

Anyway..... =) aynur at 15 months....

Nak eksiden....

2011-10-17T15:42:00.002+08:00

Salam....

Korang bawak kete cemana? Aku bawak kete hati-hati la gak. Takde kelam kabut, menyusahkan orang. Especially ada anak dlm kete ni. Korang pun kena hati-hati tau!

Baru ni aku bawak kereta. Nunor ada dalam kereta, dalam carseat. Carseat tu kat seat depan, rear-facing. Aku nak strap dia atas carseat tak nak. Dia nak diri atas lutut dia, sambil tgk depan dalam seat dia. Aku nak strap dia kemain struggle. Konon habis kuat aa. Aku plak ada byk barang nak pegang sume. Aku pun letak dia dulu dalam carseat tu. Cadangnya nanti red-light kat mana-mana traffic light, aku ikat aa dia kan....

So aku pun bawak la kete. Bawak-bawak-bawak tu....aku nampak nun di depan....traffic light tengah kelip-kelip hijau....nak jadi kuning. Jalan tu agak busy. Mengingatkan traffic light ini adalah traffic light yang paling membuang masa dalam hidup aku, aku pun speed up sket. Aku tau memang sempat. Kalau tak sempat takde aku speed up. Sikit lagi nak lepas traffic light....tiba2 ada kete belah kiri aku nak pusing, nak pergi ke belah kanan. Mana boleh! Ko nak gi kanan ko kena dok lane kanan aa. Atau at least lane tengah. Jalan tu busy 3 lane kot...gile hape dari hujung kiri nak gi hujung kanan! Aku dah pucat, ngucap panjang. Aku dah la tengah speeding ni. Sempat tak break. Anak aku dah la tak strapped-on. Aku pun break la mencicit gaban. Aku tarik seluar anak aku, so that dia tak terus ke depan langgar cermin kete. Skang dua-dua kete dah berenti. Kete dia, kete aku...kete belakang byk lagi tunggu.

Memang anak haram jadah punya driver. Yang bawak kete tu pempuan. Kesabaran nak sampai had dah aku rasa. Kalau aku ada darah tinggi, mau aku kena serang strok dah. Sebab darah cam boiling sial. Aku rasa cam nak tenyeh muka dia atas tar. Itu aku punya initial feeling. Boiling gile ada beberapa sebab significant....

(1) Sebab aku bawak anak. Kalau sorang-sorang, marah-marah pun aku let go la. Ni kalau bawak anak, aku jadi cam mak kucing. Ko pernah berani nak gi kacau anak kucing baru lahir? kau nak kena gigit dengan mak kucing? Ha....macam tu la. Bile ada sesuatu yang macam jadi threat utk anak, aku mula la darah jadi boiling. Alah bukan mak kucing je....mak-mak lain pun sama. Sebab natural instinct dia nak protect anak dia dari harmful threats.

(2) Apa yang pempuan gile tu bwat is sooooo not necessary. I mean its a stupid thing. Selfish betul. Kalau kebodohan dia tu jadi kemalangan utk org lain cemana? kalau dah salah lane di atas jalan yang busy, you better find another way. Bukan bwat bende bodoh camtu.

(3) I didnt honk her. I should have. It should be a blast honking. But i didnt. Im not a honking-person.

Kadang-kadang, kita mungkin bawak kete berhati-hati. Tapi kite tatau org lain cemana. Bile dah kena, nak kire sapa betul sape salah pun tak guna dah. Kite kena jadi extra careful dengan diri kite....dan alert dengan pembawa-pembawa kereta seperti ini.

Semoga kitre dielakkan daripada bende-bende macam ni.

The cat story

2011-10-04T13:59:00.006+08:00

Aku bukak page ni awal-awal tadi. Tatau nak tulis ape.

I was thinking, did i really lost it? I mean lost my mojo, lost my ideas, lost my fun-ness? Well, i admit, some of my life is really occupied. Yer la, as life move on, you have responsibilities kan. Your life become occupied. Ada komitmen.

But whatever it is, you should fullfilled you life with meaningfull things. You should make yourself meaningful to others. You should fill your soul with real things. You should have lots of fun. This thinking brings me to an incident that happen some years ago. Some years ago yang selalu aku ingat.

I was around 23 years old. Or was it 24? Around that. That was my final semester in MMU. That semester I only took 1 subject, or was it 2. I have a lot of time. So I worked at a bakery shop near my house. On one of my working days....one time i went out to get drinks. On the way to buy my drinks, i saw a cat. A black cat. The cat looks healthy, strong. I think he's around 1 1/2 yrs old. You know what the cat was doing? He was chasing butterfly. Ah, that scene is so fresh in my mind. The cat was having so much fun. Chasing and jumping. The scene was very interesting, I stopped to look at him play. I called out to him. He stopped, looked at me....and continue play. Im a cat person. I appreciate animals. So when i see him play like that, it brings joy to me. After looking at him for a while, i remember i was suppose to get some drinks. So i went into 7-eleven.

After around 5 minutes in 7-eleven, i went out and automatically remembers the cat. I search for him. Takde. He was not there, where he played just now. Mana dia. Aku pusing kiri-kanan. takde. Ahh...mana dia. I dunno why, aku rasa tak sedap hati. Aku cari-cari....and suddenly i saw him. Hancut lulur hati aku. Sedih. Aku nangis terus kat situ. Depan kucing yang dah mati tu, depan org kat kaki lima kedai. Kucing tu kena langgar. Ahhh....cemana bleh kena langgar. he was so happy playing just now. This cant be!....

But he was so happy playing just now! Aku taleh terima hakikat time tu. I know its just a cat. well, maybe sebab, (1)-aku suke kucing (2)-he was so much alive before that (3)-he made my day, and suddenly he died?!

Oh well, life's like that. You dont know when is your due to go. From that moment on, i learn something. Live yourself to the fullest. Fullest doesnt mean go waste yourself, but do something meaningful to you and others. Go have fun. Do what you like. Be important to other people other than yourself. Leave marks on people. Like the cat. He left a permanent mark in my heart.

I hope there's cat heaven. I hope he go to cat heaven.

xoxo.

What being a mother has taught me...

2011-08-15T13:36:00.007+08:00

I've been a mother for a year. Aynur Khalesya is 1 year and few weeks old. She's my biggest achievement. Maklumlah, aku ni manalah belajar tinggi-tinggi. Orang lain ada masters, gaji riban-riban. Aku ada degree je. But this girl, she's grown up to be a beautiful, funny, whimsical toddler. What a sunshine. Sume orang rasa anak dia best. Tak salah. Sume org rasa camtu....aku paham sungguh.

Lepas setahun menjadi mak, aku sedar...how having a baby change your life. What having a baby has taught you. I repeat, the baby will CHANGE your life. You realize you can change into a different person. You realize all this while you worry about the most un-important thing. That zit on your chin?...nehhh! You realize there's more important thing than what you thought is the most important thing before.

Few things that being a mother and wife has taught me?

- Patience- Number 1 thing you should have. If i want to talk about this, its gonna be endless. From my baby is 1 day old....to 1 year old, bkn senang nak besarkan anak. Still remember how my baby doesnt sleep and cry a lot masa pantang. Thats colic. I thought i can never go through it. But i did....dgn jayanya. Hoyeahhh!!

-Strength - Physical and mental. You do need physical strength. Baby will gain weight so fast and you will need to carry her around. Stroller? Well sometimes you gotta carry her manually, plus her stuff. Now my baby is almost 9 kg, 75cm. Tell me if you dont need physical strength? You will need stronger arms and torso.

Mentally is more important. We control things with our mind. Thats why mental strength is important. I, myself have built this 'WALL' inside me. This wall is made of love, courage, patience and so many other wonderful things. So many things and people actually contribute to my wall. My baby, my husband, my mom, dad, siblings, friends, cats, flower, bradley cooper....haha. Whenever i feel like im falling, i will hang on to this wall. (please be informed, its not facebook wall)

-Health - Exercise, eat well. Dont do crazy dieting. Or over-eat. Or eat crap. If you are sick, tempang lah family. Jadi jagalah kesihatan....demi siri sendiri, demi keluarga.

-Time management - Manage time and establish routines. Then you might have more time which you can establish below;

-Me time - Important for you to rest, read a book, do things for yourself. Me time can be harvested when you manage your time. You have vacuum the floor, mop the floor, lipat baju, basuh baju, plan things ready to cook...then maybe you can curi few hours for your face mask and reflexology. Cukur ape patut, mencantikkan diri sket....haha. Its not everyday you can have me time. Be patient! This needs cooperation from your other half. Dapat once a week pun dah cukup bagus.

-Good food - Good food makes people happy and healthy.

-Understanding and helping each other - this doesnt need much explanation.

From my experience, all that above is important. If i explain detail all point one by one, i will only finish writing by tonight...kan. Other than being a mother, you still have your life, your house, your husband. You are still the chef, the cleaner, the wife. You still have double, triple job that seems endless. Kalau dibayar gaji, haha....mmg kaya. Aku ni plak jenis tak mintak tolong org. Im like that. Sejak kecik aku camtu. Mungkin sebab aku tak ramai adik beradik dan org laki dlm family. Aku ada sorang abg yang beza umur 7 tahun. Dia kawin umur 26 kot. Dah ada family sendiri. Pastu tinggal aku, adik pempuan, mak and bapak. Takkan aku nak nyusahkan abg aku yg ada family sendiri. Takkan nak nyusahkan parents aku je kan. Sekali-sekala ada la mintak tlg adik and parents. So aku mmg terlatih utk buat bende sendiri. Kalau org lain tolong, pastu tak bwat stail aku, aku jadi kureng suke plak dah. Nanti aku akan bwat balik sume.

Satu lagi aku selalu terfikir, ialah pasal parents aku. Aku terfikir, betapa kite sayang kat anak kite kan. Mesti mak-bapak aku pun sayang aku cam aku sayang kat anak aku. Kalau teringat sume tu....rasa macam...ahh, bersalah. What a lousy daughter i am. At 29 years old, im still learning and realizing things that i never see before. Kekadang insaf jugak....baru la rasa appreciate parents dgn lebih banyak. Pulak tu, parents aku sume bwat sendiri. Masa pantang parents aku jaga aku sendiri. Mak aku mandikan sendiri, sume sendiri. Aku pulak baby colic gak. Budak berangin. Nangis manjang. Masa tu nenek aku dok jauh kat kelantan. Ada tanaman nak kena jaga sume. Taleh jauh lama-lama sangat. Masa tu plak cuti bersalin 40 hari je. Ah...cam robot mama aku. Tabik spring la Ma!

Anyway, semua mak dan isteri ada macam-macam cerita. This all build us to become strong. Aku rasa puas dan lega. Buat lah dengan ikhlas. Buatlah kerana nak keluarga berfungsi dgn baik.....kerana Allah. Pahala orang pempuan ni, mmg byk datangnya dari menjadi seorang emak, seorang isteri, dan seorang anak.

A little update....

2011-08-12T13:55:00.006+08:00

Salam....'ola...

Oh, last post aku Februari dowww......skang dah bulan 8. Dah setengah tahun. Apekah!....orang berblog, dia nak berblog gak. Pastu takleh maintain.....salah siapa? Ape laa...!

Disebabkan aku lama tak post, aku update la pasal diriku ini yer. Nanti next next post aku bebel pasal lain plak. Bulan August kalu, kira aku dah berumur....jap...aku nak kira. Aku tak sure lak aku ni umur 28 ke, 29 thn ni.

2011

-1982

----------

Oh, 23 August ni aku dah umur 29 thn la kira....hahaha....what a number. Anywayyy....

Oh, there's another special birthday this month! A special birthday, with a special number! Its Aynur Khalesya 1st birthday. Ini lagi satu....hahaha.....budak ni dah setahun. Aynur, or fondly called Nunor by family is 1 year old this 17/8. Masih fresh di ingatan...puasa tahun lepas cemana aku struggle jaga dia. She's a colicky baby. Kata orang, breastfed baby ni kurang colic. Mane ade derr....nangih sakan every night sampai pagi. Nasib baik masa pantang je gitu.

Nak bwat party kat dia pun kurang sesuai plak bulan-bulan puasa ni. Next year pun sama kot. Takpe, nanti 3 tahun mama bwat birthday bash gitu....hehehe. This funny, whimsical, baby. Let me tell you a bit about her.

-Her face has changed. Dulu 90% ikot bapak dia. Skang dah mix...becomes sweeter...hehe.

-Dia dah setahun, tapi gigi baru ada 4 batang. Tu pun half tumbuh baru. Her tooth only came out by 10+ month. Almost 11 month.

- She havent walk yet. But she can stand and meniti berjalan slow-slow sambil pegang kabinet. Problem is dia suka menjinjit....she's practising to walk in high heels, i'm telling you.

-She's long.....or tall i should say.

-Best thing is, she's already talking. Abah Nunor selalu cakap dulu, kalau boleh dia nak Aynur cepat bercakap. Doa parents ni memang makbul ko! Dia tak la boleh bercakap - 'mama, aynur sungguh lapar. bolehkah kirenye mama suapkan aynur makan?' - dia boleh cakap simple words. She can pronounce mama and abah by 8 months. She can pronounce tokma (sounds more like omma) by 9+ month. She can say simple2 word like nak, air, bird, cat, Ella (my cat), fish (but sounds more like sshh), and some others. She can mock people, ngajuk ape dia sempat tangkap. She can say her name. She can follow your words. Sometimes if i count with her, she will follow....if she wants and she's in the mood. Babies are like that....you cant force. They want to do, they will do. They dont want....ko bwat la cemana, terbalikkan dunia pun dia takkan bwat.

-She starts 'muaahh' by 10 months. Dia akan muah with some souvenir on your cheek (air liur dia). Tapi air liur baby smells sweet. Lemme tell you, bau mulut baby fresh. Especially kalau dia breastfeed. Actually baby susu formula pun bau sedap. Sedang diorang dalam period hisap susu tu, memang bau mulut dia fresh. Dah start solid 100% aku tak rasa bau mulut wangi sangat la kot....hehe.

-Dia suke kutip benda masuk mulut. Ada baby yang tak macam tu. Anak aku ni kronik sket aku rasa....haha. Aku rasa salah satu deria utama dia ialah lidah. Dia kena rasa texture sesuatu bende tu dengan lidah dia. Baru puas hati. Anak sedara aku tak suka pun masuk benda dalam mulut. Cousin aku yang kecik tu pun tak camtu. Baru ni dia jumpa biji kurma atas lantai. Dia masuk mulut. Bapak aku nampak dia cam kulum sesuatu. Tengok-tengok biji kurma....terus la aku kena marah. Marabahaya ko....kot tercekik kang. Nasib baik tak jadi pape.

-She just started brushing her teeth. Aku la yg brushkan....bukan dia berus sendiri. Aku rasa dia senang hati bagi aku brush sebab dia suke letak bende dalam mulut dia....so dia suka aa bende dalam mulut dia tu kan. Lidah dia sama sibuk. Sampai dgn lidah-lidah dia aku genyeh.

-Dia tak suka pakai baju. Dia even tak suka pakai pampers. Tapi aku rasa bende ni lebih kepada dia suka nyakat orang. Bertuah punya. Lepas mandi, lepas lap badan dia, aku pakaikan pampers. Lepas tu aku cari seluar dia jap....pusing balik kat dia, tengok-tengok pampers sudah terburai...dia dah dok lari merangkak terkekek-kekek. Kena pulak kejar dia....pakaikan balik pampers. Pastu aku sarung seluar ke kaki dia....belum sempat habis pakai seluar, dia dah bukak pampers balik. Woooohhhh.....boleh naik angin aku weeyyy. Aku dah la patient sangat rendah. Aku pernah slap peha dia sekali...pastu muka dia terkejut. Aduu...kesian. But she knows i love her and would go to the end of the world for her. Anyway, kekadang untuk mengelakkan diri aku dari naik darah dok ulang pakaikan pampers dia, aku pakai je diaper pants. Senang....hahahha....taleh bukak dah.

Ramadhan ni, first time la aku tak terawikh. Kalau idak dulu memang selalu gi. Dah nak jaga anak kan. Aku tanak la bawak anak gi surau. Dulu masa aku single mingle, aku selalu bengang dengan orang bawak budak kecik gi surau. Budak kecik tu nangis la, merangkak depan org semayang la, bising-bising la.....bih takkan aku nak bwat bende sama kan. Kekadang aku semayang depan Aynur je. Tapi bile dia dah 'kerabat' kaki aku....susah aa kan. Pernah aku berdiri 5 minit tunggu dia lari dari kerabat kaki aku. Ha....tak dapat la kan. Stop semayang kot....(stop semayang sesuka hati adalah tidak boleh).

Gi pasar Ramadhan pun jarang sangat dah. Dah dulu selalu sangat gi. Dia jadi tak heran kot...haha. Kalau teringain pape baru cari. This year is simpler than years before....although more tiring.

Kepada Ila, selamat berpantang. Dia baru lepas dapat hero few days ago....

Semoga puasa kite diberkati dan tidak hanya mendapat lapar dan dahaga....amiin

Kim Clijsters

2011-02-02T15:00:00.002+08:00

Hello....
Howow u? =D....teehee...

The other day, I watched Australian Open. Aku tengok sikit je. Dulu sume Grand Slam aku tengok. Roland Garros, Wimbledon, Australian Open, US open....semua aku tengok. Tapi sekarang aku tengok sipi-sipi je. Tapi aku tau la peberet aku main. Aku suka Kim Clijsters. Lama dah aku minat dia. Since dia muda single trangtangtang lagi. Aku suka sebab dia punya main smooth je. Swing dia smooth and clean gitu. Badan dia pulak cam sangat ringan masa main (dulu la...skang masa main dia tak nampak ringan cam dulu dah). And she play things cool. Takde marah-marah, takde bunyi-bunyian yang annoying. Takda swing yang gaban laju ke ape. Semue relax and placing cantik.

Dia menang Australian Open pempuan. Aku gembira la kan. And amused too. She is married. Has a family. Has a baby (dah toddler kot anak dia). She's 27. She sharpen things up to get back in the scene, get back in the game. Awesome. Its hard work. Dia tinggalkan tennis bertahun-tahun, and now she won a Grand 'effing' Slam. It makes me more amused and being more of her fan. Dia boleh get back in shape, get back her stamina and strength.

She inspires me.

No this is not about losing weight, silly....haha. This is about chasing your dream. This is about doing what you want and being satisfied in life. And then succeed...over and over...like Kim. (Ceh panggey Kim, bajet kawan baik aa tuh...haha)

People might think that having a family, a cheeky little baby girl, a paycheck that makes things affordable (bkn kaya raya...affordable sahaja ye...hehe), a house, another house, a car and another car is great. What more could you want....right? Syukur.

Wrong. At least me (syukur tetap syukur). I feel like i still need to achieve certain other thing. 1 thing only. Satu bende je wey! Just one thing only. Aku dapat achieve tu, aku tak bising banyak dah. But the thing is, susah. Nanti ada la kata-kata cliche...fikir positive la, hendak seribu daya tak hendak seribu dalih la, di mana ada jalan di situ ada highway la....heh...susah. Cakap boleh la kan...

Bak kata aku...talk is cheap. Because everybody can talk, but not doing and feeling anything. Tapi takpe....we'll see if i can turn it around and become like Kim Clijsters.

Its gonna be a long and great weekend. 4 hari cuti...tak great ape tu. Happy Holidays. And Happy Rabbit Chinese New Year to my chinese friends.

Getting active...

2011-01-13T15:13:00.003+08:00

Ok, i update my blog now as frequent as me sprawling on the sofa with a book while drinking hot cocoa on a rainy day.

1 reason is, aku tak berapa nak ada masa. Another thing is, aku tatau nak tulis ape. Dua-dua alasan tu berkait rapat. Bila takda masa, ko mana la nak terfikir topic nak canang kat sini kan.

Anak aku dah 5 bulan....hahaha. Aku jadi cam dalam twilight dowh kalau pk pasal ni. Pasal anak aku dah 5 bulan ni la. Cam cepatnye la. Cam tak caya pun ada sikit-sikit. Tapi memang percaya la kan, lebih-lebih lagi bila atas bahu aku ada bau masam dia muntah tadi....hehe. Aku still breastfeeding, Alhamdulillah. Rezeki kecit tu.

Bila breastfeeding ni, badan tak naik. Kalori yang kau makan dah burn jadi susu kan. Dia lambat la kalau nak naik pun. Kalori eaten with a purpose. Aku tak exercise langsung. Tapi kan, one fine day, aku terfikir...apa jadi kalau aku stop breastfeeding. Damn! Dengan stamina aku out sume...apa la nak jadi ni. Mesti aku jadi belon la kan. Hot air balloon....ha amik ko, besar gaban.

Eh tak bleh jadi!.....

Jadi aku pun decide, i have to do something before things gets out of hand. I have to exercise. I have to play sports. Aku dah nak setahun kot tak berlari. Yer la....dari perut boyot, sampai anak aku dah 5 bulan ni kan. Cam pengkau je dah kaki.

But first thing, first....i have to get a sports bra. Will get it this weekend. Dulu aku tak exercise kalau tak pakai sports bra. So uncomfortable. Sekarang juga sama, aku takkan exercise kalau takde sports bra. Lebih-lebih lagi sekarang la. Sejak aku ada extra sket kat situ, kena beli baru la. Kena support lebih sket. Sekarang memang aku takkan tak pakai sports bra.

For starters, i'll do brisk walking and slow jogg. Then maybe next weekend, or another next weekend, i'll be playing badminton or tennis. And how can i forget swimming! Kena beli suit baru. Laki aku soh beli suit tutup aurat plak tuh...huhuuh. Aku bukan ape, tapi aku rasa suit swimming muslimah tu.....cam lawak badut freak show sket la (sorry mereka yang memakai). Aku sangat-sangat-sangat-sangat-sangat-sangat-sangat keberatan nak pakai. Sumpah aku sangat keberatan. Ada alternatif tak orang yang bertudung nak swim? Orang yang memang swim tau suit muslimah tu tak sesuai untuk swimming. How can you swim when the baju is flapping all around you? (baju dia besar ok). Tapi tatau la, maybe sebab aku tak pernah pakai lagi, aku dah judge sesuka hati. Tengok la cemana...oh well. Aku nak cari alternatif. Tanak aku pakai suit tu...walau laki aku kata elok setara mana pun.

Here's to a better health and good strong body!

After a few months...

2010-12-13T16:09:00.005+08:00

Hola....

Huwahhh...lama aku tak tulis pape ni. Busy ok...i busy.

Aynur dan 3 bulan lebih. Dekat 4 bulan dah. Besar dah dia. Masih fresh dlm kepala otak aku, masa nak bersalin tu...masa pantang. And then masalah masa aynur's first few weeks. Bukan masalah ape. She's a spanking healthy baby. Just Aynur is a colicky baby. Colic dia agak teruk dan pelik cos it goes around the clock. Orang cakap biasanya colic start senja, pastu tengah malam ok. Tapi dia, siang-siang buta pun melalak. Aku tido dalam 2 jam sahaja. On a good day, aku dapat tido 4 jam. Aku dok umah mak aku...tapi mak aku kerja. So mostly aku jaga sorang. Din balik kerja petang, mak aku balik kerja petang....baru la ada orang tolong sikit. Pastu malam diorg nak tido gak, esoknya keje. So malam-malam, aku berjaga dengan dia la.

At the age of 28, I cant believe im still learning something new. At the age of 28, baru aku tau pengorbanan seorang mak. Susah payah mak aku dulu. Mak aku cakap, aku dulu pun selalu nangis. In fact kitorang semua adik-beradik colic. Mak aku jaga sendiri je. No other help. Nenek aku dari kampung datang sekejap je. Seminggu je kot. Lepas tu mak and bapak aku on their own every day. Struggle sendiri dengan baby yang colic. Mak aku pulak dulu kerja kerajaan. Time tu cuti pantang 40 hari je. Lepas tu pergi kerja. Balik kerja struggle dengan colicky baby sampai pagi. Then entah tido tak tido, pastu gi kerja balik pagi tu. All of that, and still have so much love for their children and manage to run a family. It makes me appreciate my parents more nowadays. They do it themselves....susah payah from scratch. Aku kecik sampai besar, semua dalam tangan mama and abah aku sendiri. I appreciate them more now....at the ripe age of 28.

Skang aynur dah besar. Nak 4 bulan dah. Dia besar dalam tangan aku sendiri....90% (maybe even more) dalam tangan mama and abah dia sendiri. Parents aku and parents Din ada tolong, but mostly us. Semua orang akan rasa anak dia sangat special. Including me. Anak-anak kita, mestilah istimewa di mata kita kan. Bila aku tengok aynur skang, i feel like all the susah payah dulu, berbaloi sangat. Aku plak ada banyak time dengan dia sbb aku work from home. So bile aku cam takde scheduled work hari tu, aku jaga dia sendiri. Dia start senyum secara sedar kat orang dlm umur 1 1/2 bulan. At around that time pun, dia punya colic dah takde. Adui la, manis nye bila baby senyum kan. Nampak gusi merah-merah. Cair bergolek kat situ jugak dowh. Kalau aku tegur, nyanyi-nyanyi kat dia, dia senyum. Then dia start struggle nak bergolek 2 1/2 bulan. At 3 months dia memang pantang letak baring dah, terus dia akan pusing dan scan environment. Nampak sesiapa, dia tegur la....bwat bunyik dia. And dia minum banyak nye la susu. Badan aku susut masa pantang tu jugak. At 3 months (around 2 weeks ago) she's 64 cm, 6.3 kg. Good weight i think. Bile tengok dia skang...aku puas....hehe.

Aku sendiri kurang time untuk diri sendiri. Tak boleh jadi. Aku tak ingat bila aku shopping utk diri sendiri. Untuk kecantikan diri. I have to build myself up again. Dah lama aku melupakan diri sendiri. Im gonna book myself for a spa time. Buy make up, buy good clothes (breastfeeding clothes lagi), buy shoes, wear heels after months of stacking them somewhere i forget...these few months is dedicated to building myself up again, now that aynur is stable.

Here's to a new me....hehehe.

Labour Story

2010-09-22T22:05:00.004+08:00

Hello all....

Aku dah beranak...kehkehkeh. Aku dah beranak! Meh aku cerita sikit...sementara masih fresh ni kan. Aynur Khalesya bt Ahmad Khairudin lahir pada hari Selasa, 17/8/2010 pukul 6.20 petang. Bersamaan 8 Ramadhan.....errrr....bape hijrah ntah. Ampeh aku tatau....huhuuh. Dia lahir di-induced, kuar secara normal dengan berat 3.15kg. Anyway hari tu ialah sehari sebelum due date. Aku boleh kata la, lahirnya Aynur ni....macam accidentally induced....hehe.

Aku masa tu dah restless. 40 weeks takda sign apa-apa lagi. Aku nak baby keluar awal. Tapi nampaknya badan aku sama blur dengan tuan dia gak...no sign of labour. Badan aku cam tak ready je. Aku punya la berjalan, buat kerja rumah semua. Jalan-jalan kat shopping complex. Mana ada aku rehat-rehat. Nak kasi dilate cervix ni. Semayang terawikh tak main ler duduk-duduk. Aku semayang cam biasa ok. Berat yang amat. Nak tertanggal lutut aku nih. Nak kasi up chance for dilation punya pasal. Pastu doktor kata have sex, it can help dilate....ha, jalan! Tapi huh, takde derrr dia nak dilate. Takda contraction pun, no show at all. Doktor plak sejak 3 minggu lepas tu manjang je nak induce aku...aku pun tak paham. Dia kata baby punya size dah cantik...dia takut besar sangat. Mungkin dia tengok hips aku kecik kot. Dia kata nanti kepala baby keras susah nak kuar. Tapi dia kata its up to me, wanna wait or induce. Aku kalau boleh nak tunggu normal betul-betul. Tuh la usaha keras tu. Takot induce kalu, tak bukak jalan, memang kena belah la kan...akak nak elakkan benda tu dek non!

That day suppose to be another usual checkup for me. Doktor mula-mula seluk, check dilation. Dia geleng-geleng....takda progress yang banyak, dia kata. Pastu dia gi mana tah, aku nampak dia cakap-cakap dengan nurse dia....pastu dia datang seluk lagi second time. Then dia kata "Dah!". Aku tanye apa yang dah? Doktor cakap dah induce. Astaga...doktor telah menyumbatkan ubat contraction ke dalam ituuu secara diskrit sekali. Ish...aku saman jugak doktor ni kang. Nasib baik doktor ni best and aku kira bagus gak la....and nasib baik all went well. Kira cita-cita dia nak induce aku tercapai la gak...haha.

Well, that was at around 10.20 am. Doktor suruh dok dendiam selama sejam. So aku pun dok ler....baring atas katil sambil cuak va-jj aku taknak bukak kang. 20 minit pastu, aku dah rasa contraction....tapi tak sakit. Aku bleh tahan je. Oleh sebab doktor cakap dok diam selama sejam, lepas je sejam aku selamba tukar kain batik dan lompat turun katil. Bergerak semasa contraction (swinging your hips) adalah sangat membantu meringankan kesakitan dan menolong dilation. So aku jalan-jalan dalam bilik labour tu, amik gambar, then kuar ke bilik menunggu jumpa mak and adik aku yang tengah tunggu aku. Then tunggu Din gi belikan GCB McD kat aku....GCB was my lunch that day...hehe. I was surpsisingly calm (but nervous). Maybe i was calm because i feel its inevitable...aku tak boleh lari lagi dah. Its happening by hook or by crook.

By 2 pm, doktor masuk balik, check dilation. Ada progress...lega. Doktor pun pecahkan amniotic sac atau dalam bahasa Melayunya sarung ketuban...hehe. Rasa panas je air tu kuar. Habis basah atas katil. Darn...cam terkencing atas katil plak rasa. Pastu dia tuka pelapik atas katil tuh. Lepas pecah tu, contraction pick up dengan hebat dan aku mula rasa sakit....tapi tahan. Sikit je. Masa tu memang dah atas katil la. Tak leh turun dah....takkan nak kasi air ketuban meleleh menceceh-ceceh atas lantai kan. Dalam setengah jam...ok, perut semakin lenguh....semakin memulas. Boleh tahan lagi dalam 5 cm bukak tu. Din tanye, nak epidural ke. Aku kata tak payah (lagi) (tak payah lagi). Mana tau bleh tahan kan...hehe. Masa tu aku belasah gas mamai tu. Its called etonox. Some gas, mixed with oxygen. Ada class siot gas tu. Gas tu gunanya untuk relaxkan kita. Tapi memang ada kelas. Mula-mula tak rasa apa-apa. Lama-lama kepala aku jadi ringan gila. Mata aku tak boleh fokus apa-apa pun. Dalam erti kata lain, aku high. Semua benda aku nampak ada 2, 3. Jam kat diding tu cam menari beramai-ramai. Mana nak cari gas tu. Aku nak carik aa satu tong. Bawak balik. Boleh high kat umah.

Mula-mula gas tu mmg menolong aku relax. Addicted sial. Aku nak cari setong nih. Anyway, gas tu menolong masa mula-mula la kan. Pastu aku rasa badan aku panas berbahang. Macam aircond rosak je kan. Aku dah rasa berpeluh. Ok, contraction start picking up. Makin kerap dan makin sakit. Etonox mula menjadi useless sedikit demi sedikit. Etonox, you failed me! But still aku nak cari setong, atau dua tong. Aku dah genggam handle katil kiri kanan. Doctor masuk lagi, check dilation cervix. Dah terbukak lagi. Masa tu semue benda tak kena dah...aku dah campak mask etonox tu, dengan aircondnya tak berfungsi, kejap aku pegang Din, kejap aku marah tolak dia ape sume...tp dia tetap di sisi aku. Tak pernah tinggal....hehe.

Masa tu aku kata nak epidural. Nurse tu masuk kata tak payah la. Dah lewat nak epidural. Sayang je cucuk skang. Patut cucuk awal-awal lagi. Pastu contraction datang lagi. Woh, gila! Aku cakap aku nak epidural. Nurse tu pujuk lagi....kata tak payah. Wakluu la nurse...aku sakit nih (kata dalam hati). Contaction datang lagi dan lagi. Terus la aku meraung-raung nak epidural. Aku jadi sedih and frust plak kenapa diorang tanak kasi aku epidural. Apa salah aku!

'Nak epidural....kenapa dioarg tanak kasi epidural. Panggil doktor cepat....nak epidural!', gitu la aku dok meraung.

I think that was around 5pm lebih kot. Masa tu aku tak kira apa dah. Aku jerit je. Sakit gaban. Rasa seperti period pain kali sejuta. Ok, sejuta mungkin terlalu banyak. Seperti period pain kali lima ratus ribu. Sape yang tatau rasa sakit dia, you're in no position to judge me screaming....haha. Rupenya doctor anaesthetic dalam operation room. Patut la lambat. Pastu tengok dia terkocoh-kocoh masuk. Sekonyong-konyong, nampak doktor india tu seperti seorang yang paling hebat dalam bilik tu. Kitorang sume tunggu sampai the current contraction berlalu, pastu dia cepat-cepat cucuk tulang belakang aku at the 4th lumbar. Cant cucuk epidural masa contraction and surprisingly tak rasa apa...contraction lagi sakit. Dia cucuk tu rasa sekelumit je. Immeidately my pain was cut off 40%. Amazing. Thank god for epidural. Then gradually lessen and lessen til i cant feel the pain. Then pastu, tunggu dilation bukak sikit lagi....

Orang kata, pakai epidural susah pulak sebab tak rasa contraction and tak boleh rasa nak teran. Kena forsep la, vaccuum la, atau last-last kena belah gak. Tapi aku rasa tak la sampai camtu. Cos you can actually feel the contraction. Cuma tak sakit. And doktor pun boleh rasa/nampak contraction coming. So now that i have my epidural, im more relax. Doktor pun dengan tenangnye cakap, 'farin, contraction coming. Take a deep breath, push until 10". So aku pun teran la sampai 10 saat. The thing is, memang tak rasa ko teran tu. Part tu la orang kata susah tu kot. Aku buat je motion teran tu kuat-kuat. Bayangkan ko sembelit and nak push poop ko yang besar batu (atau bayangkan nak push baby pun boleh...huhuuh). Nasib baik energy aku banyak lagi time tu. Dah makan GCB dengan air milo kan sebelum tu....haha. Strategi sebenarnye tu. Strategy for energy.

Bila dah keluar kepala baby tu, doktor kilas bahu baby, terus tarik the whole badan baby. Then....bam! doctor letak baby atas badan aku. Aku boleh nampak baby yg masih biru, berlendir-lendir lagi atas perut aku. Depan mata aku diorg sumbat tube dalam hidung baby untuk buat suction clearkan lendir dalam paru-paru baby. Tercekik-cekik Aynur aku tengok....hehe. Haha....i just delivered my baby. Im so cool! (perasaan pada diri sendiri....padahal sume pempuan pun beranak kot). That was at 6.20 pm. I cant really tell the chronology with exact time in between before the birth. Aku tengah risau dan sakit. Aku tak sure plak bila aku start meneran ke ape. Tapi yang aku tau, tak lama.

Parents aku first datang melawat. Diorg masuk dalam labour room terus. Then aku pun masuk ward. Aku rasa gila panas. Padahal suhu dalam bilik tu aku turunkan sampai 10 celcius ok! Aku tetap rasa panas berbahang-bahang. Din dengan nurse dah terketar-ketar sejuk. Ntah, peluh and bahang tu cam kuat gile, lambat plak tu hilang. Sampai ke malam tu aku kepanasan. Padahal aircond jalan je. Then people start coming in...tgk Aynur. Esok petang tu, sudah balik rumah. Aku punya stitches sikit je. Doktor kata 1.5 cm je koyak. Cepat jer aku sembuh.

I consider myself having an easy delievery, syukur pada Tuhan. Aku sakit lebih kurang selama 2 jam gitu je. 3 jam la paling lama, sebelum dapat epidural tu. Pastu the labour process pun sekejap. Berkat doa parents aku yang semayang hajat selalu untuk aku. Berkat doa adik beradik. Berkat semayang hajat dan doa auntie dan uncle aku...berkat doa suami aku. Doa aku sendiri di bulan Ramadhan. Next pregnancy and delivery.....siapa yang tahu....huhuuh.

Skang Aynur dah sebulan 6 hari. Berat dia dah naik 1.5 kg in 1 month. Gilos...aku tak larat nak angkat...help! She's enjoying life already!...hehe (berserta colic, menangis malam-malam, kembung perut, muntah-muntah dan berbau hamis akibat muntah...the usual stuff =D). Aku punya weight dah turun asal. Breastfeeding and penat menjaga Aynur punya pasal (goodbye long sleep at night). Tapi muscle mass still low. That means berat aku skang still bukan berat asal aku, walaupun dah turun asal....haha...paham tak? Understand the konsep of weight and muscle mass and you know what i mean. Have to rebuild my muscle...

(No....Ramadhani is never is my baby name list)

Til next time....

Lambat benau nih!

2010-08-13T15:39:00.002+08:00

Ramadhan yang best sudah datang. Nothing beats eating good food together after a long day of empty stomach. Not forgetting sembahyang terawikh yang sebenarnye amat baik untuk menolong perut mencerna makanan.

Tapi aku tahun ni tak kuat la. Ingatkan tahun ni first time puasa dengan suami kan. Boleh masak kat dia, buka puasa sama-sama. Atau gi cari tempat best nak berbuka. Lepas tu pergi sembahyang terawikh sama-sama. Tapi tak dapek la. Skang sempat la lagi nak puasa. Tapi kalau aku puasa, mula la aku terfikir....baby cukup air ke ni. Tiba-tiba pulak dia sedu kan. Selalu baby hiccup kalau aku tak cukup air. Aih....sedikit susah hati la kan. Tapi aku puasa jugak. Bila aku rasa cam takut tak cukup air, kang heartbeat dia naik lagi....aku berbuka la (oh hari tu heartbeat dia naik...doc suspect heartbeat dia tinggi tu sebab temperature aku naik sikit, 37.4 je pun). Nak sembahyang terawikh pun aku mungkin tak cukup kuat. Tapi memang aku paksakan jugak la...takde la aku nak manjakan diri sangat. Pastu nanti nak beranak....memang sepanjang Ramadhan la kan aku berpantang.

C'mon Farin....c'mon! Redah je...! Cabaran sungguh. Bayangkan banyak mana aku kena ganti ni. Nak ganti 8 hari dalam setahun pun kemain payah. Ni nak ganti sampai sebulan.

I'm actually restless. Not good Farin....not good. Anxious. In agony. Aku nak masuk labour! But labour will not start on a stressed out body. Not good for me, not good for baby. Baby will come out unhappy if im too stressed and to forcefull... I'm in the 39th week today. Why i'm stressed? I want baby to get out now....hahaha. I have dilation, but i dont feel any contraction. No painful contraction. Everytime perut mengeras, im hoping it would progress to be painful. But no....not painful. Means no labour....yet.

Why i need baby to come out now?.....well....i dont have a good reason actually. Selain sebab tidak sabar, dan sedikit penat. Badan aku sakit-sakit. Lutut, tapak kaki, peha, crotch....arghh. Selfish reason maybe? Maybe so....haha. Aku ada terfikir nak induce....tapi mak aku cakap tak payah. Due pun belum kenapa nak kecoh, dia kata. Nak bwat ape kan, dia kata. My condition is fine. Blood pressure aku ok, gula dalam darah ok, heartrate baby ok, movement baby ok...contraction je kureng. Kena tunggu sikit lagi. It will happen eventually.....they say. Because baby will come out when she's ready...and also when my body's ready.

People say first time pregnancy tend to be late babies. But there are some people who naturally go to labour early for first babies. Ahh....untung mereka. Orang kata baby lambat ni baby laki, because guys are naturally pemalas sikit kan. Ada orang kata, baby lambat ni girl....tau la, girls kan ada je bendenye yg buat lambat. Heheheh...sampai skang aku memang tak tahu gender sebenar dia la. I never think about the gender since im 7 months pregnant.

This makes me a bit grumpy too. Orang pregnant kadang-kadang memang senang marah kan. Aku tidak la camtu, tapi kalau orang tu memang sengaja lagi bwat aku marah, dia memang kena sound la kan.

Hari tu aku kat Giant, alone. Din belum balik keje lagi masa tu. Aku beli groceries sikit. Boleh la exercise sket kan....jalan-jalan. Keluar je dari Giant, aku carry la semua plastic bag tu. Malas pulak nak heret trolley ke kereta kan. Plastik tu pulak boleh tahan la berat. Aku pun jalan la nak kuar. Tiba-tiba ada orang insurance stop aku, suruh beli insurans untuk baby. Aku kata takpe, taknak....aku cakap elok-elok. Pastu dia ikut aku, dia kata "tunggu dulu kak, kak kena dengar ni dulu". Aku kata "takpe mekasih, saya tak mahu". Pastu believe it or not....dia tak putus asa okaaayyy, still trying to stop me. Pastu memang aku stop la kan. Aku tengok muka dia siap dengan berkerut-kerut muka aku, seraya aku berkata, "eh, saya penat ni tau tak".

'ok kak, sori kak,' dia kata sambil angkat tangan kat aku.

Tu aku rasa memang carik pasal namanya. Aku dah cakap elok-elok awal-awal....siap dengan senyuman manis lagi. Nak main-main pulak ehh dengan aku....hahaha. Grumpy ke tidak?

Hahaha....i hope my next post will be different. I hope my next post will be very different.

Baby scare me.

2010-08-09T12:45:00.003+08:00

The other day. Baby gave me a scare.

Baby didnt move. Baby is usually very active in the morning. Full of energy. Baby will wake up really early, pastu dia buat kalut ribut dalam perut aku...hahaha. Aku pun akan terbangun and layan dia kejap. Pergi breakfast, then dia golek-golek, push-push lagik, then dia akan rilek (tido la kot) kejap. Lunch time dia bgn, demanding for food....tadak food, dia buat kalut lagi....hehe.

Hari tu, aku bangun as usual....but its weird, because baby tak gerak. Hhmm....ok, takpe. Aku pun makan pagi, expecting baby to move after food come down. Hhhmmmm.....tak gerak. Aku sedikit panik. Aku pun ketuk-ketuk sket perut....hhhhmmmmmm.....tak gerak gak. Aku tunggu jap sebelum panik tahap gaban menjelma. Tunggu dalam 45 minit. Then aku ketuk and goyang-goyang perut dengan lebih ganas....hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm.....tak gerak juga yer. Alarm is already ringing in my head. Immediately aku kejut din, gi buat CTG (cardiotocograph - check heart beat baby and my contraction) kat spital. Thank the holly Allah, heartbeat still as strong as ever. Later after almost at lunch, baru dia active. Thank god thank god thank god.....

Its a horrible moment for me that time. Nangis? Toksah cakap la....tapi aku tak nangis depan Din. Aku tanak dia pun panik. Sementara aku tunggu Din mandi tu, memang aku doa and nangis tak sudah la. Din kuar je cepat-cepat aku lap air mata and we go straight away to DEMC. Baby bwat camni kat aku 2 kali sepanjang pregnancy ni. Dulu sekali masa 6 bulan...dia bertapa tak gerak. Aku panik gile babun....pastu time-time panik tu aku pi bedal banyak gile ceklet....pastu dan-dan dia gerak. Ha, kamu suke ceklet yer baby? The second time is few days ago ni la....horrible moment. I was begging God and baby not to do this to me....it feels almost like being dump (aku dengan Din dulu pernah ada problem kejap where i was dumped....uh'huh, by him. the feelings is almost the same, just this is more horrible.)

I ask baby, why he do like that. Why did he (or she) scare the life out of me...

"Kenapa mama? Mama jangan la takot. I'm stwong, you see. Baby kan selalu push mama kuat-kuat. Im a stwong baby!"

"habis tu kenapa tak gerak-gerak mama goyang?"

"i was busy counting my fingers ma. abah kan selalu ajar baby kire."

Aihh....budak ni. Hehehhe.....anyway, i always have conversation like this with baby....ekekkee. I predicted that i will give birth by this week. Kalau semua ready, InsyaAllah. I already have dilation. We'll see....

Cuak nak Beranak

2010-07-27T14:22:00.002+08:00

I am counting weeks....still.

I am now in my 36th week. Khamis ni aku dah 37 week. After 37th week, baby is considered full term. Baby yang lahir selepas 37 minggu adalah dikira normal dan full term.

So after this i might be counting days, y'know...

Jumaat ni aku punya routine weekly checkup. I love my checkups. I know Din also loves it. Satu sebab, of course sebab aku boleh tengok baby. Thats the best part kan....hehe. Din juga never fail to go to any of our checkup. Dia punya insurance cover checkup. So aku kadang-kadang suka-suka nak 3D scan. Hamik ko...RM300+ sekali checkup 3D. Kalau scan biasa dalam seratus lebih je. Doctor aku plak cool. Suka aku. Aku rasa doctor ni cool gila when she bluntly said to me and Din...."have some sex. it will help a little". Gladly doc!

Aku sebenarnya cuak. Cuak nak beranak. Aku tengah cuba bersedia mentally and physically. Tapi aku tatau nak bersedia macam mana dah. Cuak tetap ada, because you dont know what will happen. You can expect it....tapi you will never know what's gonna happen until you're there, at that moment. Tapi bila fikir balik, kawan-kawan keliling aku pun beranak...ok je. Hidup je kan. Millions of women around the world beranak every day. So its the most natural thing to happen to a woman. It maybe hard....but its doable....boleh dilakukan. Jadi aku pun interview la ramai kawan-kawan aku pasal beranak ni.

Ila - aku excited la makin dekat nak beranak tu. ntah kenapa aku tak rasa takot pun nak beranak. Aku pakai epidural, sbb aku induce. Sakit sgt.
Rusma - takde ape la wey. aku beranak normal, takde epidural. mmg sakit la. tapi once ko tgk baby, hilang sume. kejap je. Tapi lepas tu mmg sakit la masa nak sembuh tu....hahaha. (laughing included) wey, baik ko jangan saiko2 camni wey. Tunggu je time tu. Sume bende2 ni natural la... Manchett - Alah, nanti ko dah 8, 9 bulan, ko malas nak takot dah. Ko nak baby kuar je sebab dah tak larat sangat. Eh, ko nak beli set bersalin amway tropical herbs? kalau nak cakap la tau...aku pakai gak mendalah ni dulu. Bagus gak.
Kawan opis - Ala, bersalin mesti la sakit. Baca la doa2 sket. baca doa nabi yunus dalam perut ikan tu utk senangkan bersalin.

Kata-kata ini agak melegakan...somehow. Tapi aku still cuak. Macam aku cakap tadi, i dont know whats gonna happen. Because one thing that i know about myself, i have a low tolerance for pain. Nak cucuk ubat tetanus masa 5 bulan pregnant dulu pon aku berpeluh cam ape dah. Im trying to get my mental and physical ready, but i think i freak myself more. So cemana agaknye aku nak get ready mental dan fizikal ni. Aku ada gak cakap-cakap dengan baby.

"Baby, your head stay down dan muka pandang belakang ok. Thats the best position for both of us. Bila sampai time, mama will push you and you push urself out too ok. You help mama, then semua cepat. Baby boleh jumpe mama and abah cepat-cepat....i know you're a good baby."

Then semalam aku ada cakap dengan baby....

"Baby, do u wanna come out early? Pastu boleh jumpe mama dengan abah cepat2. Bleh jumpe atuk, tokma, tok dengan tokwan cepat. Semua orang tak sabr nak jumpe baby ni. Kalau baby dah ready, baby kasi je signal ok. we will get you out"

Lepas tu malam tu jugak dan-dan aku rasa sakit kat pelvic. Sakit kat pangkal paha dan lower back jugak. Ada rasa pressure and ngilu sket. Risau kejap. Baby is still moving, no problem with baby. I think baby is engaged. Hence the weird unusual pain. We'll figure this out this Friday. Excited kamu ni baby.....

Hehe.....till next time folks.

Kasihan

2010-07-15T14:46:00.004+08:00

I have a problem.

Din pasang perangkap lipas kat dapur rumah. Alaa....yang Ridsect tu. So sekarang dlm perangkap tu lekat la 2 ekor. Din kata tinggal dulu perangkap tu, nanti kot ada a few lagi nak lekat masuk. So kitorang pun tinggalkan la perangkap tu.

Jadi bila aku masuk dapur nak masak, aku dapat la tengok perangkap tu dgn dua ekor lipas kat tepi tu. Masalahnye ialah, aku jadi belas kasihan pulak kat lipas tu. Aku memang takut lipas. Aku geli, aku takut. Aku pernah kata kat Din, aku rela jumpe hantu dari jumpa lipas, di mana itu mungkin satu statement yang agak extreme dan ditokok-tambah. Kalau lipas tu mati terus, takpa. Ni tak mati, dia terlekat kat perangkap tu. Do you know a cockroach can live up to 2 weeks without the head? So u can imagine, lipas tu memang tak mati la terlekat dalam perangkap tu a few days. Oleh sebab aku sangat belas kasihan kat lipas tu, aku pun pi letak koko krunch sikit dlm perangkap tu. Then i feel stupid. Ah, takkan aku nak bela lipas sebagai binatang kesayangan plak kan. At last aku amik spray lipas, spray dalam perangkap tu dan buang semuanya. There, you are out of your misery, cockroaches. I have to kill you. Rest in peace.

Orang kata, jangan suka-suka bunuh binatang masa pregnant. Itu aku ok, because i do have some respect towards animals. I love animals. Aku tak kisah tu, sebab aku mmg tak bunuh binatang sesuka hati (kecuali kalau semut tu lawan tokey kan. Depan mata aku nak makan dia bleh nak join sekali. mmg aku kenyet la ko semut). Tapi aku anggap lipas ni sebagai threat. Sebagai threat terhadap keselamatan aku even. Sebab aku mmg akan menjerit dan lari kelam kabut bila nampak lipas. Aku memang dah tak ingat perut aku besar cam rumah ni, memang aku akan berlari macam Hussein Bolt (go figure). Jantung aku plak akan berdegup sangat laju. So i think its dangerous for me. Kalau aku lari pastu terjatuh ke? Atau aku lari pastu terus nak terberanak ke? Bahaya la aku rasa. Jadi, perang terhadap lipas akan terus berlarutan. I consider it a threat to me. Mereka mesti pupus dari rumah aku.

Tapi aku memang senang kesian la skang. Leceh btol. Semalam aku gi makan. Pastu tak jauh dari tempat makan aku, aku nampak ada seekor kucing yang kurus. Aku fikir, kenapa la takda orang nak kasi dia makan ni. Padahal tak jauh sangat dari restoran makan tu. Kurus je dia, baring sorang-sorang nak tido, takut-takut je dia tengok orang. I have an immediate feeling to go buy some cat food kat 7-11 tu and give the cat. Tapi masa tu aku dengan Din. Kang dia kata bini dia ni awal sangat belum beranak dah meroyan ni....susah plak. Lagipun masa tu nak melawat kawan dia sakit. Jadi nak cepat. Aku ni jenis tak hirau orang. Kalau aku sorang memang aku dah bagi dia makan. So aku pendamkan je. Jalan lepas je dari kucing tu, aku terteleng-teleng tengok dia terbaring. So now, aku teringat-ingat kat kucing kurus tu. Godamit!...arghhh! I hope he's given some chance to live happily.

Tu masalah aku skang. Aku senang kesian. Pastu aku akan teringat2. Leceh ko tau! Leceh!

Anyway....

Last nite peanut has a series of hiccup. Aku tengah tgk tv. Pastu aku pegang perut. Then i feel there's a light 'henjut' kat perut aku. Very light. Continous. Rhythmic. Din pun ada rasa. Hehehe...peanut tengah hiccup la tu. Dulu tak boleh rasa. Sekarang dah besar gini, memang boleh rasa la kan. Mesti dia tension hiccup-hiccup ni. Anak sedara aku umur 7 bulan, si Haykal tu, kalau hiccup moody habis.

Oh, tomorrow we have a date to see peanut. Our weekly checkup. Till next time.

Berat dah...

2010-07-06T11:51:00.003+08:00

Hyenas....

World Cup dah nak habis. I've enjoyed the times. I've enjoyed the times when we fell asleep on the couch and let the tv watch us sleeping. Tapi kebanyakan masa aku akan dihalau masuk tidur lebih awal. Bapak baby marah aku tido lambat. He said i need rest and baby need to sleep. Tanak bising-bising. Oh well...

As predicted, the only teams left are the giants. Some giants left early, surprisingly. My team, Portugal lost quite early too. My team lost to Din's team, Espana. Ampeh, kalah dengan team laki aku plak tu....hahah. And now im keeping an open mind. Although i kind'a support Espana now, i think Germany is really strong. They have strong defence and attack. Netherlands, they say has the chance to hold the cup for 4 years now. They were quite strong last 2 years in Euro Cup. They might have the chance actually. But i dont support them.

But there are talks about this years game. They say that some game are 'bought'. I thought thats impossible. I mean this is World Cup we talking about. Those things cant happen. You cant buy game in WC. This is not Liga Perdana! But its kind'a weird how the Argentines can lost 0-4 to the Germans. Its too much. I mean its already the semis ok. Only the best teams left. They cant lost that much. And Messi looks dumb suddenly...and there's also rumors that The Maradona actually owe's the government 159 million in taxes. He needs money. So it is a funky rumor...you know.

Anyway....

Aku dah 33 minggu dan 6 hari skang, pregnancy aku. Ah, kire 34 minggu la kan. Jadi secara teorinya, aku ada 6 minggu lagi. 6 minggu dan 1 hari. Berat dah ni. Aku nak berjalan pun dah payah. Dulu aku selalu kata, kenapa orang pregnant jalan macam tu. Cam penguin gitu kan....was just wondering that time. But now hamik ko, aku pun berjalan camtu...hahhaha. Aku dah naik dalam 11kg skang. Dari 51kg, kepada 62kg lebih skang. You cant help it. Dulu masa 6 bulan, 7 bulan aku jalan ok lagik. Laju jek aku jalan. Dah la perut aku memang memboyot ke depan. Jauh ke depan ok perut aku....haha. Skang ni memang tak leh laju-laju. Aku nak masuk 8 bulan dah, berat. Kalau aku cam laju sket, dia rasa sengal kat bawah tu. Setiap kali kaki melangkah, ko kena shift weight ko ke kaki itu. So nampak la macam ko memang menekan kaki tu ke lantai cos you're shifting the weight to that leg. So nampak la cam penguin. You look like a walking bell....kiri-kanan-kiri-kanan....hahaha.

Orang kata kalau nak senang bersalin normal, rajin-rajin la berjalan. Berjalan yer? Bunyik cam senang kan? Ko ingat senang nak berjalan bile dah berat cam gajah ni? Tunggu la kot time baby dah engage kat pelvic bone aku kan. Memang kalah la penguin. Penguin tengok pun tabik tuan la.

Well now i feel like i've fallen in love with life all over again. Dulu cam ko ada routine kehidupan kan. Pergi kerja, balik kerja, makan, tido, berak. Now aku still jugak la bwat benda-benda tu lagi kan....cuma with a different feeling. Bila aku nampak matahari bersinar cantik....aku cam seronok. Like aku tak sabar nak baby kuar and let him feel and see the sun. Bila ada awan cantik biru, i wanna show baby how big and blue the sky is. Bila ada rainbow, aku rasa aku nak tunjuk kat dia. Bila ada bunyi burung yang hinggap kat beranda rumah aku, aku jadi excited...and i say "Baby, you hear that. Tu la bunyi burung". Bila aku tengok ada padang besar, aku nak kasi budak ni lari laju2 kat padang tu nanti....

You know....stuff like that. So many things to show and teach a little kid. I'll never look at simple things in life....the same way again. And no, i dont want to think about the sleepless nights and tiring days yet...nope.

Till next time folks...

Story of my baby's gender...

2010-06-16T12:23:00.013+08:00

Hyenas....

Have i ever told you the story about the gender of my baby?...haha, yes, this is yet another baby post.

I'm one who is very concious about my body changes. Any changes, any pain, i will try to diagnose myself first, then only i went to the doctor. I even can identify why, how or what i ate that makes me feel like this. Anyway, who needs a degree to know stuff when you have internet right?...ekekke. So when i got pregnant, its me who actually detected my own pregnancy. Home pregnancy test cant even tell the result right at first. At first i was negative. I detected the early signs and I feel that i might be pregnant. Moreover my instinct is strongly saying i am. I have a reason to be pregnant. The second time after almost 2 weeks later, then only the pregnancy test kit give me correct result.

So, when i got pregnant, i have a feeling its a baby boy. So i trusted my instinct. I bonded to my baby, boy style. I sometimes talk about sports, about football....you know, about boy stuff. I imagine him to be a sportsman and lasak and clever like his dad. Sometimes i imagine my little boy playing football and me going to his every game and cheering his name until he got embarassed and forbid me to come to his game....hehe (biasa la....mama dia mmg selalu excited lebih).

At 4th month we tried to have a peek at baby's crotch. Masa tu baby kecik lagi. Aku ada gamba ultrasound dia, tp aku malas nak upload la. Masa tu dada dia sume kecik, kempis lagi. Nampak kepala je besar. Pastu doctor pusing2 mendalah ultrasound tu nak carik kangkang dia, tiba-tiba dia pusing. Tunjuk bum dia. Aku siap nampak buttcrack dia...haha. Ok, takpe fine.

At 5th month, kitorang gi checkup...and we tried to look for the crotch again. Doctor tu pusing2....aih, susah gak nak tgk. Dia kepit kaki kemain. Aku bleh nampak kaki dia rapat bersilang. Alahai baby mama....kemutnye nak tunjuk. Senang la mama nak beli baju kamu nanti kecit. Ok la....takpe la kan. Takde rezeki.

Masa ni perut aku dah nampak naik. Orang dah mula main teka-teka tengok perut aku. Mostly, like 95% kata boy. Masa ni aku juga sangat tidak sabar. Nak carik barang pun cam tak puas sebab nak kena carik kaler neutral2 gitu. I start to do silly quizzes for fun to see if i have a girl or a boy. Penantian ni sangat la menyeksakan.....hehehe. So the quizzes said im gonna have a boy....just like my insticnt. The chinese prediction calender (which is popular for predicting the right baby gender) said im gonna have a boy too.

Then i look at old wives tale of predicting baby's gender. All signs that i have points out that i might have a boy. The way my body change, the way i carry my stomach, the shape of my stomach, what i like to eat, do i get sick during pregnancy, am i moody during pregnancy, do i get a lot of pimples....until down to the colour of my urine....all point out im having a boy.

At 6th month.....check-up lagi. Doctor tu punya la tenyeh-tenyeh mendalah ultrasound tu kat perut aku. Mana la celah kangkang kecit ni....we need a clear view. Pastu doc tu kata... "Macam perempuan ni". Aku sedikit terkejut actually....ehehe. How come i didnt think it could be a girl? I wonder how come i was sure its a boy. Tapi tiba-tiba doktor kata dia tak sure jugak pulak. Kot kangkang dia kena cover oleh unbilical cord dia kan. Tau la kan, ultrasound ni kadang2 tak clear. Imej yang nampak dari ultrasound cam bayangan je.

Time tu aku terus ubah perception. I actually dont really have preference in gender. But i think it would be good to have a boy as my first child...boleh la dia jagakan adik dia ke ape ke kan. All this while, i bonded with my baby, boyish style. But now, this baby could be a girl. I could be seeing pinks and barbie dolls....not colour blue and football. I start to feel guilty. Aku mula ubah perception to be neutral. I start to feel more guilty. How come i become so selfish and readily think its a boy.

Oh my baby girl, im so sorry sayang. You must be freaked out to know i was expecting a baby boy when you're actually a baby girl. I love you just a much if you're a girl. Im so sorry baby girl.....i feel so guilty. If only i can hug my stomach and kiss my stomach.....but i cant reach my stomach. I feel so suilty to the point of teary eyes.....maybe some people think its a small deal. But i feel so guilty and selfish. I read stories about how baby girl zaman jahiliah dulu ditanam hidup-hidup....it makes me feel more guilty than ever. I dont know why....i am sappy nowadays anyway.

Yesterday, i went for a 3d scan at DEMC hospital, shah alam. I can see baby's sweet face....can see her fingers. Jari dia yang akan genggan tangan aku and Din masa jalan-jalan ke midvalley nanti... =). I can see her cuping telinga yang sama macam abah dia (jenis melekat terus gitu....hehe). Then again i ask the doctor to check her crotch. Doc check and said it could be a girl. I start imagining my little girl wearing the awesome looking gown i saw in the internet. It was all black, with white trimmings, white collar, white lace at the hem with white bow at the waist. Really pretty and smart. I smiled. I start imagining her to be really smart and asking lots of questions and also still lasak and cool like her momma....hehe.

But somehow in the 3d scan, it looks weird. Looks like there's something like a little too big to be a little vagina. Macam balls je. But its ok.

I have decided now....i wont bother about the jantina, ever. I wont ask doc to recheck baby's crotch again. I will look at baby's crotch by myself when baby is in my arms. Aku beli jer la baju kaler neutral comel-comel banyak-banyak for her early months. Then lepas aku dah kuat dan habis pantang, baru aku akan cari baju specific untuk dia. Boy or girl, it doesnt matter. We will love our baby wholeheartedly....

Sampai sekarang orang masih teka aku dapat baby boy. If i really get a baby girl, i am a living proof that all the signs and prediction cannot be trusted......at all....hehe.

Anyway, this is the picture of the 3d scan....isnt she a deary? =)

She is our deary.....

Sappy ness

2010-05-25T21:21:00.006+08:00

Hyenas.

Im in my 28th week. That would be in the 6 months. 3rd trimester. The last trimester. Cepat betul. Cepat cepat pun, memang 9 bulan la kan. Kau jadi gajah la kalau nak pregnant lama-lama. Setahun lebih tau gajah pregnant....dekat 2 tahun aku rasa. Aku tak tipu neh! And be rest assured, 85% of my post will be related to pregnancy and babies now....hehe.

Truthfully im never a fan of kids and babies, before. I dont hate them, dont get me wrong. Its just that, i dont coo around them, i dont melt around them, i dont become all excited and jumpy around them, and i dont have the feeling that i have to connect to them. Kalau budak-budak buat hal, i'll be calling their moms rather than memujuk. They have their own moms for god sake....isnt it? But now, i see babies and i feel a flutter in my stomach. And i love to see them smile and laugh. Give kids chocolates and see they smile ear to ear. Nampak gigi kecik-kecik putih tu, atau nampak gusi yang merah-merah....cam anak sedara aku yang 6 bulan tu. Humang haihh....comelnye. Kulit lembut gila, yang kita jangan mimpi la nak dapat. Kau pakai losyen yang dibuat daripada tahi platipus yang berharga ribu-ribuan sebotol pun tak dapat dah kulit camtu. (platipus is endangered species. some of platipuses family have already extinct)

My god, what the heck is that?...haha. I never had that feeling before. Is that what they call maternal instinct? Its the hormones! It makes me feel all sappy and soft too. Hati jadi lembut macam biskot meri yang kau cicah dalam Melo, pastu kau ralit tengok tv...pastu dia jadi lembek....hahaha. Bagus betul perumpamaan aku. Cikgu Bahasa Melayu pun tak terfikir camni tau! Usually im not sappy la. But nowadays i feel so sappy....its suffocating.

Sappy how? Like hati jadi cam lembut gitu. Dulu kalau kena marah, aku mungkin akan menjawab gak sedikit sebanyak. Tapi sekarang, kena marah je aku rasa sedih. Sampai nak nangis. Asyik nak merajuk je, i feel its ridiculous. Penat la akak camni. Tu kadang-kadang bila merajuk aku dok diam je layan perasaan sendiri...takot laki aku pun penat kang nak memujuk. Dia pun ada hal lain gak kan. Its a good thing that i realize ini semua perubahan disebabkan hormon dan pembawakan budak. Aku tak mahu terlalu mengikut perasaan.

Pastu kalau ada berita-berita buang baby dalam paper, hati aku down je. My heart really goes to the little helpless baby yang tidak diberi peluang langsung. Dia pergi buang darah daging dia sendiri! Padahal dulu aku tak la rasa cam sekarang. Dulu kalau ada berita baby kena buang, aku maki mak bapak budak tu....then i let it go. But now, this kind of news stays in my head for some time. Aku sangat simpati, kesian sangat dekat baby tu, sometimes to the point of teary eyes...dia kena tahan gigitan semut semua. Aku teringat kat anak aku...betapa bertuahnya kamu peanut. Lahir kamu dinanti-nanti. Mak bapak tak sabar nak curahkan kasih sayang dan berikan didikan sempurna. Belum lahir lagi, mak bapak dia dah rancang yang terbaik untuk dia. Tapi baby yang kena buang tu....... =(

Pastu kalau tengok movie-movie sedih, haihh...jangan cakap la kan. Memang diam-diam dan panic, mengelap air mata secara discreet. Cemana boleh nangis ni....bukan sedih sangat pun.

And also, its weird...now that im in third trimester, i feel sad that im gonna give birth soon. Normalkah? I feel sad that baby is leaving my body. I will miss his little kicks and flutter. I will miss this little human being inside me. Tapi mak aku kata....tunggu la 8 bulan nanti. Masa tu dah berat macam ape, you will wish nothing more than baby to leave your body. Hahaha.... yer la tu kan. But for this time being, i have some sadness that baby is leaving my body. Whenever i feel baby's movement, i smile and its very comforting. Lebih-lebih lagi dia tak pernah susahkan aku dgn aktiviti dia. Dia akan bermain bola sepak pada masa-masa tertentu sahaja. Dia takkan kacau time aku tido.....sebab dia pun sama tido malam. I hope peanut will continue this great timetable.

Sappy-sappy pun, World Cup sudah mahu mareyy....hahha. Aku cam biasa....sokong Portugal. Second team aku ialah Espana...hehe. Orang kata, apehal kau sampai ada dua team. Oh biasa....aku mmg selalu sokong dua team. Untuk mengurangkan kekecewaan. Satu team kalah, ada lagi satu kan....hahaha. Anyway, walaupun Portugal skang agak suam-suam kuku berbanding masa ada Figo dulu, baju merah-hijau tu jugak akan aku pakai nanti. Eh, jap.....dem, baju tu dah tak padan!

My Dreams

2010-05-13T13:34:00.005+08:00

Pregnancy is a weird duration in a woman's life. Really. So many changes. Suddenly your hair grows slower (or faster), your tummy got bigger, you feel hungry always, you gain weight, you have little human living in you, the little human kicks and make your body vibrate, certain part of your body swell, then you feel pain in some parts of your body...isnt it weird? Well, bende-benda tu biasa kan? Simptom-simptom perempuan mengandung. Ala, bengkak-bengkak semua, weight gain, sakit pinggang. But i bet some of you didnt know about other weird changes that happen. There are many other weird changes and one of it, is dreams.

During my pregnancy period, i have funky dreams. Tapi sblm pregnant pun aku selalu mimpi merapu meraban. Aku pernah mimpi jumpa kumpulan Westlife la (no, i'm never a fan of westlife) and the guys fall in love with me, i dreamt i chase an aeroplane, aku mimpi jumpe Kardashian sisters (in my dream, they are witches), aku mimpi kena kejar zombie dalam shopping mall....semua merapu kan.

Time pregnant ni, aku masih mimpi bende pelik-pelik, tapi sangatlah real ok. Vivid, lively, very detail dreams. Mimpi yang sangat detail, i can remember the colours, the scenes. Memang aku ada certain issues yang ada aku fikir sepanjang pregnancy ni, tapi takde la sampai aku depress ke, sampai terbawak dalam mimpi. Tapi bila aku fikir balik, mimpi-mimpi ni cam ada kaitan dengan issue-issue yang aku fikir.

Aku pernah a few times mimpi pasal perempuan lain. Aku mimpi Hubby aku kenalkan aku dengan sorang perempuan lain. Dalam mimpi tu aku emo gila. Tak lama pastu, aku mimpi perempuan lain lagi. Tapi kali ni aku mimpi aku belasah perempuan tu sampai puas hati. Well....hehehe, time aku pregnant, aku ada rasa tak cantik. Aku pernah risau figure aku lari, aku jadi gemuk. Aku takot aku pakai baju pun nampak cam pakai khemah atau payung terjun. Tapi sekarang aku tak rasa camtu dah. Banyak lagi benda lain aku kena fikir. And we have a wonderful relationship, me and Din. So aku rasa mimpi tu cam subconcious mind aku, risaukan Din cari perempuan lain.....tsk, i know, silly. But even if he does, i will do exactly like what i dreamt of =)

Aku pernah mimpi, jahitan appendix aku pecah sebab perut aku besar. In reality, aku punya appendix kena kerat masa aku umur 6 tahun. Dalam mimpi tu aku selamba pegang perut aku, darah membuak-buak. Isi perut aku nak terkeluar dah....hahhaa. Tapi aku kata kat semua org, siap aku angkat tangan kat atas, aku kata, "jangan risau, nak gi jahit dah ni". Aku pun gi hospital, nak jahit balik. This one, aku rasa berakar umbi dari ketakutan aku terhadap pregnancy ni. Aku takot aku ada complications yang membahayakan diri dan anak aku.

Ha, ada lagi satu mimpi yang hampir sama dengan yang ni. Dalam mimpi ni aku nangis gaban. Aku rasa aku nangis real gak time tu, sebab bantal aku cam basah. Aku mimpi, aku gi jumpe doktor. Scan baby semua. I still remember i can see the baby in the monitor. Pastu doktor tu geleng-geleng kepala. Aku dah risau gila. Doktor tu kata baby takda harapan. Aku nangis gila tergolek-golek dalam hospital tu. Takleh terima kenyataan langsung. Aku tanya doktor kenapa takda harapan? Doktor tu jawab, baby ni ada kurap. Ada kurap atas kepala dia. Pastu lagi la aku nangis menonggeng. Bila aku bangun, aku jadi gelak tergolek-golek plak. Bodoh doktor dalam mimpi aku ni. Sekolah tepi longkang gamaknye. Boleh plak baby ada kurap dalam perut, pastu takde harapan plak tu. Tapi bila aku bukak mata je, lega yang amat cos its just a dream. It was so very real sampai aku syukur gila itu hanya mimpi. My baby is safe, healthy and fine inside me. It stems from my worries about the health of my baby. Am i eating enough? Is he getting enough nutrient? Normal ke dia? Sihat ke dia? I wish i can know now...

I also dream that i gave birth to quadruplet. Gila ko, kembar 4. Tiga laki, satu pempuan. Aku ingat lagi, baby-baby tu sume kecik-kecik je. Besar kucing gitu kot. Pastu bleh plak aku mimpi sampai budak-budak tu dah besar. Gila fast forward. Yang anak lelaki nakal, selalu buli yang perempuan. Din plak selalu pujuk and dukung yang pempuan tu sebab dia selalu kena buli. I think this one stems from my worries about taking care of our kids. Can we do it? Are we able to take care of our kids? Will they be a good child dan berguna pada bangsa, ingat pada agama? Argh...besar tanggungjawab tu. Tapi aku tengok semua orang pun ada anak, semua orang pun didik anak. We will mold our kids like we want, i'll make sure of that.

Then aku pernah mimpi aku menyiasat kehilangan batu permata kat satu hotel 6 star. It was so real. Cari-cari...pelik tu, aku siap boleh tanya orang hotel pasal pakej perkahwinan plak dah. Pastu last-last aku jumpa baru permata tu tersembunyi kat dia punya patung hiasan kat lobi. Then aku bawak batu permata tu gi bus stop, nak belek kat situ. This one, is just a confusion in me. Ni masa early pregnancy dulu. Masa ni aku punya fikiran dan emosi tidak stabil langsung.....hahaha.

I did some research that say quite a number of pregnant woman have vivid and real dreams. Its because of the extreme changes on their body, the hormones, the strong emotions. Oh well....things are getting better now. We'll see what more dreams i will have. Its like my sleep entertainment. I have entertainment while i sleep....cool or what? ;)

Till next time.

Busy Husbands

2010-04-26T11:24:00.004+08:00

Hyneas...

Some of my married friends have busy husbands. Like, many of 'em. Cam aku gak. Cam laki aku. Its frustrating sometimes. And it has a pattern y'know. The busy guys are usually in the networking fields and programming side.

My husband is a busy guy. He is in the networking field. As you all know (or if u dont know), networking is a critical aspect in todays business. Plak tu network ni, tak pasal-pasal suke je down. Cam ada mood plak network nih. And then if there is no network, no communications, no transaction....all goes down. Kaput. So wey, korang imagine la kalo tiba2 network down, betapa busynye laki aku....waarrgghhhh!! Kalo tiba-tiba takde hujan takde ribut Katrina, 30 node down....involves network Malaysia ni tau, bukan network account-account tu je. Telefon tu kalo tak bunyi maksudnye dah kong la. Selagi hidup, selagi tu la berbunyi. Pastu dia balik kol 7 pagi keesokannya! Apa kau nak kata?

Nak marah ke ape? Aku kan....nak marah, ringan la mulut nak marah. Tapi bile aku tengok muka dia penat....(aku at least bleh tido, dia tu berjaga sepanjang malam), aku jadi cam tak sampai hati wohh. Instead, i tell my baby in my tummy...."Abah keje kuat. Semalam dia tak balik sebab keje. Untuk kite jugak tau."

I hope the baby understand...and pray for his abah. Then peanut gave me one soft push in the stomach. Baby is listening.... =)

Din is a manager. Manager ni ada sorang je tau untuk satu team. Anak-anak buah ada la ramai. So aku nak kata ape, kalau dia kata manager team kena ada kat site. Siapa lagi kalau bukan dia. Dah atas dahi dia ada cop manager. Responsibility ni kadang kala sucks juga. Kalo ada tak kena....ko kena ler menjawab.

Tapi, aku sure.....husbands yang busy ni, they want nothing more than to stay at home with their wife and kids....atau bermain golf (roll eyes). Think about it, its better than anything, im sure. But, somehow...they are stuck there for many reason. Variety of reasons. Daripada work delegation yg lemah, kepada kurang tenaga mahir, kepada kelemahan sususan organisasi....atau juga memang ada problem yang tak boleh nak elak. Like, memang dah nak jadi problem gitu. We can just hope they will overcome the problem la....kire tak berterusan. In the meantime, our husbands have to work and pay for it all.

And im sure, husbands do try their best to juggle work and home.....oh, and maybe golf (roll eyes). Sometimes you can see their effort....like dodging calls =D (alahai, kantoi tak?). Tapi sampai bile kan? We can just hope things change. Or maybe they will do something about it....before we, go burn their offices down =D.

As for my husband, i have patience still. I know he's trying his best to juggle time. And as bengang as i am, i appreciate him too. Lets be patience....and hope for the best. Till next time folks...x0x0

Round-house kick.

2010-04-20T15:20:00.004+08:00

Hyenas....

Gloomy day today. Hari ini adalah hari emo tanpa sebab. Hari ni gloomy dari pagi hingga ke petang. Ada hujan-hujan. Not a pretty and happy day. This is like Ireland. Yes, that place is like this....gloomy all the time. Hard to see a ray of sunshine.

Im fighting boredom...and im not sure who's winning.

Aku sebenarnye takde idea nak tulis ape la sekarang ni....haha. Adik aku ada cakap, kalau tatau nak kata ape, dok diam. Eh, kecoh betul kan.

Well, i dont mean to talk about pregnancy all the time. But as an expecting mother, you cant help it. Especially when the little jumping peanut is dancing in your stomach, right now!....hahah. I think baby peanut just did a round-house kick inside here. Kuat tuh. Terkejut aku. Bergegar la perut kan. Whats a round-house kick? Search la senang....susah aku nak cakap. Orang yg berkecimpung dalam kickboxing je yg tau (eleh, kickboxing setakat sebulan lebih je dah kecoh kan).

Its weird when i always tell my baby...."c'mon peanut, give momma one strong kick. the strongest you can do...."

Because when this little peanut is already outside and growing....and then he kicks you one day, lain jadinya. Takpe la...masa dalam perut ni la aku nak dia kick. Bila dah kuar, dia kick aku lagi....memang berbirat la peha dia.

So how does it feels when a baby moves? Ada orang kata rase geli-geli. Mana ada la wey! Geli cemana ntah....geli cam org geletek tapak kaki kau ke? Ahhahaha...aku rasa nak kentut ada aaa. Tapi tak kentut. Cos its not gas at all. Baby punya keje derrr. Its feels almost like bowel movement. Thats the soft moves. Maybe he's like stretching gitu....or dia pusing guling2 ke. There is also the tapping moves. Its like he taps your stomach, and u can feel the soft taps. Maybe he punch softly or....i dunno. Then there is THE kick!...haha. This one is exciting. There was one time, aku tengah nak bayar syampu aku kat Guardian. Baby is happy i guess. So dia gerak-gerak....guling-guling (the bowel movement feeling). Then suddenly he gave a one round-house kick which im not ready of, which then makes my body jerk forward. Cashier tu pun terkejut and pandang aku pelik. Tapi oleh sebab aku jenis selambayaya, aku pun pandang dia balik dgn muka 1 sen yg sudah tak valid lagi tu....hahaha.

I really wish Din can feel his movements too.... =)

Pregnant woman can look frumpy easily. They can look selekeh so easily. Cos usually we prefer comfortable clothes. And comfortable clothes usually means t-shirt and sweat pants. If only we can go out just in that get-ups. Tapi itu dah selekah tahap ko tayah kuar rumah la senang. Pulak tu badan plak cam berbahang. Kena cari kain yang nipis dan selesa.

Aku punya seluar sume sudah tak padan. Aku memerlukan seluar maternity. Kebanyakan seluar maternity pula adalah sangat ugly. Nak yang cantik, memang mahal. Pakaian ruji aku plak ialah seluar jeans and t-shirt. Tu belum masuk bra yang dah tak padan. Kena beli baru gak. Beli yang murah dan tak elok, sakit pulak kang. Jadi, aku pun bwat la muka sedih dan manja-manja kat Din, mintak seluar maternity dan bra baru. Lalu terus dapat seluar jeans Topshop and bra La Senza....hahhaa.

Terima kasih la kat suami saya yg supportive itu.

Aku bukan nak bergaya ape. Aku bukan bergaya mana pun. Gaya aku selalu ala-ala selekeh tapi smart. Aku tak pernah dressy-dressy sakan, glitter-glitter gitu. Aku cuma nak nampak elok mata memandang, cos like i say pregnant woman can look frumpy easily. So I bought dalam 2, 3 helai seluar maternity elok, di mana aku akan melunyaikan mereka selama baki 4 bulan ini. Takde la nanti anak aku tengok gamba aku pregnant, the he said, "mama, u look like gramma."

Oh peanut...u broke my heart....hahaha.

Well, till next time folks. By then i hope i have a good material to publish...hehe. x0x0

New Office.

2010-03-30T12:18:00.004+08:00

Hello hye-nas......lama kan aku tak post pape?

Im at office. New office. No more EDS (refuse to call HP, eventho EDS is under HP now). I miss EDS......*sigh. What i miss abt EDS? The people and the environment. Oh, the abundant friends i have! Bila petang je, ada je la orang ajak gi minum kan. The team has a very good relationship.....we actually develop friendship =), not only being colleagues. And we say hai and greet each other. And we dont dissappear in our cubicle and work to oblivion. We laugh and we talk about every other things in this world. We listen to music and humming slowly to the music. It has a light and cool environment. Oh, and the traffic. Traffic jam is minimal in Cyberjaya. It is shift job...i have my night shift....but.....i dunno. I have a lot to smile about my old place.

This new place, ACS Damansara Tropicana - in terms of work, its ok. Its not very hard, but im learning new things (tho it deviates from computer security - my previous job). It seems like the work is properly documented and systematic. I have my own brand new laptop (which sometimes i forgot to bring to work...which is so silly of me....which means i have to go back home to get it, which then makes me fuming). Its nearer to home, which means less toll and less fuel (but traffic jam la....gotta find certain times when there are less cars on the road). Its normal hours (no shift), which means i can be home and cook for my hubby and sleep on my bed instead of on my desk. Its flexible. And oh, i can work from home! There will be 2, or 3 days where i can work from home and jaga rumah. Which means more expenses saved and more time to kemas rumah. And this place has contractual bonus....not including performance bonus. Lepas la jugak insurance kereta aku kan....and did i tell u the parking is huge and here have a lot of place to eat, just around 5-7 minutes drive.

BUT.....the place....haihhh. The people dissapear once they sit on their chair. I've been here for more than 2 weeks already, and i didnt recognize anybody....not even the one who work 2 desk away from me. Cos they dont talk, they dont really smile, they dont walk around and say hi, they stare at their screen and their only screen. Sometimes i think the only laughing voice here is mine, and my friend Su. But all is not bad....i have severel friends already with me. I have my buddy from old office EDS, Su, who is also new, same team also. So, not too bad. Have some old friends at other department, Ila, Bort. But still, environment is different.

I cant work to oblivion. Im not that kind of person. If i happen to be that way....i will end up being angry and moody and i will eat my laptop. But Farin, dont be childish! This is work. And work only! I still have friends elsewhere.

This is strictly my work-life only.

Thank god i still have a few group of friends whom i love to keep and hate to lose =)

Other than that, nothing new from me. Pregnancy is at 4 and a half month. Baby is moving. Not kicking yet tho, atau aku yg belum boleh rasa, tatau la. Dia cuma golek-golek, berenang-renang ke tepian, stretching-stretching. But its tiring. Baby moving makes me tired. Tapi takpe. Bile baby bergerak, aku rasa lega. Bile tak bergerak, aku kacau dia....tepuk-tepuk, golek-golek perut sampai dia bangun....hahaha. Mesti dia tension. Perut is obvious now. Tapi org cakap tak besar mana. Ila cakap maybe sebab aku tinggi. So baby ada banyak ruang. So perut tak besar. Tatau la tu kan, tapi makes sense tak? Kan? Pastu urat-urat aku rasa bersimpul-simpul ok. Belakang dah lenguh, punggung lenguh, and peha aku rasa nak terkehel je. Urat peha kadang-kadang rasa sengal lain macam. Tapi tu semua bende kecik je =). And i love my alone time with my baby peanut. I sing to peanut, i selawat, i pray and talk. Tapi paling lama pun dalam 30 minit je la. Its hard ok!...when you are only talking to yourself (eventho you intend to talk to the baby). I have started exercising. I do brisk walking and we'll see if i can continue swimming. And baby-daddy, Din also join me. All is ok....dan aku sangat bersyukur aku takde masalah masa mengandung ni.

Till next time.....x0x0.

TAG by manchett.

2010-03-07T16:14:00.007+08:00

Hyenas.....

Was tagged by manchett. So aku pun dah lama tak tulis satu habuk pun kat sini. so ape la kirenye aku manjawab soalan-soalan inesen di bawah....

1)Adakah anda rasa anda hot?
Hot ape ehh? Panas ke? Tak, skang tak panas. Sebab ada aircond. Hot as in hot babe? Aku tak rasa la kot. Tapi aku juga tak rasa aku ugly....hahaha. I just feel fine. Hot tempered?.....yg ini ya. Have always tried to stay out of trouble and issues with people all my life...cos if i'm in one, temper unleashed....susah. And as many people should know, do not make a pregnant woman angry =D....(sengih sket).

2)Upload gambar kegemaran anda.
banyak aa yg aku suke....takde satu bende pun kat dunia ni yang bleh masuk sebagai satu-satunya bende yang aku suke....

3) Bila kali terakhir anda makan pizza?
hmmm....kadang-kadang makan gak. lebih-lebih lagi dengan tabasco tu kan. dalam sebulan lebih gitu kot. sejak-sejak ada budak dalam perut ni, aku sangat-sangat mengurangkan fast food. bukan mengurangkan. mmg tak makan la selama 4 bulan ni. I choose my food...................dem, now i want pizza.

4) Lagu terakhir anda dengar?
Placebo - Bright lights. Dah la diorg nak datang nanti ni. So aku nak dengar kasi lebam.....sampai aku dah jadi tak heran dengan Placebo.....haha.

5) Ape anda buat selain menyelesaikan tag ini
Korek Hidung

6) Selain nama sendiri anda dipanggil nama ape?
family aku panggil ain, kawan-kawan panggil farin, parin.....laki aku panggil aku macam-macam nama......anak nanti panggil aku mama.....hehehe.

7) Tag lagi 8 orang
well.....sebab aku nak menjawab soalan ni punya pasal kan....so aku tag nama di bawah. kebanyakan nama-nama yang dah lama tak membelog....berminggu-minggu dan berbulan-bulan juga. kamon pepel....!

1-atul
2-roin
3-marini
4-farrah ahmad
5-farah ahmad
6-gina banana
7-.............
8-................ok, apparently aku tak cukup nama yg menarik untuk di letak di sini.....huhuuh. manchett, ila, korang nak bwat balik tak?....aahahha.

8) Siapakah orang no 1 kepada anda?
hhhhmmm.....i have many important people in my life. i cant choose one. if i have to choose, i choose myself......hahahah. Gile vain. But really, i cant choose....susah. laki aku bleh jadi, mak bapak aku leh jadi....so, susah la kan.

9) Kata sesuatu kepada orang no 5
hi farah....jumpe di opis nanti....hahaha.

10) No. 3 ada hubungan dengan siapa?
si marini tu dah kawin dah....dia berhubungan dgn laki dia la tu....hahaha.

11) Bagaimana pula dengan no 4?
farrah? berhubungan dengan siapa? she's now single mingle and having fun....and busy too.

12) Pesanan kepada org no 6?
lina.....she's got it all covered. tayah pesan-pesan.....heehe. baru lepak dgn dia baru ni....

13) Kata-kata cinta untuk no 2?
roin? kata-kata cinta?.....belajar rajin-rajin?

14) Adakah no 7 & 8 punye persamaan?
a'ah....dua-dua list kosong....hahaha

15) Berikan 5 yang anda tahu tentang orang yg men`tag anda?
ok, ok....senang nih.....
1.nama dia marlina manja....*percaya tak?....ekekekek. orang panggil dia mancet. aku suke je eja jadi manchett.
2.lakinye nama khair....kaher, kaher orang panggil dia.
3.anak dia nama aidan basil....bulan depan anak dia nak setahun dah
4.dulu sebilik dgn aku kat MMU.
5.pernah gaduh dengan dia....hahhahah....tapi sebab kami manusia cool, lepak semula.
6.dia ada rumah baru....tapi aku tak gi lagi umah dia....
eh, dah 6 pulak.........

16) persamaan antara kambing dan lembu?
tahinye busuk.....

17) Adakah anda tahu si Razman itu sengal?
razman mana ni wey? majistret? lawyer?...........

18) Gay or less?
aku gay....im always gay. you're not gay? too bad....

Kepada minah yang tag saya ni, ntah bile tah nak jumpe kan. Cakap je banyak...hahahhaha. Jom jom.....kite pi makan-makan. Esplanade bes ke? Ada byk tempat makan best ni....kite je tak explore.

Pregnancy

2010-02-19T10:45:00.006+08:00

Helo... =)

After some time, you will want to talk about your pregnancy. Lagipun kawan-kawan pun banyak tanye. How do i feel? Ada ngidam? Cemana bleh pregnant?....hahahha. For the question cemana bleh pregnant tu....god help you la. Budak umur 9 tahun pun tau kot....hahaha. Tapi pape pun, ianya dengan izin Allah swt.

Pregnancy is 9 months roughly and its divided into trimesters. 1st trimester, 2nd and 3rd.

Masa my first 3 months (1st timester), it was very tiring. Energy seems drained, eventhough you dont do anything much. It seems more obvious when i was walking around in shopping complex. Usually, i can go around the mall, looking for stuff....for hours and hours. But during the first trimester, i cant do that. No energy. And im hungry every two hours. And the hunger is intense. U gotta eat, or you'll puke (sbb masuk angin). But eventho i eat like every two hours, my weight do not add up too much. I guess my metabolism is still playing its part. And also my emotion a bit off during fist trimester. Emosi sedikit tidak stabil. Sometimes i acted up....buruk btol. But it was fine...no morning sicknes, no puking. Things were fine.

That was first timester. Now, i am 15 weeks pregnant, second trimester has just started. Second trimester biasanya semakin baik, biasanya la. Tengok orang. Aku pun tatau macam mana aku ni. I feel fine now. Tiada alah still(yet...huhuuh). Energy is back (but not as strong as before of course), emotions all cool. Appetite is good. I feel healthy. Nothing to complain now (yet...huhuuh).

Oh, mengidam! I dont really ngidam. Cuma teringin kot....haha, ke sama? Tapi kan, skang aku tak sampai hati nak cakap aku teringin nak makan pape. Sebab bila aku cakap, nanti bapak aku, suami aku, semua pergi cari. Cam hari tu, aku cakap kat Din, aku nak makan daging. I want western style red meat steak, or beef ribs. Masa tu kitorang baru je balik ke KL dari Kelantan yang memakan masa selama 10 jam (normal la tu....sbb Din ni newbie balik kelantan...hehe). Straight after that, we went out to eat at Chilli's. I feel guilty cos i know he was tired. Then the other day, i said i would like to eat pengat pisang. Aku nak makan yang mak aku buat. Pengat mak aku gak complete sedapnya, manis lemak, wangi dia. Pastu bapak aku pergi la mencari pisang merata-rata. Masa tu CNY, orang belum berjual. Sekali lagi rasa guilty. Aku rasa aku malas la nak melayan 'teringin' aku ni. Kesian plak kat bapak aku, kat Din.

Kesian kat aku? Ah, aku nyer teringin ni tak payah kesian kot. Aku kenyang je....cume mengada-ngada nak makan tu sume. Cuma tengok la....kalau aku betul-betul nak makan pape, kena la carik kot....eheh.

My stomach is obviously growing. But not too obvious. Obvious to me tho. My waistline is expanding.....hehe. Yesterday i went for a checkup and a sonogram. I can see Peanut! He is a few inches long. Peanut has heartbeat (very tiny heart!), head, hands and legs. Peanut even has tiny spine that is not yet long to cover until the butt. The spine is still halfway down the back. Suddenly i gasp while on the ultrasound, cos he moves! I can see he was like nodding and moving his hands and legs. Berjoget yer dia....hahha. That was a nice sight. I cant take it out of my mind and it makes me smile everytime i remember him dancing in me.

And we dont know Peanut's gender yet...

And once you see the baby, you will want to see him everyday. You will miss the baby. You wanna do ultrasound every single day. You see adorable baby clothes, you will melt all over the floor. You have 'sucker' (senang cair) written on your forehead. Sucker for baby clothes, sucker for toys, sucker for cute blankets, sucker for baby's toilettries. But i dont buy yet, i refrain myself. Its not very good, i heard. The baby has a long way to go. We'll buy later.

Self control is important to me. I do not want to be controlled by hormones or unstable emotions. I want to control myself with my head and make my time an enjoyable one. So far, Alhamdulillah, all is cool and dandy.

Till next time......

Salicylic Acid (belasah je....haha)

2010-02-05T09:27:00.005+08:00

Hyenas....Read below statement....

Whatever u give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will give u a baby. Give her a house, she will give u a home. Give her groceries, she will give u a meal. Give her a smile n she will give u her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if u give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit... Post it on your wall if u agree~ And I agree! :D

This statement has been going around in facebook. I didnt post it on my wall, cos i dont agree. I think this is a very one-sided statement...maybe lame too. Like the girl is so desperate to prove she's so strong. And the point is? But this is very one sided...cos it somehow shows that this world is all about women. Too vain....i am vain, but this statement is too vain. Women and man need each other.

I dont know, im a woman, a pregnant woman...my body is hosting another human being. But still i dont agree with this. I dont think im superior at all. My man provides so much things that we build together and call it as home. We provide each other. So i dont like this kind of statement. This statement comes from someone who doesnt know what is a relationship between man and women.

*Chuckle* This is lame. Anyway....moving on....

Do you think guys should take care of their skin? I think they should. So the other day Din bought his skincare. Aku plak yang excited. Skincare is seasonal for him. When he think his skin is a bit off, then he buy. If it finishes, then he forgets all about it. You see, he's out in the sun a lot (golf!), so his skin needs tender-loving-care. I've made it compulsory for him to wear sunscreen.....cos skin cancer is not fun.

So went with him to choose his facial wash and moisturizer. Cos he has no clue what to get. Well me, i know whats in those things and what we need. What is salicylic acid, whats benzoyl peroxide, whats which hazel, whats tea tree, whats SPF, whats titanium dioxide, what is kaolin, whats sodium laureth sulfate, whats glycerine.......and also, where are the stated ingredients in the list of ingredients. Is it listed as the first ingredient, second, middle, or last in the list?

So i choose for him and he started using it. Then suddenly he came out of the bathroom smelling awesome and then i saw something...

"whats that on you face?"

"ni moisturiser la," dia jawab dengan penuh confident. "eh, pakai moisturiser cam ni kan?"

Then i burst out laughing. Yes, i laugh at my husband, in his face. Because dia telah melumurkan moisturiser di mukanya, cam facial wash. Dengan muka basah-basah tu, dia pi lumur habis kat muka dia....hence, what i saw - bende putih-putih kat muka dia, which is the moisturizer. Thats like...i dunno...innocent gile! I'm gonna make sure he takes care of his skin now...because i care. Sorry i tell this story, ye sayang. But i think its funny. You're still the man!...hehehh.

Anyway, a little about me....my pregnancy is fine, i think. Cos im feeling fine (gagging still there, tiredness is subsiding a bit, weight is up a bit, cant get into my tight jeans anymore....etc...normal stuff, hah). Esok pergi routine checkup and im gonna meet the "little peanut". Im dreaming of seeing his tiny hands and feet and weird big head...hehe. Peanut is still growing rapidly and i have a little baby bump now....hahaha. Have to go shopping for new clothes... =D

Till next time....x0x0

Latest on Me.

2010-01-26T15:10:00.003+08:00

Hyenas.....

Makin lama, makin jarang saya tulis kat sini. Ntah....macam penat pun ada. There is always something to do. Always some errands to run. Like today, i have a hell lot of things to do. But....errrmm....malas...hahahha. Laki aku balik sure aku kena marah. Takpe, lepas je tulis ni, terus la aku gerak.

So many things to do. When you got married, you will undestand what tired really means. If before, you will feel tired because of your work. After you got married, mmg bertambah la kan. Kain baju nak basuh. Nak kena sidai. Kena lipat. Pastu nak masak. Beli barang nak masak. Nak basuh periuk belanga, gelas pinggan sume. Kemas katil. Sapu lantai dengan rambut gugur2 tu. Sekali sekala basuh toilet. Penat wey, aku tak tipu. Sekali sekala memang aku mengelat....haha. So, one thing you can do is, talk to your husband to help around the house a little. Better still, do the chores with your husband together.

Nowadays, lagi la aku penat. Ditakdirkan tuhan, aku dikuniakan rezeki anak almost immediately. Awal sungguh dia melekat. Actually sejak dari awal lagi aku punya instinct kata aku dah conceive (even before it is confimed). Maybe cos its happening in my body and im always very conscious of what happening with my body. And maybe because its a mother's instinct =). Aku masa tu baru nak kira period aku (aku tak pernah kira cycle aku), tengok-tengok, lekat dah. Alhamdulillah. Dua-dua orang happy. Tadi Din biasa la...dia tunjuk macho dia. Aku la melebih-lebih pasal baby ni....hahaha. Eleh, macho kunun. Kalo kitorang gaduh sket, dia gi mengadu kat baby. Macam la aku taleh dengar dia ngadu kat baby. Adorable actually....hehe.

I dont have much problem. I mean, bwat masa ni, my pregnancy is breezy dandy. Cuma sekali sekala datang kepenatan yang maha hebat. Having an awesome husband is really rewarding this time. If im tired, he would get busy in the kitchen, and in a while he would be caling me, "dinner is ready". Sayang sungguh kat dia masa tu (dan setiap masal juga). Sekali sekala jugak aku agak rasa mual. Tapi tak pernah muntah. Mual tu sebab takde makanan dalam perut. So i always have to eat someting in small quantity. Kalo tak, memang mual. Tapi aku rasa syukur gak sebab aku rasa buat masa ni, pregnancy aku agak senang. Sesetengah orang, muntah sampai kelepek takleh buat ape. Bau tu takleh, bau ni takle, pakai lipstick pun taleh. Aku dengan pregnant ni pun kecoh nak pakai mascara la, blusher la...hahaha.

Tapi aku kadang-kadang rasa perangai aku jadi pelik. Maybe eccentric also at times. Expecially bile aku penat. Jadi meragam. Sampai Din threaten nak carik videocam, nak merakam perangai aku and show the baby when he grows up....ahahaha. Threaten me eyy.

Hari tu first time pergi scan baby. Doctor predicted its 10 weeks. The fetus is 2.5cm....thats an inch long. But the doctor think its longer cos the fetus looks like...like its bending. Nevemind. Its growing rapidly in me. It has heart beat already. But not strong of course. Most of the time during the scanning, we were giggling and Din has this big smile on his face that he cant seem to wipe off.....hahahaha. Macho la kan...tersengih-sengih. The doctor ask if we want a picture of the baby.....and i said no, its ok. Later-later la.....

Dapat baby terus ni bagus gak. Sebab Din dah 30. Aku pun dah 27. Kitorang pun dah couple 7, 8 tahun koottt. We have thought about the future and we think that we dowant to grow old with litle kids. I mean, kitotang tak mahu bile dah nak pencen, anak still umur 15 ke. Pastu bile dah pencen kerje, anak pulak baru nak masuk Uni. Penat tak? Kau nak cekau duit mana kan bile dah pencen. Mungkin ada la jalannya tu. Tapi nampak macam susah sket la kot. And when we have grey hairs, we wanna relax. Bukan bekejar jaga anak, risaukan anak muda tak balik malam. We just wanna chill.

And having close friends with kids help a lot, macam Manchett, Ila. Aku banyak bertanye kat Manchett pasal pregnant ni. And she did give a lot of info. Sampai hospital pun dia kasi. Sekarang ni, diorg la yang akan jadi sifu aku...hahaha.

Anyway, jarang gak kan aku bercerita pasal aku. Sekali sekala koott....hehehe. Next post - somthing else.

Till next time

Plastic Glove

2010-01-06T17:24:00.003+08:00

Hyenas...

Have you ever go to those eatery, where the person who prepares the food wear those plastic glove? Example, those places like sushi king, subway sandwich, crispy poppiah. Aku memang dah lama tak puas hati dengan perkara ni. Perkara di mana orang yang menyediakan makanan pakai sarung tangan plastik tu. Apa tujuan dia pakai glove tu sebenarnye?

Untuk menyediakan makanan yang bersih ke......ke untuk memastikan tangan dia yang tak kotor?

Just watch those people prepare the food. Pada mata kasar, you might think it looks hygenic, it looks proper. But if you're observant enough, you will see that they will touch every single thing with that plastic glove on. I mean, what the heck? That totally defeats the purpose....which is to be clean isnt it? They touch that tray with the plastic glove on (that tray was on top of a dirty table), they open the drawer, they pick up stuff from the floor, they open that cupboard, they turn on the sink, they touch everything with that plastic glove on. Its more like, they dont want to get their hands dirty....and its not for preparing clean food.

Just now i went to Subway Sandwich. As usual i ordered the ridiculously over-priced sandwich (what to do, mahal pun mahal la. dah suka kan...). In front of my eyes, the person who prepare the food open the oven, open that drawer, take that tray, open this, close that.....all with the same plastic glove on which she will also use to prepare my sandwich. Aku cuba memujuk hati, maybe all the handles and drawers in Subway sandwich is sanitized. But alas, she did this little scratch on her head with curly hair with the same glove on. Ok thats it.....thats it.

"Wait, can you maybe change your glove first. Thank you!"

She looked shocked...and then smile. And change her glove. I gave a smile of appreciation (she's nice actually)....and eat my sandwich thinking, these people whould really think over about their plastic glove policy. I used to work in a bakery. I used the plastic glove to prepare food too. I use it peoperly and not go touch everything with it on. Maybe some place takes cleanliness as their main concern, but there are places which is a bit.....cuai kot. Plastic glove does not mean hygenic.

Anyway......

Oh well, till next time....eheh...XoXo

Aging

2009-12-24T21:27:00.009+08:00

Ok, ok....i update my blog already....hahaha.
(jgn la marah sam.....refer kepada chat box di sebelah kiri)

A while ago, my husband just gave me a whole lot of money. Saya ingat sebab ape la kan...ingat suruh pi beli kasut Nine West yang saya dok teringin tu. Then he said, 'ni duit untuk rumah. you manage this money.'

Shaayytt....terus la aku jadi accountant/bendahari kan. Aku tak pernah ada degree in accountancy, how to manage money? Hahaha....alasan untuk lari dari tanggungjawab. This are some of the things that i have to learn and do. Manage money. Bukan seratus, dua ratus, tiga ratus, empat ratus, lima ratus. Lebih dari itu....huhuuh. But like i said...this are the things i have to learn and do. But anyway, being married force me to change.....its for the better. I feel like a coward and a loser if i dont take responsibility. And its a waste if i stay the same way (not improving).

Anyways....

Have you ever feel old? Haha....i know you will deny. But age will catch up with you, my fren. Even if you dont feel old, certain things will not be the same. When i was younger....during Uni time, i will sleep late almost everyday. Play game la, chatting la, browsing la, studying la, movies la, bowling la, late supper la, lepak-lepak la....all that and i was able stay wide awake. Nowadays, i cant even make it pass 11 pm. I will feel sleepy. Dulu dengar bang Subuh baru la nak tido (pastu missed kelas la kan). Tido dalam 4, 5 jam pun ok. Skang kena 8 jam, baru aku happy. Me, im feeling neutral. Im feeling my age....but i will always have the kid inside me. Im not feeling old, but like i said...age will catch up with you, and you will realize things are a bit different.

And mind you....age is NOT just a number. It is a number and everything else.

With aging comes responsibility, comes wrinkles, comes wisdom, comes 'kendur-kendur'....comes lesser energy, comes so many other things. Like what I have discussed with a friend some time ago, imagine if you're 40 yrs old, are you still gonna jump around in a disco? Is it still the same when you were 21 and jumping in disco? Of course its different isnt it? Kalo ko still pergi disco umur 40, ko memang buang tebiat, in denial nak mampos la kan. Or anybody think its normal?....hahahh.

The thing you can do is, having a fresh mind. Dont be to stressful about anything, live life light, fun and simple. Take care of your health, take care of others too. Be reasonably open-minded. Be in touch with your spiritual junk (ingat ugama plis). Have many friends, young and old. At this age, you should have kids as friends....as well as old people. Not only people your age. Knowledge and wisdom will make you young and fresh, not 'acting young' like a retard. So many other things to 'retain' your age and not be 'old' with time.

Lemme show you an example of a person who is living in denial and a person who is aging and living her life happy.

Madonna

Ellen DeGeneras

Madonna is like 50 yrs old. You might know, Madonna strive very hard to maintain her physique and looks. She did a whole lot of yoga, pilates, cosmetic surgery and many other things we never heard of.....she wears inappropriate clothes at her age, which ironically, makes her look older. She worries too much of growing old....and now she becomes what she's afraid off. Maybe worse.

Ellen DeGeneras is also like 50 yrs old (and a lesbian). But she dress appropriately, she's nice (see her talk show), always happy and smiling.....and who looks better...you tell me.

I rest my case. Till my next post.....x0x0

Post-Wedding

2009-12-08T10:55:00.008+08:00

Hello....Salam and hyenas...ahahks.

Its now 3 weeks after my wedding. We're still feeling the post-wedding feeling. The posters are still in the house, the leftover cards are still there, the leftover chocolates are still there. Sometimes you can still see tiny shreds of bunga rampai on the floor by the wall. The dried flowers are not all gone yet. Its not really over yet. The inai on my nails is still red (ok, not red.....orange maybe. it was red 3 weeks ago tho). The wedding gives great memories to me. It was stressful preparing for it. Malay wedding is always extra-stressful. But now, all the stress i experienced has become sweet memories. All the kalut ribut makes me smile now. And also my friends around me who was excited as well...hehe. My office-mates, my school friends, my uni friends...it was great pleasure seeing your faces on those days.

Malam sebelum akad-nikah tu, kak ipar saya (orang utara, seGeng la dgn Din tu) - Kak Ija merangkap ketua department inai pada malam itu....dan adik saya si Fazie tu tolong letakkan inai kat tangan saya. Inai tu henna la kan. Inai tu dapat mana? Ada pokok inai rupanya mak saya tanam kat luar tu. Pelik plak....mak aku memang dah plan nak pakai ke, gi tanam pokok tu awal-awal? Anyway, saya pun amik la daun, tumbuk-tumbuk. Dan malam itu bila sampai masanya untuk dipakai;

Kak Ija: ain, awat pi tumbuk lagu ni?
Me: apsal? ain tumbuk cemana?
Kak Ija: mana bleh pakai lagu ni...
Me: awat? (dan-dan tiba2 bertukar cakap utara)
Kak Ija: ain kena tumbuk haluih-haluih. sampai dia jadi cam paste. baru bleh lekat kat tangan. kalu dia hancoq lagu ni mana bleh lekat kat tangan ni.
Me: (uh oh, akad esok....bile lagi aku nak pakai inai kalau tak malam ni) alamak, bih tu cemana?
Kak Ija: takpa, kita terai dulu hak ni...

So, there i was. Sitting there stiff. With my fingers and toes berlumuran daun inai yang tidak hancur lumat. After almost 3 hours, "Adeh, sakit belakang, nak baring sket". Right on that damn moment, daun2 inai jatuh berguguran dari jari. Me, being a person who has a very thin patience snapped and say "Thats it. I'm done with this inai. Dah la susah nak lekat. Pastu warna pun tak terang mana". But who to blame but me. Aku yang tumbuk tak hancur. Aku pun tak tau kena tumbuk sampai hancur, serious. At last, we resort to wearing inai from the tube.

Resulting in inai merah menyala like this. Dah dua lapis inai kan. memang merah menyala la. tapi cam over sket kan? Tapi aku suke siot.... hahahha, menyala merah....

Next day, that was Friday, 20/11, the akad-nikah day. It was schedule to be at around 5 pm, after Asar prayer. Uncles and Aunties from Kelantan and around came to be in the event. My sister has arrange fresh beautiful flowers around the house. We heat up aromatherapy in house. The house looks cozy with sweet smell of aromatherapy. My 'groomer' came early to do my make up. It was fun being dolled up and made up. I'll miss all this! As time pass by, my heart beats faster and faster. Tapi sebenarnye aku tak payah nervous. Sebab ini hari Din. Din la yang nervous....pengantin perempuan tunggu je kan...wahahaha. Aku pun berjaya menenangkan hati dan lepak menunggu bakal suami. Tapi risau jugak kot-kot tiba-tiba dia jadi gagap tak pasal-pasal kan. Atau gugup, hyperventilate ke, pastu pengsan kan. Atau berpeluh terlalu banyak sampai air peluh membanjiri muka sampai dia tak boleh bercakap. Atau kena buli dengan tok kadi kaw kaw sampai jadi stress mengamuk tak jadi kawin ke. Maybe i imagine too much....

Masa tu kawan lama saya dari sekolah sampai menemankan saya....Farah dan Khom (thanx man, I love you guys la).

Tiba masanya, pengantin lelaki sampai. Lebih kurang pukul 5 gitu. Perfect timing. He was wearing his white baju melayu dengan sampin songket dan songkok. Aku pakai baju kurung modern putih dengan bertudung litup....haha. Aku dengan kontrol machonya turun tangga pelan-pelan. Diiringi Farrah and Khom and Auntie saya. Padahal selalu aku lompat turun dua anak tangga sekali tu ko tau!....hahaha. Ngok ngek ngok ngek, pot pet pot pet....pastu tok kadi suruh dia istighfar, ucap shahadah, dan selawat. Dia jawab semua dengan tenang, sekali dengan nafas je. Abah saya sendiri yang mengahwinkan Din dan saya.....dan Din jawab lafaz akad sekali sahaja smooth, clean and clear.....cam ubat jerawat gitu.

Right that moment, I'm a wife. Din turn to me and give me a smile that i would never forget, ever. Dengan lafaz nyata itu, dan niat dari hati Din dan kebenaran wali dari Abah saya, secara rasminya saya dah jadik bini dia. That moment, reality hasnt hit me yet....lalalla. And that nite.....jeng jeng jeng hahaha.....he went back to his house and I sleep alone. Cos we gotta get ready for the kenduri pula the next day, Saturday. No rush man, we have our whole life together afterwards. The important event is done. Syukur Alhamdulillah, semua lancar. Timing cantik. Cuaca cantik. Tetamu gembira. Its already near perfect, just as we like it.

And that evening, we had a blast taking photos.

Saya berterima kasih sangat dekat keluarga yang banyak menolong (tolong dengan tenaga, dengan duit.....atau hanye dengan kehadiran masing-masing) dan juga rakan-rakan yang datang. Rakan-rakan lama, dan tak berapa lama dan yg baru pun ada. Rakan-rakan opis, rakan-rakan sekolah RZ, rakan-rakan Uni. You know who you are, susah aku nak sebut nama-nama ni....aku takut betul kot tertinggal nama. Dan rasanya mesti ramai yang datang, tapi tak jumpe aku yang mungkin agak busy hari tu. So, aku tatau la siapa korang, siapa suruh tak jumpe aku.....ekekkee. Thank you, too. Photos will up uploaded into facebook very soon.

Take care all.

Wedding Post

2009-11-17T16:45:00.002+08:00

Salam and hye-nas

How are you all doing? Great? And then all of you would as me....'Are You Ready?'

And my answer? 'Im as ready as i can be. I am so ready, you cant ever imagine.' There...hahahaha.

This friday, moment after Din has said the solemnization - im his wife. Really, im ready. But whats actually to be ready?

If you're talking about material preparation, it is going really well. The preparation starts right after my engagement. I was just about to bask in the warmth of the engagement, when suddenly i have to rush and get everything ready. Thanx to my parents who actualy force me to get everything ready, early. I mean they can really be like Terminator robots sometimes. If i delay things, they can be like destructive robots that gives no mercy....makes you have no choice but to get moving and rush things. Well, actually it was a good thing because things got ready in time now. And of course they know that i will procrastinate, so they rush me =D.

But you know, no matter how early you start, you will feel choked up nearing the date. You would still feel like you dont have enough time for many things. Everything got very hectic and there are things that went wrong. Like not enough cards la, videographer run away la (hahaha!), my cat got really sick, money problem, missunderstandings, and some others. All that stresss me, but its nothing. Semangat nak kawin tu sangat kuat for me to fall apart....hehe.

And emotionally? Well, it feels all mixed up. I feel elevated. Of course im happy and excited to start my own government. And yes, its a lie if i didnt think i would miss my singlehood. But life moves on. Life cannot be stagnant at one state only. Some things changes. Even if you dont wanna change, your environment and the people around you will change. And you, might be left behind. We move from being in one state, to another state. It applies at any aspect in our life. And i dont know why, there is a tiny feeling of sadness. Why? Beats me, i dont know. Maybe because i will live far away from parents, my one and only sister, my little naughty nephew....and errm.....free food....hahahaha =D

Alah, takdenye far away pun sebenarnye kan.....20 minit je. Mengada-ngada kan aku ni!!

My hearthas started to mellow down. It actually softens. I feel the love from parents and family. Although as i said earlier, they can be like terminators....i can feel their love and at these times, you cant help but feel thankful for the family tou have. I was not an easy daughter. I rebel and i know i did hurt them before. But they are my parents who took care of me, until i can talk back to them....tiada galang-gantinya. This is the times when you think and look back of what you did as a child because soon you will be a parent too. This is the cycble of life. And of course, not forgetting my friends around me. I thank you for being there with me...for listening and talking to me.

Friends ask, 'Are You Nervous?'. Well actually, i think i have nothing to be nervous....hehehe. I want to be married to him....so what is nervous? You tell me. Mungkin nervous sebab takot terpele'ot kaki masa jalan.....hahaha. And mungkin incik din la yang nebes....gitu? =P

And of course, there is one huge feeling in my heart....which is the love i have for this guy. I love him, what else can i say. If i can find a better word than this, i would say it. But this is the best word i have....I love him, to infinity. There is nothing in this world that i would change for this...

And i really hope i wont cry on my akad nikah this friday....big potential i would cry. If i cry, that would be embarassing....hahaa.

There.....my wedding post. Till next time.....as a wife =)

Only Pictures

2009-11-15T17:09:00.000+08:00

Me and Him

2009-10-27T03:32:00.006+08:00

Hyenass...

Wow.....tempoh masa saya bergelar bujang sudah hampir tamat. Huahuahua....cam tak percaya. Rasa macam mimpi-mimpi gitu.

So looking back during my engagement time. Orang kata, masa bertunang ni, masa kritikal. Masa-masa ni la banyak cabaran dan dugaan untuk menguji. Saya banyak tanya orang pasal ni. Saya tanya kawan-kawan rapat, betul ke tiba-tiba hubungan jadi pelik dan turbulent. Ramai yang cakap betul. Banyak benda boleh jadi dan berubah. Macam, selalu dia suke kaler biru, tiba-tiba suka kaler pink plak kan. Jadi saya pun bersedia je la.

But im actually excited to go through the time. Im simply ready to see what is going to happen and whats going to change during the engagement. But you know what?...we just swift through the engagement time...swiftly! Alhamdulillah, tak ada masalah. Semuanya ok....in fact, aku lagi mengada-ngada, manja nak mampus dengan dia ada la...hahahah. I think mainly just be normal as before, InsyaAllah, semua ok-ok je. Tak payah tiba-tiba kena membesarkan perkara yang selama ni, tak besar pun.

There is a short period of time before the engagement, where we fight a lot. A short period of darkness. Gaduh sampai nak terbalik dunia. Tapi nasib baik kejap je. We got back on track. In fact, its even better than before. Jadi mungkin Tuhan kata..."cukup-cukup la. kasi diorg lepak plak nak kawin ni".

I've always feel that i will end up with this guy. You know, sometimes you have that feelings....that intuition 'this is the person im gonna end up with'. There is no maths to it...you cant count it, you cant measure it, you cant ask why....you simply have that feelings.

Walaupun saya dah ada feelings macam tu, pada masa yang sama saya selalu fikir, boleh ke saya hidup dengan dia. Sebab we are 2 very different people. Its like he's from the other end of the world and has been living with his tribe all his life. And me, im from the other side of the world living with my own tribe.....and we have never met. The thing is, we're so different!

He's a person who lives by rules. He follows rules. He's the proper one. He thinks about people around him, a lot. He is a calm person and acts carefully. Maybe cos he has a lot of responsibility....career-wise and family-wise. He is a very secretive and private person. He keeps personal things very close to himself. He has procedures and has plans for everything....heck he even has a backup plan for most things. I think he secretly has a backup plan for a backup plan. I mean, its like we're living in a space shuttle circling the orbit in space. What if we hit a rock? What if we run out of oxygen? What if we found a flying cow? He follows what suppose to be done. He controls things....and people too, godamnit. And oh, he's a ManU.

And me.....generally i have no rules....hahaha. I am not proper. I become bored very easily and that makes me do things that is a bit abnormal, regardless what people think. Im full of emotions, not calm. I can get pumped up and excited easily. I dont have plans. I love spontaneity and act spontaneously. I do silly things for my own fun and amusement and i prank people (him...ahaks). Im lurus bendul also. In terms of privacy, i tend to blurt things out and i dont play behind the bush. I know what i like to do, regardless if its not hip or what people say...or how freaky or geeky it is. And what if anything happen? Redah je! And im a Chelsea.

But god knows, how we can click. I think thats what we call compatibility (and of course, jodoh). We complete each other. You cant really live with a person who is exactly like yourself, because its hard to see things in different perspective. You can be lost in track as its maybe hard to see if something is going wrong. You imagine, a slacker living with a slacker. Everything just....slack!

There are certain things that i have to serious, and he always remind me of that. And i always makes fun of his uptightness and try to loosen him a bit. Opposite simply loves and attracts.

Im gonna be a bit busy these few weeks. Till next (distant)time people....

Your Health

2009-10-04T23:21:00.006+08:00

Hyenas....How are you? Good?

No, I really mean how are you? Have you been eating healthily? Do some exercise? Are you healthy?

Satu benda yang saya selalu fikirkan sekarang ni, ialah kesihatan. Now i think of what i eat. Try to make my heart pump harder every now and then. Try to make my muscle and bone work more and also gives my brain something to think and work on.

No, im not becoming one of those skinny freaks who count every teeny weeny calories in their food. Those people are different than me, my dear friend. They only worry about being fat. That's it, period. Me on the other hand....is trying to stay healthy. I think it is great importance for everyone to know, skinny doesnt mean healthy.

I am taking care of what i eat. Limit certain things and eat more of good things. You have to know what food to limit...and what food to substitute the food that you limit. Bukan nak kena pantang larang sakan pun. Just eat the things that you like. But if u know those are the ones that can deteriorate you health, then limit it. If u feel that you are already eating it moderately, then great.

I like to elaborate and share with you more...cos i love to write, but im afraid it will be boring and i hate my post to be boring....hahaha. But its sure a good thing for you to get some information on it. Oh, and one more important thing, exercise. It is important to work your muscle and bones or you'll be frail and weak too soon. Do cardio and work your heart. Keep it burning bebeh. Like my bro, he is big built. He is big. But he plays tennis, a lot. And he has a good heart pumping his blood and a good blood pressure, eventho he has a biiiiig body.

And also...work your brain. Do some reading, some work for the brain like crossword puzzle ke...or when u get old, you will be closer to being nyanyuk! Close to Alzheimer disease. Work it baby....work it!

Dulu kan, saya mana fikir pun pasal ni sume. Main taram makan, sume masuk mulut. Konon-konon masa muda mudi ni la time nak taram makanan kan. Orang tak fikir masa muda ni la penyakit tengah berura-ura dan merancang hendak keluar! Bile umur dah naik sikit....BAM! Kencing manis, darah tinggi, arthritis, kebas-kebas...or god forbid, any terminal disease. All those are accumulated masa kite muda....ok. Masa muda mudi ni bukan masa untuk membuli badan sendiri.

I am in good condition it seems now. I have heaps of energy. My body is functioning well and nothing is limiting me from anything. Alhamdulillah. Im planning to keep it that way. What makes me think and share this with you? Semua timbul sebab saya nak kawin ni la....hahaha. I realize, i have to take care of myself and another dear life in my heart, who is my husband. And soon maybe the little ones, InsyaAllah. We want to live long and build our own legacy. Im even reminding my whole dear family about health.

So take care all. Dont take it for granted. We can make it good.

Till next time.....x0x0.

Raya Post.

2009-09-25T22:06:00.006+08:00

Hye-naasss......good day all! =D

Berlalulah sudah Ramadhan, sebulan berpuasa......no, im not singing that raya song by Anuar Zain & Elina. Its really the end of Ramadhan. It has been Syawal for the past 1 week. Lets hope the changes we made during Ramadhan, stays for good. And i cant listen to anymore raya songs, or i'll puke.....like, seriously!

My raya was good. Had fun with my little cousins and funky uncles and aunties. Tahun ni saya banyak kena usik....hahaha. Semua pakat nak mengajar macam-macam benda kat saya. Ada suruh saya dengan Din makan 'telur' kambing nak kasi 'kuat'.....hahaha merepek. Kang pastu mengembek plak kan. Ada ngajar macam mana nak suap suami la....ada suruh saya pakai kaftan la....for 'easy access'. Hahaha.....they are on fire okayyy!

I also realize its my last raya being single....

And somebody is going far away. Encik DinDang akan berada di Amsterdam pada 29hb ni. He'll be going there for work.....(and of course a few days of lepaking). And he's going without me. Without me! Dia kata mana bleh ikot....sebab kan belum kawin. I hate him. Going to Amsterdam without me. And he said he's gonna watch football match in London cos its in season....well, thank you that makes me hate him more.

But actually, saya kena terima hakikat sebenar la kan, ahahah.....saya memang tak boleh ikot dia keje, sebab kitorang belum kawin pun. We might get our heads chopped off by both our parents if we go together. We might as well dig our own grave if we go....oh well....he promised me another trip soon. Whatever....(tidak dapat menerima hakikat).

Then he said....'tu la, org soh kawin awal tak nak'. Huhuuh....i say that to him ok!

Selamat hari raya. Selamat menghadiri open house. This is the month of feasting with great sinful food. Take care what u eat. I will be doing open house. I hope we have the time for it. Have fun..

Till next time.......x0x0

Ciggies

2009-09-11T16:08:00.004+08:00

Hyenas....

Banyak sungguh la iklan anti rokok. Merata-rata kempen anti rokok. But i think it failed. It phailed!.....big time. Because i think it doesnt work that way. I mean, setakat kempen-kempen anti rokok ni, perokok tak pandang pun. Membazir duit kerajaan je. I saw satu iklan anti rokok. Yang orang ramai-ramai baca surah Yaasin (a Muslim recitation to someone who is dead) dekat perokok tu. Smokers just laugh. Iklan-iklan penyakit kat kotak rokok tu, diorang takde perasaan pun. Diorang mungkin geli masa mula-mula pandang tu, tapi tangan dah pegang rokok dah. Tunggu ape lagi....light je la rokok tu kan.

Memang tiada kesan.

How i know? Because i know. I have been battling with this myself....hahaha. Trying to make this someone to stop smoking.

I have been trying to make my fiance stop smoking for a long time. Before he met me, he smoke a box a day. After we become serious, i feel responsible to take care of him (years ago). I ask him to stop. But then i understand that it is hard to stop. So i ask him to reduce. Baik kan saya? See, im not a medusa (go figure). I dont force, im a very tolerable person. Then we have an agreement about how many cigarettes he can have one day. I trust him to follow the agreement. I am not doing a queen control.....i just CARE. The agreement dated years ago...and it goes on until this very moment.

I have some friends who smoke too. And i realize the thing is, the smoker will only stop, if he wants to stop. That is the very annoying thing about it. I realize this means he doesnt want to stop yet. The smokers doesnt want to stop yet! They see a picture of a gangrene leg because of smoking, and they say..."gamba tu bukan gamba orang sakit hisap rokok, tu gamba eksiden. Penipu."

Doesnt it make u sweat now? Rasanye kalau orang-orang kerajaan yang bertanggungjawab dengan kempen ni dengar camtu, menitik-nitik peluh diorang.

So when do they stop? They will stop when something hit them. Meaning, when suddenly there's something that make them think....that they have to stop already. That time, is elusive. Im not sure when. Im not sure how. Some people stop when they have kids. Some people stop when they got married. Some people stop when they see the pure face of their newborn baby. Some people will stop when someone close to them died because of smoking. Someone even decide to stop smoking when the see a beautiful sunrise.

Maybe some certain people will stop......when i really become a medusa.

Me: I think its time to reduce ur cigarette.

Him: Eh, tak payah. Sekarang pun dah hisap kurang kuota.

Me: Oh, kalau camtu agi senang reduce kan?

Him: Tak payah reduce. Memang hisap kurang dah skang.

Me: What if our kids saw u smoke?

Him: I will NEVER ever let the kids see me smoke!

Me: *sulk....

This battle is not over yet =)

Till next time people....x0x0

Employer Bertuah...!

2009-08-31T22:10:00.006+08:00

Assalamualaikum....Hyenass all!

I haven't written anything for a few days. Its not that i have nothing to write. I have 1001 things to write, but the topic is not suitable for Ramadhan....hahaha. Cos it involves me saying things straight from my heart. So i have to find some 'softer' topic to write.

Can call me hypocrite.....cos i do feel hypocrite sometimes. Cos after Ramadhan i could be the same 'me' again. But i just have much respect for this holy month. I have intention to be better actually. But....i mean....im not that bad i think. I dont have much to change, do i? Im not a social person who lives on booze, all doped-up, promiscous, un-ashamed girl who comes home at 6am on most days. Walaubagaimanapun, ada jugak yang perlu berubah. I will try.

Bulan Ramadhan ni, memang tercabar gak rasanya. Tercabar dek oleh perbuatan employer baru saya. Orang-orang IT mungkin tahu apa terjadi pada EDS. Kalau tak tahu, takpe. Kalau nak tahu, tanya-tanya la orang. Employer baru yang declare kaya, tapi cakap putar-belit...nak bayar salary bulan-bulan pun putar belit. Employer yang cakap berdegar-degar, kata product terjual paling banyak di dunia, business yang maju segala...tapi nak kasi paycut secara tersirat. Pastu cakap putar alam. Dalam hati memang dah berbakul-bakul mencarut-carut.

I wonder if mencarut dalam hati, mencarut di mulut dan mencarut di blog, sama atau tak. Rasanya agak sama gak kot. Sebab yang penting kena sabar....haihh. Tapi kami memang marah dengan employer baru kami....Hopeless Prick. (oh there, i just said something bad.... = ).

Tapi takpe, I refuse to dwell on it. They will lose their experienced employee (ekekek....cam bagus je employee). I just wish to have a decent good job with good decent salary nowadays. A job that makes me work with sincerity. A job that will make me strive and not make me work half-heartedly. But like i said, im not gonna dwell on it. Im not a dweller at all. There is so much other things for me to be happy about.

Life gives you lemon, you make lemonade out of it. Life gives you apple, you make apple juice. Life give u shit?......there's still hope! You make compost(baja) out of it.....ahahah.

EDSers....we all feel mad and frustrated at how they treat us. Chill, we just need to re-tune our budget a bit.....

Till next time......x0x0.

His Minor Operation

2009-08-24T22:51:00.004+08:00

Hyenas all....

Well, its the fourth nite of Ramadhan. All is great, all is fine.

Last 23/8 was my birthday. So many people wished me. I am grateful for that. Thank you for the thoughts. I got a nice cake from my dad. And i got this exquisite expensive chocolate from Godiva.

I mean, from Din. The chocolate is from din....not from Godiva.

I am old.....like the vespa.... =D. I like vespa.... =D

Nothing is that interesting for me too write. Its just normal stuff every day. But whats interesting is, today Din has an appointment at Selangor Specialist Hospital. Its for his minor operation thingy. I offered to go with him. I know he can be there himself....but i offer to be with him, lending my hand....haha.

He actually injured his shoulder because of golf. He tore his shoulder muscle. I believe the cut on his muscle is because he swings so hard beyond what his muscle can handle. He does have a strong and long shot at golf. It has been haunting him for some time already, when at last he decided to see an orthopedic. This is his treatment - The doctor will suck out his blood....with a syringe. Then the doctor will mix his blood with some medicine or drug, then it will be injected in his torn muscle. I have been told of this treatment beforehand.

So, we get to the doctor's office. The doc straight away pierce the inside of his elbow and draw out some blood, and get it to the lab to get it mixed. Ok, i can handle that. Blood is no problem for me. I can have my dinner while watching a heart operation, no biggie.

Then came something else. The doctor wore his latex glove and put some iodine on this shoulder. Then he took one needle besar kakloh, and dengan selambayaya cucuk bahu dia. Besar siot needle tuh! I almost had my heart attack when i see the doctor tonyoh-tonyoh jarum tu masuk dalam bahu dia. Then he pushed in more until the whole-goddam-big-ass-needle were all in his shoulder. The length of the needle is around one finger (my finger), and the whole length is in his shoulder. Then dia tonyoh-tonyoh jarum tu sume masuk. Pastu dia tolak tolak kiri kanan. I was like, cant breathe.....when suddenly i heard his laugh. That was shocking! He laugh because he thinks i was being funny....freaky. I cant breathe and he thinks i was being funny. I expect some pain from him.....but he laughed!

Thats not all.....itu baru bius. I wish there is a bius before bius.....u know....the bius itself is painful. So if there would be a bius before bius....and then bius before bius before bius before bius.....that would be great....huhuuh.

Then came another big ass needle....the same thing happen. Just the needle is the one that will put in his mixed blood into the muscle. Again....the doctor tonyoh-tonyoh....tolak-tolak the needle in. Push left and right. Nampak sangatlah menyakitkan. But surprisingly, he doesnt let out a single whimp. Tatau la kot incik Din kontrol macho kot?....ahahha. But i know he's brave enough and it takes a lot for him to feel the pain. Cuma hantu je yang dia takot.....huahuahuahua.

Now im traumatized. The person who went to lend the hand was traumatized and the pesakit was fine. That totally defeats the purpose. Dah la esok nak bwat HIV test....kena cucuk amik darah jugak.

I feel slightly faint thinking about the HIV test......huhuh.

Anyway, i hope he's doing fine. Dah la dia sorang.....kesian dia....tuh la, org suruh kawin awal, tanak....hahah.

Until next time.....x0x0.

PUasa Ya'll!

2009-08-19T14:39:00.003+08:00

Hye....Hyenas.

Wah....dah nak puasa! Isnt it great? Mengikot astrological month, kita akan puasa 22/9 ni kan? Tapi kite kena mengikut fadilat Islam dan tunggu anak bulan yang comel tu. Ramadhan is my favourite month. The Fasting month and its special. For this one month, we change our lifestyle a bit and its not gonna be the same as other month. The food, the lifestyle.....everything.

Masa nak sahur tu, memang agak sakai la kan, sebab memang mengantuk! Time menagement adalah sangat penting di sini. Bukan sahaja masa bersahur, kena manage time untuk berbuka puasa juga. Kena la tido awal sket. Kalau selalu malam-malam gi clubbing, tak payah la gi. Sebab kalau tido awal lagi bagus kan. Takde la esok pagi, time sahur tertido atas nasi. Karang terbangun dah pagi, dengan nasi dalam lubang hidung dan kuah sardin kering kat pipi. Time menagament lagi la penting terutamanya jika anda sudah berkahwin. Kena siapkan makanan sebelum tido. Kena bangun awal sediakan makanan. Kena kejut suami. Tapi apa-apa pun, sahur adalah sunat yang besar dan penting yang membezakan puasa kita dengan puasa-puasa 'yang lain' - yang bukan seperti Ramadhan. Dia nak hampir kepada wajib dah. Lupe la apa nama sunat tu.....sesiapa yang tahu, sila ingatkan saya plis.

Time puasa tu sendiri, banyak perkara yang kita kena kontrol. This month is when we can control many things. Control kewangan, pemakanan (thats your health), patience, self control (banyak perkara), time management....dan banyak lagi. If we go deeper into these matters, then we learn more. Banyak perkara boleh tulis pasal ni, so thats for you to find if you're interested. The things that we are not suppose to do during fasting is important to shape us up into a better person. Thats self-control. Its all to toughen us up into a better person and a better Muslim. One of it, is no sex during the day. I was just thinking, lucky that im not married before Ramadhan.....hahahhha. If not......bummer.

And fasting is not a bad feeling at all. Its no-eating (and not doing things that you're not suppose to do) only for around 12 hours everyday...not 2 weeks. Kita sebenarnye digalakkan meneruskan hari-hari seperti biasa. Kalau petang-petang kite selalu jogging, go ahead and do it while fasting. We still have to take care of our health. Kalau selalu main golf, main jer la. Orang dekat India tu lagi panas. Rilek je puasa kan. Cume berpada-pada la. Jangan sampai pengsan-pengsan atas padang golf akibat dehydrated. Main 9 hole cukup la kan, yang? (talking to DiN =p)Pandai-pandai la jaga diri.

Nothing beats being hungry and thirsty the whole day....then later set the table ready for break-fast, then when the que comes (the azan)....we dig in! Its an awesome feeling. Especially when we are somehow, in the privillage to eat what we like when break-fast. Like we deserve a treat. Then dengan perut yang bloated...semayang terawih...hahahh. Then malam sikit, makan bubur jagung. Dem!...eheheh.

Tapi agak pelik, kite ambil tahu apa yang kite tak boleh buat je di bulan puasa. Kita lupakan perkara yang baik dibuat di bulan puasa. Seperti sedekah, belanja orang berbuka, dan banyak lagi la benda-benda lain. So, ambil la tahu. Pesanan ini untuk saya sendiri. Saya tahu, pembaca-pembaca blog saya bukan budak-budak muda. Kite kena ambil tahu. We are responsible for our own self.

Banyak lagi boleh ditulis pasal Ramadhan. Tapi saya rasa kite semua dah banyak belajar tentang bulan puasa ni. Kalau tak, read up dan bertanya kepada yang tahu. Saya bukan la orang yang berilmu tinggi. Saya cuma ingin ingat-mengingati sesama kita. Saya share apa yang terlintas dalam kepala otak saya. A lot more things to dig and know.

Dan juga, kite kena meminta maaf kepada rakan-rakan, ibu bapa, dan suami-isteri anda.

Selama berpuasa and have fun while you're at it....xoxo

Ke mana Duit saya?

2009-08-08T17:37:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum and hyeee naaa..s...

Its the darn freakin weekend ya'll...

Apakah perkara yang anda sanggup perabis duit? Benda yang membuatkan anda cair dan
lembik lutut.....hingga membuatkan anda sanggup mengosongkan wallet dan menjadi papa (kedana) sehingga gaji seterusnya? Hahaha....takkan takda kot korang. We all have our weaknesses.

Huhuuh....

I just spent quite a lot of money on something. You wanna guess i spent on what? Adakah anda cakap handbag? Salah! Adakah anda teka kasut? Salah lagi! Dresses? Lagi-lagi salah! Those are not the things that makes me lembik lutut, lalu merancang sebuah rompakan....atau tiba-tiba menggoda boifren saya supaya belanja saya beli.........tidak.

Saya beli buku. Yer, buku. I love books. I mean......i LOVE books! =D. Sounds so geeky arent i? Ehehehe. Dan yer, saya akan menggoda boifren saya supaya membelikan saya sebuah buku yang agak mahal.....ngeee =D

For me books are just magical stuff. Some people tak suke, cam Din tu. I think, a lot of people are traumatized by books....ehehe. You know, we have to read for exams our whole life. So when they see books/reading, they will relate it to stress. When i got into bookstore, there are so many things to read and know. It pains me when i know there are so many things that i dont know.....hahaha. Ada banyak sangat jenis buku yang langsung tak stress. Sebagai seorang yang sangat suke food for thoughts, i just love books....dan yer, saya boleh spend beratus-ratus untuk buku sahaja. Dan buku ni, bukan hanya pada novel. Ada buku pasal macam2 perkara. Buku belajar bawak kapal terbang pun ada.

Satu lagi benda yang saya sanggup belanja ribu-ribuan sampai hampir mama kedana, ialah untuk DSLR camera saya. Camera saya biasa je. Canon 400D. Ok la tu....tak la hebat sakan kan. Ok la untuk amatur cam saya. Specs dia dah cantik molek dah. Tapi dalam tak hebat mana tu, ribu-ribu jugak la habis kan....haha. Lens dia saje dah ribu-ribuan. Tu pun bukan original. Dengan speed-lite lagi kan. Tapi takpe, mak suke you!

Saya juga sanggup spend duit untuk aktiviti gitar saya....hehe. Saya dah spend beberapa ratus untuk belajar gitar....dan saya sangat suke. Jari-jari sakit sampai kematu ke ape ke....saya tetap main gak, sebab teringatkan duit yg byk spend kat gitar ni....haha. Ni nak kena beli tuner plak ni kan. Tunggu la.....saya tulis lagu nanti....kasi Siti Nurhaliza nyanyi...eheh.

Ke situ ler saya spend duit. Cara saya spend duit adalah lebih kepada kepuasan hati dan untuk hobi. Pastu shopping sket-sket gitu.....

Jadi jangan la rasa bersalah kerana anda baru sahaja spend duit yang banyak untuk beli komik tu....hahahaha. We have our weaknesses. Cuma, jangan la terover spend kan. Kena ingat duit nak makan bulan tu paling minimum cukup ke tidak. Nak bagi untuk mak bapak bulan tu cukup ke tidak. Jangan sampai berlakon papa kedana kat kaki lima kerana baru menghabiskan duit untuk membeli patung transformers =D. Kalau camtu, kau kena re-tune balik what is your priority. Kau nak makan patung transformers tu ke....ko nak makan nasik lauk ikan terubuk bakar cicah air asam dgn sup tulang yang panas2 tu.

But nowadays i have to save some money cos i will be using it quite a lot. Kata nak kawin kan. Kawin ni memang makan duit je kerjenye. Pastu nak beli carpet hijau untuk apartment la. Nak beli cermin untuk hall la. Its ok farin....slowly.

Till next time....happy spending. Tengah mega sale ni... =D

x0x0

How to kill time....

2009-08-04T23:43:00.013+08:00

Hyena....

I usually write about other things....other than me. I like to write about random stuff. But cut me some slack this time.....cos i wanna write about me. I was being honest here......

Do you love your ex?: errmmm.....im not sure. i forgot.....hahahh.
Would you ever go back out with an ex?: gosh....epic stupidest question!
What did you last cry over?: A movie.....called The Guitar.
Who was the last person you said I love you to?: My boifren.....
Where do you want to be?: southern part of france.....haha. near the mediteranean area...
What's the last movie you watched?: The Guitar....eh, no....wrong! the movie is called Garden State..
Do you honestly love your friends?: yeah.....the worthy ones....
Who hates you?: i dont care.....
Have you ever used a condom?: i do not need to use a condom....i dont have that thing....u know...that thing. im a girl!
Are you a virgin?: well answer this first.......are you a virgin?
Is your boyfriend/Girlfriend a virgin?: ask him la....
Ever been in true love?: yes......im in one now....
Done drugs?: no la......silly
Gotten high?: well......hhmmmmm.....
How much do you weigh?: 51.4 kgs
How tall are you?: 165 cm
Made fun of a fat person?: well......i tried not too....well...mostly no.
Gone skinny dipping?: nooo.....intsresting idea isnt it? wait till i buy my own island ok..
Given a lap dance?: hhmm......huh?
Made-out?: oi!.....
Seen the opposite sex naked?: what the hell....ask 'behave' question plis....
Ever been Horney?: what is horney? or horny? do u mean honey? no i've never been honey before
Looked at porn?: what? what is porn? i know no porn....
Own any thongs?: what is thong? can u please tell me what is thong?
Touched a genital of the other sex?: my god.......what the hell!
Thought about sex?: hiyaarrkkk! you know, im a person with class. i dont talk about this thing to people.
Had a "dirty" dream?: you have no rights to know, darn questions....
Would you prefer the lights on or off during sex?: hohohoh....im so gonna abandon this questionaire.....see my mood la...
Favorite animal?: leopard....oh i just love animals... =)
Least favorite animal?: kuman h1n1
Do you have a crush on someone?: yes....i have a crush on Bradley Cooper. especially when he has that crew cut...rambut cam askar tu....woweee.
What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?: hahaha....numerous people said i look like dynaz....celah mana tatau la
What is your favorite pizza topping?: pepperoni and extra cheese
What song do you hate the most?: my all time song that i hate is Macarena. makes me wanna go on a killing spree....
Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?: yes....Mr. Bush. and the evil Israelis.
Where did you last go on vacation?: end of last year.....with my girlfriends and had a blast =D
Do you talk to yourself?: i do.......yes. what about you? yes i do....and you? yes i do too. sorry i was talking to myself just now. moving on.....
What superstition do you believe/practice?: my ingredients to make cake has to be in cool temperature....not very a superstition here...hehe...im not superstitious...
What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?: Im Yours
Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive?: i do so......reaaalllly carefully
Would you make a fool out of yourself in public if it meant you were making your partner laugh?: yeah man....i would.....haha. i'd make a fool of myself for me laugh too
Do you judge people solely by their musical preferences?: i dont judge people with their music....i just wonder, like....why they even like that song!
Do you believe that dreams can be messages from a "higher level"?: no la....the other day i dream, i colour my hair blue. that would be one hell of a stupid message then...
Did America really put a man on the moon?: oh them? americans? they do eeeeeeeverything, isnt it? they are capable of doing eeeeeeverything isnt it?.....their leaders loves war and aaaaaaall of them support isnt it? they even eat shit, no?
Do you like bananas?: not that i hate bananas....its just not my favourite fruit. banana is like....weird.
What is your favorite song of all time?: this is hard. I like a lot of songs. I like Angels by Robbie Williams. I have some evergreen songs like by Muse, Stereophonics, Jason Mraz.....i just love music
If you could have one super human power what would you choose?: i want to be invincible....and invisible too....
What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out: play dead....
Do you shower every single day?: yeah....contrary to popular belief....i actually smell nice =D
Aliens have landed and selected you to visit their home planet. Do you go with them?: only if after im sure they're nice....
If you had to pick one car, which would it be?: oh....i dont ask much....just the latest nissan skyline
Why did the chicken cross the road?: leave the chicken alonee.....
Do you read harry potter books?: nope.....dorks read that books....hahahha. oh u read harry potter?.....sorry....hehe, cool
If you have friends coming for supper what would you cook?: order pizza....
Do you say "I love you" in the relationship?: yeah man....why wouldnt you? you got issues man....
How many hobbies do you hav?: manyyyyyyy
Are you happy?: yes i am...

Help Mother Nature

2009-07-30T14:34:00.018+08:00

Hye...na....

I wanna ask a simple question. Do you love a sight of a beautiful landscape? Do you love and appreciate nature? Imagine this.....

- A beautiful clear turqoise sea and the white sand. The wind blowing with the great salty scent of the sea. The colourful eccentric creature down the sea. The pretty blue sky. You know how the sea looks and feel right?.........or...

- A beautiful clear cool waterfall and river which reflect the light on its surface like diamonds floating. Once in a while you can see fishies jumping out catching some bug above the water. You can do some fishing. The trees hovers above majestically...green, mystifying, natural, untouched. You can even jump in the river till u turn blue and shivering....

U watch the documentary and saw the majestic lion and the whimsicle elephant in the African dessert? Do you watch about the tigers or the amazon and think its all invaluable? Do you watch about the whale and dolphin and think they are awesome?

When you go to other country, say Phuket...or Switzerland, u feel its so pretty with all the pretty sea, mountain and the white snow. U love the cleanliness and crisp cool air. But when you come back to Malaysia, you throw rubbish and be irresponsible. There's a little hypocrisy there isnt it? Dont you love your own country? Ok then....say hi to Switzerland.

Of course you like all that right? Of course u like clean air. Beautiful landscape that makes u feel good. Going to beautiful country and enjoy yourself. Of course u like all that!

Do you believe in karma towards mother nature? You better believe it, cos when you're being reckless and irresponsible, it will backfire. Thus the arctic is melting and all the water will flow in the sea and lessen the land. Singapore, will be gone. I wonder what are the leaders of the world and doing about this. And now there are holes in the ozone which will bring the sunlight straight to the earth. That, my friend....can bring you skin cancer. Now you have to put a thick layer of sunscreen. Not like the people 30 yrs ago. They dont even know whats sunscreen. And so many other things can can affect us.

So help mother nature. Because if we continue being irresponsible and reckless in what we do everyday, all that will be gone. Be responsible! How? Example....

When u buy stuff, if its not big and easy to hold, refuse the plastic bag. Put the stuff in your bag or pocket. Better still, if u have your own shopping bag. Ikea is doing a great thing about this. They offer the durable shopping bag at RM1.90 that you can reuse everytime. Now, one plastik bag would cost 20 cents in Ikea. Other country has already adopted this kind of thinking. When i went to UK early this year, they dont give plastik bag. I once need a plastic bag there, and the cashier ask me for 10 pence....malu sket saya. We dont really think that way yet.....itu beza antara pemikiran negara maju, dan pemikiran orang Malaysia.

When you go to restaurant, use the tissue paper as what u need. Do not take it like u need to make a living out of it! Its not like "oh its ok....we already paid for it!". Yeah you did pay....and so does thousands of other people. But do they do take half of the tissue? Dont think like that. Again, i like to take Ikea for example. They put a notice at the tissue dispenser. It says "take only what you need". Thats the kind of thinking Malaysian need. We should change the way we think and not be like....kiasu. Thats one way to save nature and the trees...save the usage of tissue pape. And papers too. Print and use only what you need.

Others would be....save water. When you shampoo, sabun yourself, brush your teeth - turn off the tap.

Recycle papers and bottles (kaca/plastik/aluminium) whenever you can. Some say, "jual suratkhabar bukan dapat byk duit pun. 20 sen je". Alahai......itu pun nak kire ke! Just give the papers to the lorry or send it to the recycling centre. Try to get whole family and friends to do the same.

Turn off the electricy whenever you are not using. You feel so hot? I dont think you have to turn the air-cond everytime in your room. Turn on the fan and just get naked =p

Also, don go killing animals. Dont go and support the killing of the whales and dolphins. Dont go eating every creature on earth. Some things are created to be eaten....some just here on earth to roam. Like us, human beings.

Some people think...."its no use for me to do it alone when 25 million other people in Malaysia not doing it". Do not care about other people. Its not about other people. Its about your own principle. Try to educate others. Some say westerners brings bad influence. But this influence from the west, is great.

Till next time......xoxo

Psychedelic moment

2009-07-22T14:46:00.009+08:00

Hyena!!

Warrghhhh......mata saya berpinar-pinar. Tadi saya tengah upload gamba dalam pc. Pastu saya edit-edit sket gamba tu. Kononnye macam nak buat scrapbook la kunun (yer, saya tengah mengumpul gambar-gambar saya untuk dibuat scrapbook =D ihik...). And my eyes see so many colours....im becoming psychedelic. Saya berhalusinasi di mana saya nampak bintil-bintil warna yang mencurigakan dalam keadaan menjolok mata dan tak sepatutnya. Mata saya macam nampak ada bintik-bintik warna kecil yang berterbangan dan menari-nari zapin di depan mata. Kurang hajar betul!

So i think, i will stop editing and wrote some crap here before the bintik-bintik warna starts talking to me.

I have gained weight. Hehehhee....saya dah lama menunggu saat-saat di mana badan saya sampai 51 kg. Sekarang, 51 kg, 165 cm. Ok aa tu. Dulu 48 je. Ramai orang dengan ringan mulut kata saya keding.....hahaha. Nak cari seluar jeans susah betul. Banyak seluar jeans saya akan meninggalkan ruang yang sungguh banyak di punggung. Macam kena letak padding gitu....ahahks. Kedai-kedai banyak jual bra yang ada padding....rasanya sudah sampai masanya pengeluar-pengeluar jeans meletakkan padding pada seluar jeans mereka. Dengar tak?!

Tapi...!

Haa.....tapi, itu adalah berkara dulu. Sekarang saya sudah naik berat dan ruang-ruang kosong tersebut sudah terisi (hati juga telah terisi =D). I have decided, my weight will stop here. I have to be strict or else, i will be ballooned. If i am ballooned, i would like to be filled with hellium, so that i can float in the sky and fly to the southern part of France =D....(out of topic alert!)

Macam mana saya naik berat? Makan la, cemana lagi. Saya ni, mempunyai badan yang membakar kalori dengan sakan. Saya buat apa-apa jer pun, badan saya akan membakar makanan dengan sakan...like hays on fire. Oleh sebab itu, badan saya memang sentiasa warm....cos im on fire baybee! Jadi, apa saya buat? Saya makan, dan saya serta merta bertukar menjadi couch potato. Saya tidak banyak bergerak untuk menjimatkan kalori dari terbakar.....huhuuh. Bayangkan sebiji kentang yang tidak bergerak di atas sofa.

Metabolisma yang tinggi adalah agak heaven. Saya mampu makan apa sahaja, tapi berat tak gerak-gerak. Tapi bahaya woo....kurus tak semestinya sihat ok. Orang yang metabolisma tinggi, kadang-kadang tak perasan apa yang diorg makan. Dah tu...melantak sume benda pun badan tak naik, memang tolak batu dengan kayu jer la kan (dan beberapa bende lain yg tidak edible). Nampak tak, bahayanye metabolisma tinggi ni? Saya ni pulak dikurniakan Tuhan mampu memakan pelbagai jenis makanan dr Italian, Indian, Japanese, Melayu, Indonesian, Westerns. Memang kena hati-hati makan.

Im not 19, im 26 now....nearing 27. Im getting married soon (have to remind myself over and over...ahahks! but not only reminding myself...i have to remind other people also im almost 27 and getting married =D). I think, one thing that people overlook is their health and what they eat. Its important to control what you eat, and then exercise. Its damn important. Im looking at this matter closely now. Saya memang kurangkan makan fast food dan makanan yang over-over lemak dan manis ni. Saya tak makan ikot suke hati dah, dan saya akan exercise seperti mengangkat dan mengusung treadmill, menghantuk-hantuk kepala dengan raket tennis, berenang anjing, dan badminton.

Time to take charge and be responsible on your ownself. And then i will take charge on Din's food plak....ngeh ngeh ngeh (gelak mishcievous....he'd be nervous =D)

till next time.....x0x0

Furniture Shopping

2009-07-19T14:29:00.006+08:00

Hyena all.......hope ya'll in the pink of halth........i mean health.

Its 2 months through my engagement. So far its fine. Its breezy and great. I was thinking, i've known him for so long, and he knows me for so long...so it must be easy for us to get along.

The problem is, when u are engaged, a new side of yourself and ur other half is revealed. Its funny...when u thought u know that person inside out, something new about that person came up.

Lemme tell you exactly what i mean. This is just my experience.

These few months, we're trying to furnish the apartment where we will live together. I have a picture of what i want in my head, and he has his own picture in his head too. The mistake is, we didnt discuss 'our pictures' at all....haha. I simply forgot to discuss about it. I already set the things that i want, and where to put it and i also want certain place in the house to be empty (nothing to be placed there). I want something that is classy and at the same time look modern with some characters in it (wardrobe/cabinets....etc).

So we went on a trip to Ikea to find our second wardrobe (one wardrobe is not enough) and a rak for my many books and his books and a chest drawer for storage and some storage for the kitchen and maybe a cute low cabinet to put the phone and a nice chair...bla bla bla....huhuuh. And then, so it happen.... Mind-Clashing. He wants other things....i want other things. i do not agree certain things that he wants, and where he wants to put it....and he said what i want is not suitable and not necessary!

Sounds simple....but at times, u can feel the frustration and annoyed when you dont find any agreement for certain things. This is what i mean when i say something new....because we never go shopping for furniture before. This is the first time. And i never knew he want that thing and dont want this thing and he wanna put that thing over there....bla bla bla. And each of us cant imagine what the other person is saying about where to put it all....its stressful. Not to mention we have a budget to stick to.

Its only an apartment!....what if we want to furnish a bigger house? God knows!

But this is not a big problem actually. Its actually interesting to find a new side of the other person. Like, i never know he likes dark colored furniture....like, black! But i can find a way to make it nice and not make the whole house look gloomy with black furniture....like, green carpet! Ha.....i want a green carpet! =D

We'll try to find a way to get what we want for the house. Or what we call....compromise. We have been compromising with each other perangai....we can compromise this one too, right babe? =)

Till next time......x0x0

Ella The Cat

2009-07-07T21:26:00.010+08:00

Assalamualaikum.......and hyena eberibodi!

Ada la, hari Ahad lepas-lepas...saya pergi Midvalley Megamall. Ada cat exhibition. Saya sebagai seorang yang suke kucing dan binatang, pergi la dengan Din. Pastu kan, tak pasal-pasal Din pergi register Ella untuk the next cat exhibition. Saya pikir, bior betul incik Din ni...konfiden betul pi register Ella-the-saiko-cat tu. Bende pertama saya pikir ialah, 'can Ella behave properly at the pertandingan'. Memang Ella tu saiko sket ok! Masa dia baik dan manja tu, memang baik la. Kalo datang hangin dan saiko dia tu, dia akan bertukar kepada resaksa kecil bermata besar, yang berlari seperti pelesit...yang tidak mendengar cakap dan suke mengasah gigi sendiri (grinding her teeth). Kadang kala dia akan mengunyah bulu karpet yang tercabut, dan menelannye dan kami akan kelam kabut mengejar Ella untuk mengorek kembali bulu karpet itu (takot la tercekik ke, tersimpul dalam perut ke), tapi dia akan berlari seperti pelesit entah ke mana.

(She wants to type something)

Anyway, back to the cat exhibition thingy. So, dah register tu, means some work for me. Saya bawak dia pergi cucuk vaksin dan makan ubat. Ubat kutu pun letak lebih dose. Risau jugak kot-kot kang kutu hilang, sekali dengan bulu-bulu dia plak jadi togel cam sphinx cat. Mampos! Tapi nampak sume ok skang. Sehari sebelum pertandingan, kasi mandi, sikat-sikat lebih kurang. Thats it.

Last Sunday 5/7 is her pertandingan. Lepas register, the vets checked her kutu, her tail, her paws, her teeth, her ears and face and she passed the first screening. Lepas tu they announced, 'Para tuan kucen, sile kuor sbb para juri nak bwat judging dah skang'. I dont have high hope on her. Sebab memang ada kucen lain lagi hebat. Bulu lagi lebat sampai tak nampak rupe kucen...you'll be like, is that a cat, or a walking cotton ball!...well, its a cat. Or, is that a cat or a baby tiger!....well, its a cat. I think Ella is cute and all (all cat is cute)...but i dont put any hope or pressure on Ella.

Tapi kan, bile masuk balik tu kan, we got so surprised when we found out Ella got number 2!....hahahha. Waddaya know! There is a ribbon on her cage and she got a little trophy in her cage! So cute! Ella dapat nombor 2 untuk category Female Domestic Longhair over 1 year old.

Memang agak terkejut la kan. Sebab saya takde la jaga dia sakan sangat. I have my own life....hahaha. I dont want to be like the crazy lady at the end of the street with 40 cats. Jaga dia cam biasa je. Bagi dia punya ubat yang memang dalam jadual. Sikat bulu dia pun jarang-jarang....eheh. Padahal dengan bulu dia yang banyak tu, it is recommended to comb her hair every day. But i guess she's happy and fine and that shows in her apperance and health which makes her the number 2.

Well, i guess she tried her best to behave. Because it is a very tensed environment for cats. The noise is horrible. Dengan manusia sekeliling yang terjerit-jerit, dengan bunyi bende-bende jatuh la, bunyi speaker yang meletup2...ntah macam2 lagi. Kesian gak dengan dia. Dah la tak boleh tidur (kucing suke tidur siang) dengan bunyi bising-bising segala, dengan perangai manusia yang melebih kucing yang masuk pertandingan tu. Nak je aku sumbat orang-orang yang kecoh tu dlm sangkar. Pulak tu lagi kucing sume tak boleh makan/minum the whole time. Sebab dia orang tak mahu kucing berkumuh (bukan berkumur) dalam sangkar. I know Ella was stressed and tired and hungry......and in a freakin bad mood.

One time, she even hissed at me! At me!....ampeh punye budak ni (nak je jentik telinga dia, tapi takot orang nampak), Kalo anak aku memang dah kena piat telinga. Nasib baik kucing. (yer, saya memang akan menjadi seorang ibu yang garang, insyaAllah). Rasa bersalah jugak bile kite pergi makan, but the cats stay hungry, thirsty and tired in the cages. And the people who came to see the exhibition can be so cruel. They will poke-poke the cat and tarik2 bulu (Meh aku poke mata kau, nak? Tarik and cabut sume bulu kaki kau ke. Mau?) So we stay close to the cage. So that Ella can see us nearby. Well, alas....the little girl won number 2 and we got a big supply of cat food.

Its funny, that we want the cat to enter the competition, but it only leave the cats feeling miserable. Doesnt matter, we got the cats food....which is worth hundreds of ringgit. Its an interesting experience for us too. Congrats Ella.....ehhehe.

Till my next post....x0x0

Stupid Font

2009-06-15T11:30:00.002+08:00

Hyena!

Whoever came to my blog to read my last post must be surprise to see all symbols on my page.
My blog is fine.....no virus or anything shit. Just, i tried posting it with the font Webdings for my last post. And of course came out all the symbols. Stupid font.....

Ok....i feel so silly for blaming the font.
Maybe Im the silly one for using Webdings. My post is change to a readable font now.... =D

Inggerish

2009-06-13T15:26:00.004+08:00

Hello and Hye ena

So, weekend is here huh? Yaaawwnn.......ok.....doesnt matter, cos its a working weekend for me. Sleepy slow weekend. Its my cycle, to work in alternate weekends. Im used to this. Great thing is, there is no Monday blues for me next week....only Monday wohooss!...hahaha. And some more, i will only work on Weds and Thurs. How cool is that?

When we're in working environment, we always communicate in English, right? The emails in English, communicating between colleagues mostly in English, communicating with bosses would be in English. In fact, this all starts in Uni time. Communicating with lecturers was done mostly in English. Answering exam would be in English. Essays, assignments...all in English. The texbooks all in English. I tried reading a malay book on programming, and hell no i dont understand. I also found malay Physics book when i studied Advance Physics in Uni.....nope, its really strange that i cant understand my own language. Its all because they use malay terms....which really sounds unfamiliar.

Programming = Pengaturcaraan.......get it?

So...is it weird that i feel i cant communicate and convey my ideas in plain Bahasa Melayu well? The other day, i was at office, lepak by the balcony. Me and my friends we were talking about Birkinstock shoes and I said the shoes are comfortable. And suddenly Sukh ask:

'Genggaman dia ok tak?'

And i look at him weird.

'Genggaman?'

'The grip of the shoes. Tapak dia ok ke?.....what do u call 'grip' in malay? Genggaman right?'

'Oo0o0o....grip of the shoes! yeah man, the grip is fine.'

Like example of conversation above, what would u call 'grip' in malay? It is 'genggaman' right? It is suppose to be a usual word right? But why does genggaman sounds funky there? Is there any other unfunky word to describe the grip of a tapak kasut? Or do u think is sounds fine?

Isnt it funny when we find the word in Malay is too bombastic. Padahal memang selalu cakap BM (tapi bahasa pasar). Like Sukh said, 'after several years using English, speaking simple malay also can sound bombastic.' I think it happens like this cos BM can be so pasar. English is a bit more steady. It does not have to much sleaziness in the language.

What Sukh said made me laugh, cos its absolutely true. We have been using English as our (almost) primary language for some years already, which I, sometimes cant find a proper word in Malay. I sometimes feel English language has more accurate word than Malay. Im not doing a Sharifah Amani stunt here (remember Sharifah Amani once said, speaking in malay makes her sound stupid...and then everybody slammed her the very next morning in the papers? even the menteri kesenian makes his remarks on what she said). No, im not pulling 'a Sharifah Amani' here.

There is a lot of beauty in BM. But i just think BM can be too pasar, that when u tried using a proper word in Malay, it sounds bombastic. Of course I can still speak malay. I can speak proper malay but i dunno why, i felt like it sounds a bit......funky. Because like i say, sometimes malay words dont come out right. Just like the word 'genggaman' up there.

Take care all........xOxO

Me, a fiancee

2009-06-04T13:15:00.007+08:00

Hye yena!

Currenly im down with fever. Malam ni keje plak tu kan. MC dah amik semalam, tapi lom sembuh2 lagik! Its viral fever cos its getting at my body rreeeeaaally slowly. I had it before and i know how bad it is. I had fever sometimes but not this bad, and when its bad, i know its viral. Lambat sembuh and also very la the hotness...huhuuh. Last time i got viral fever, was last year. Horrible and every nite my temperature would be soaring like an eagle in the sky. 39-40 C and my body would be very weak.

Nasib baik tak rosak otak dan jadi retard kan....eh wait, now that got me thinking...hhm mm =p.

Viral fever, got a class on its own. It is on its own....no flu, no coughing included. Its in its own package - viral fever. Try not to get caught of viral fever, ok.

Anyway.....

Last 30/05/09, me and Din has decided to tie a 'loose knot'.....we were engaged. Well, me and Din has a very long history. I've known him 7 years ago. And during that 7 years, there is good time and there is turbulent time (horrible lowest time in my life). And at certain time, i think i can never ever love him back. Tapi ini la kite kata takdir tuhan. Dia bukak hati kite, and we accept it and it happened to be the greatest thing.

Thank you everybody who manage to came. Farrah, Khom, Marini, Piza, Ros, Suraya, Farah, Ila and Manchett dan hubby mereka. Oh dan Ariz Zafir yang masih dlm perut Ila time tu...haha. Esok lusa tu terus Ila terberanak...hehe.

Awaiting my other friends' turn.... =)

Take care.....x0x0

Howly Shayt!

2009-05-26T16:36:00.006+08:00

Hyena! I love life....dont you just love life? I love life.... =)

Anyway, a few days ago i've done something totally unbelievable...i cant believe it myself....hahaha. You know girls always remember (so-called)important dates right? Like relationship anniversary, their birthdays, mothers day, fathers day, sisters day, brothers day, their grandparents anniversary, their grandparents birthdays, their pets birthdays....and they expect guys to remember it too and do something special on that day. It is troublesome isnt it?

I, on the other hand.....is a bit different. I forgot the day me and my DinDang promised to be commited to each other. In other words, i forgot our anniversary! He, on the other hand, is the one who remember!....and even hinted to me, but the date never occurs in my thick skull.....

.....and, and and......i only remember it 4 freaking days later!

Im so one of a kind...am i, huhuuh. But not much hassle for sure ;). I sincerely really forgot about it, because i was more excited on other date which is coming nearer and nearer.

Im sorry babe!.....

Forgetting that day doesnt mean a thing. He knows it, i know it. Its all in peace.....ehhe. (but i still feel bad tho).

I will post more soon....take care all
x0x0

My Kitteh

2009-05-11T10:23:00.016+08:00

Hyeena all....

Havent updated this thing for so long. I've been busy a bit and also i got no idea what to bebel. Busy bwat ape? Ade la.....hehehe. Its been busy, i even missed my guitar lesson last time cos i was busy doing my tax and bayar zakat pendapatan. I havent strum my guitar for some time already....haih. And then i got busy finding kain la, pergi taylor la, bwat kek la....ntah pape lagi la...

Its been busy i havent even watched Wolverine and many other movies. Havent got time to go on a real nice simple date for some time already, where i can dress nicely and wear my favourite perfume with DinDang. And DinDang have been busy with his work. He got this huge migration going on and sometimes he can be cranky and mad at people (that would be me, cos i can be silly and say silly stuff sometimes). I understand. But he cant be mad at me for long.....and he knows why =)

When you are busy and sometimes a bit stress, a pet is always nice to play with. I just got time to bathed my cat. I bathed her cos she barf (muntah ok!...huhuuh) on the floor and she kind'a swipe her long bushy tail on her own smelly barf....and she smell so masam. Maybe she panicked when she realized she just barf, and tried to clean up the floor with her own tail (cos i can be garang with her sometimes).

Now she's clean and she smells like johnson n' johnson baby....and no, i did not bathed her with johnson n' johnson's baby. Her soap smells like that.

Here she looks very comot. You see, she has quite a short nose. Not short like exotic cat, but still a short nose. Her tear duct is short and her tears would flow out of her eyes and become dried later....and that would stain under her eyes. Sometimes its funny, cos it looks like she has eye-bags...like she's sick. She always cleans her face. She's very hygenic and vain dan pentingkan kecantikan. One time i forgot to clean up her litter box and she rebel and she peed and pooped just outside the litter box. My fault i forgot to clean up her toilet.

She is an adult cat now. She has her horny season. We tried to match her with the vet's cat. An exotic long hair, with black and white coat and beautiful wide eyes.....named Secret. But apparently Secret is not her taste. I think Secret is adorable. But she hates him. I dunno whats wrong with her. If only she can talk and tell me whats wrong.

Does Secret has smelly armpit? Does Secret farts a lot? Does she want hidung mancung and not exotic ones like Secret? Anybody has a handsome, healthy, good breed, tested for disease, male cat to mate with her? Well, i have one cat in mind....that is Rerey. But gonna wait for his coat to tumbuh first. Tuan dia, si Lina tu dah cukur bulu dia habis gonjeng....hehehhe.

This pic of Rerey is taken from Lina's blog post

I think sometimes she's afraid of me, cos i can be garang to her sometimes. But i know she loves me still....hehehe. Well, Ella-girl was a present to me. A present from DinDang. At that time, Ella was only 2 months old, now she's maybe around 1 1/2 yrs. Now, me, my sister and DinDang loves her and takes care of her. That time me and Din were not in good terms and Ella was one of his try to pujuk me. Well, long story..... =)

Now....new story.
Till next time.....xoxo.

Wowee....

2009-04-25T02:45:00.005+08:00

Me and Incik DinDang
My heels were killing me...
Gotta hang on to him or else im gonna fall....=)

My Equilibrium

2009-04-24T16:34:00.009+08:00

Hyena all!

Its really sunny today. Too sunny actually, it burns. And there's no rain. Usually it will rain around 3pm+ everyday. But its already 4.30 and no rain. I guess no more rain season. Or the Sun just had a good time...cos another Sun in another solar system just asked her out last nite....and decide to shine her best today.

Im too abstract....am I? I know....oh well....anyway...

Have u ever like.....decide on something....and then u really really think you would stick by your decision....only to be doing total opposite of your decision? You understand me? Try reading the previous sentence again. You would understand I think. Of course you understand. I think, in a way you would/have experienced it.

I have experienced that. The whole situation (deciding and change it all over again). It shows that we are not in control of the future. It is so unpredictable. It is so evident how we dont have control over things and how God can change your heart and have total control over everything.

Not very long time ago (but not so recent also) I have prayed to God to show the best choice for me.....a.s.a.p. Cos making big decision is not easy as it also involves the future. And we dont know how the future is. And so I prayed to God...with a small heart. And not very long after that, amazingly my heart open up towards something/someone that i have been pushing away all this while. Total opposite! And amazingly i become so calm and at the same time excited and happy towards that something/someone. Amazing how God can open up your heart and give you the best choice...when u think you're alert and know everything that u want...when in fact, you were so blinded.

We have no total control....we just have faith and hope and we gotta work for the best.

I sometimes made wrong decision too. My history of wrong decisionsss were dated back when i was younger.....haha. But wrong decision and choices never makes me afraid or serik. I move on fast. But this decision that i just made feels so right, that i feel like....its better then right =p. It makes me feel so calm, happy, excited and it feels like theres nothing more to worry about. I found my equilibrium.

But...as i said, i dont know what the future holds for me.....for us. If by any chance, it doesnt work well, i will accept it like any other wrong decision that i make. I just have hope, faith and work towards it.

Im basking in this. Its my equilibrium =)

Till next time.....xoxo

A Little Sex Geography

2009-04-10T00:15:00.008+08:00

Hyena!

So, this is my new blog page. I had blogspot account long time ago, but i resort to writing in friendste blog. Ahahaha....but then after that, i was told writing in friendster blog was rather juvenile! and that got me offended....and so i change. I had my blogspot account already, so all i have to do, is revamp it a bit. This change to blogspot is also in conjunction to the change of a new era in my life. Things are changing so quickly (and so totally awesomely), i need to take a breather some times.

I just got to know something ironic. Something weird. Do you know that Japan is one of the nation with the lowest sex? They had sex like....around 55 times a year (average once a week). Compare to US, France, Russia who boast 130 times per year. (And Malaysia is totally not the lowest!). But ironically, Japan porn industry is really big. That....is ironic. With the porn industry big like that, you would think that the people are sex-crazed. But apparently, its the total opposite. And so i guess all the porn was solely an acting for the industry? Or were they doing all the porn for their very own people to have some desire to have sex? The elderlies above 50, have zero sex. And they also have the lowest birth rate in the world. And they are trying to overcome this matter. This research was done last year.....and i dont think much has change over a year.

Brazil, France, Russia, Greece, US which are the nations with the highest sex, doesnt even count on their porn industry as the main income (maybe except US). But holy guacamoley, they are the most active. Im not sure Malaysia in what position, but fret not, M'sia is totally not the lowest. Not even near the lowest group. I dunno.....but if Malaysia is among the lowest, that would be a sad thing. That would mean M'sian libido is low.....haha.....uncool. Bad name and reputation. But we're more mysterious in this matter and we dont talk about it openly. Not our culture and way. Im not sure if we ever gonna open up. But i think, we're fine this way.

Oh well.....anyway.....

I usually write long posts, but i havent got a nice topic to dig and discuss....just having some good and peaceful times.

Till next time......xoxo.

Surprise Flowers..

2008-02-15T19:17:00.000+08:00

Me, sick..

2008-02-08T15:32:00.000+08:00

I am sick...

I am down with fever. Its been so long since last time I'm down with fever...I mean bad fever. I got fever a few months back. But that was not a very bad one. Demam acah-acah je. But this one...wow...last nite my temperature soar up high like an eagle flying in the sky....hahah. I have high tempature for 2 days. My body was so hot, and I was lightheaded and dizzy and my eyes is bloodshot. It was bad...

Being a pessimist person, I started to think if my condition is actually serious (stupid!). Until I fell asleep. And this morning I decided I better get MC. And here I am...writing my blog and feeling better.

What do you do when you get sick?

If you get fever, and you got one hell of a high temperature, drink lots of water. Plain water. Milo will do fine also. Do not drink cold water, or you'll get sicker. Drink air suam. Then you will want to pee. Your pee will be hot and there is where the hotness will flow. The hotness will go out through your pee.

Also, take your medicine, and cover up until you sweat. The concept is simple and natural. You know sweating is a mechanism to control your body temperature. So when you sweat, your temperature will drop. When you already sweating, you can remove your jacket and whatever. But its gonna be pretty disgusting...you know...sweating and all. But you will feel better...really. But this is temporary. The temperature drop is temporary. When the effect is over, your temperature will rise again. It's just to help you fell better and not feel so sick. The fever will go away by itself nanti.

Also eat hot simple food. This is not for people with fever only. Its for sick people in general. The food that is eaten akan dicernakan (cant find the word in English...haha) inside your body. This all needs energy. The bigger and complicated the food, the more energy will be used to cerna the food. So eat simple hot food. You dont want to use all of your internal energy to cerna the food. You also need the energy to get better. So eat food like porridge, hot soup with some rice, warm milk. You dont have to eat untill you so full. This is not the time to melantak. You can melantak when you get better. I mean this is not for eternity.

And another great thing to have when you fell sick, is someone who will layan your whimsical and you can manja-manja with...someone who loves you.

Well....I feel better now. Gotta get my MC...hehe.

Later guys...